HASH TRASH
Run No. 1381
Venue: CampBed’s tent, Grants Road, Msasani
Hares: Loves That Shit, Candyblower
Grandmaster: Cockroach
Religious Advisor: The Perkle

Loves That Shit dished up some outrageously mendacious marking at one point, but when all’s said and done it was a very Ok trail - The Perkle went so far as to say that it was ‘pretty damn good’, though, if you trust his opinion on anything, you’re dafter than I thought. Desperate said the walk was very chatty, and that she had even learnt a new recipe for fairy cakes (I made that last bit up). In the absence of the Trailmaster and the presence of his clueless lookalike (Squirrel) we moved onto announcements, viz. the Dumb Dumb Hash on the 3rd & 4th of July at South Beach, and, on the 11th & 12th September, the Morogoro Hash, which the GM was at pains to point out will this year be held in ......Morogoro.

The RA has been under the doctor (something to do with genital warts apparently, but we won’t go there - Candyblower isn’t - and I would trust her judgement anyday) but this didn’t stop him making Easy Let and Stella drink out of their (newish) shoes. And not content with this he then unleashed a tirade about hashers who do muscle-stretching exercises at the checks, and hashers - MLP and Shaggy - who use inside intelligence (sic) to short cut to the beer stop via a neighbourhood bar. Returnees included Slappa, Shaggy, Tiger, My Little Pony, Close Encounters and the Candies themselves. Loves That Shit ripped his ‘orrible shorts off to reveal ................ another pair of ‘orrible shorts underneath. He is donating them to the Hashit regalia - how thoughtful of him. Sad to say, he and Retarded Leprechaun, Sail and Nutcracker are leaving us.

The Virgins - Peter, Paul and Mary, plus Matt and Stella, came up with the usual answers, but Lesley’s “anything in front of a mirror” sent a frisson of sexual excitement around the Circle - either that or the RA had a can of insect repellent in his shorts pocket. I think we should move quickly on now to Kevin, who from henceforth will be known as RAGING TROTS - something to do with his extreme left-wing views apparently. Unusually, the Hashit was awarded to a Virgin - Paul - for taking the running and fitness part of the Hash far too seriously. The RA told him that the good news was that he would be first at the food, though he immediately had second thoughts about this, remembering some of the crap we have had to swallow on the Dar Hash. We were warned that it was spicy, so I feared that we would all have the raging trots, but in fact it was a piece of piss (perhaps not the most apposite phrase to use when describing good food - Ed). The food was great - honest - even Flatulence would have found nothing to complain about. Did I mention that the Circle ended with SLSC? - well I have now.

On On
BoB