HASH TRASH
Run No.1372 26 April 2010
Venue: Whorehouse, Haile Selassie Road
Hares: Cockroach, Easy Let
Grand Master: Cockroach
Religious Advisor: Candyman

Plenty hashers and not a few dragons pitched up breathing fire for this St George’s Hash. Sail said it was classic Msasani run. Of course, true to the spirit of our beloved GM, it did go on a bit, and we were left in the dark. I heard that the dragons had a bit of a set-to with some wild dogs, but that Easy Let shook her handbag at them and they took off. Castratus assured us all that next week’s hash will be at Spitz’s spitoon, where she will be assisted by the laconical Camp Bed. Three Bagomoyo team captains fronted up - Wet Dream (Gordon Brown), Candyman (David Cameron) and Bumtitty (Nick Clegg) - all pitching for the dubious services of two undecided, quasi-virginal, blonde harriettes aka as Alice (as she was then known) and Twitcher. Not unexpectedly, they voted for flash over gravitas (or in the case of Bumtitty - gravitarse). It was announced that Danny Boy will be playing to a full house at the George and Dragon on the 28th.

The RA took umbrage at the number of Hashers who had ignored instructions to wear something red and white, so he formed them into two teams for a boat race, that was won by Squirrel’s team. So the RA announced that Aieeeeeeeeeee’s team had won convincingly - which was just the first of the nights many travesties of justice. Returnees and departees included Mr Bombastic, Gary Glitter, Pleasure Centre and Camp Bed. Whilst most businessmen trying to impress their clients would take them for a meal and after-dinner entertainment at the Kempinski, Head Gasket bring his to the Hash - and unsurprisingly we never ever see them again - this week was no different - with three rather bemused and inappropriately dressed Yanks paraded as Virgins. Then there was some naming and shaming. Just Alice is henceforth and forever more to be referred to as WONDERLUST. There was a right stooshie about naming Anna - the RA took it into his head that her name was BIKERACK, whereas a sizeable coterie of Hashers (lead by the over-excitable, and laconically-challenged Nutcracker) claimed that it was TAKATRACKER or TAKATRAKA. The GM then tried to move on to the award of the Hashit, but he quickly capitulated in the face of “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” and re-opened the naming, to the evident disgust of the RA. So, Anna became TAKATRAKA - and the RA was nominated for hashit because of his outrageous vote rigging. The RA claimed official immunity, but the Court of Appeal (ex-GMs) squashed him flat. Nutcracker was awarded the Hashit for being completely out of order - and the GM may be looking for a new RA. The Circle ended, as it should, with SLSC.

On On
BoB