HASH TRASH
Run No. 1400
Venue: Wet Dream’s & Boogie Boobs’s Beach Hideaway, Kimbigi
Hares: Cockroach, Wet Dream, Boogie Boobs
Grandmaster: Cockroach
Religious Advisor: Pinky Winky aka The Perkle aka Candyman

What a pulchritudinous Hash - so fitting for our 1400th birthday. So many Hashes and yet so little sign of Hashers maturing into responsible, sober, productive adults. Here’s to the next 1400 Hashes - On On.

The Chief Hair - Cockroach - warned Hashers of the hazards of running over coral, and then measured his length before he had even got out of the plot - as did BagOBones. The trail showed unmistakable signs of overplanning and the left hand not knowing what the right hand was doing - i could have sworn it had been set by a Government ministry, but as it was I just swore. There seemed to be checks behind every bush - well perhaps not every bush. But we soon settled down into a steady rhythm going nowhere quite happily. And there were three beer stops - not an all-time record but very welcome nonetheless.

Once the preliminaries were over Hashers got down to the serious business of drinking, being rowdy and generally taking the piss. Spitss and Swallows (always a popular choice) was the first to be targetted on account of her wrecking the Triple last week, trying to hide the evidence, and then pissing off in a great hurry - to attend to a Code Red - so she said. After careful scrutiny of the Penile Code, Hashers determined that she had committed manslaughter and must be punished by submitting to a horizontal down down - executed by no less than Mr Egregious himself - CampBed. You will not be at all surprised to learn that she foamed horribly at the mouth, and then muttered “Fricken” a lot. Pinky Winky was the RA, and a fine job he made of it (it’s just a pity that it doesn’t pay well - and I have been told that the pension is not up to much either). He brought in the LateCummers - to whit: LateCummer, Wounded Knee, and Nurse Ratched (sic) and he got the wannabee Scots (Jesus and BagOBones) out to do a Reel of Two on the side, and then castigated (ouch) Easy Let, Jesus, LateCummer, Cockroach, and Wanderlust for being Inappropriately Dressed. Spitss (ever alert for threats) said that Twitcher’s tent looked like a psychotic helicopter - or a mad chopper if you like - and ‘tis true there was a striking resemblance. Talking of bad parents, there was great opprobrium for Wounded Knee and Nurse Ratched (sic), Head Gasket, and the Wet Dream team. Virigns humiliated included Adam, Natalia (who likes threesomes with a chair) and Melanie. The three GMs (former and present) took the Triple, and a right mess they made of it it too. And the Hashit went to Head Gasket lookalike - Shaggy Haggis. The Circle ended - as it should - with a lusty rendering of Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.

On On
BoB

Due to lack of space the account of a sighting of the rare ‘merkin’ at Kimbigi has had to be held over to next week. Editor