Hitlers Bunker

Hares: Bananas in PJ’s, Hitler and Shark Killer

GM: Cockroach

RA: Shaggi Haggis

Scribe: Easy Let

Time Keeper : Inspector Gadget

Cicle started its self, Nuts 4 Luv is away on summer break so for a change Castrata must be left holding the baby, any way we need more hashers to assist with hosting was the request from the GM. NWH is Santa from Canida and not the South Pole, and with Creamy come as a little helper who can blame him. Now Santa in true tradittion of giving out presents has timed his hash with Canada Day so expect surprises, but hopefully not as extreme as the bra he wears for his lumber jack song.

Shaggi started off with lost property, some doggy phones and a pongy wallet of which most belonged to Banana’s who appeared to forget how to drink a down down.

Guchi smiled his way into the circle alsong with some dejected English fans Wet Dream and Cockroach who had been sited in some awesome regal outfits at the G & D, however Shaggi not being acustom to the Taylors of Saville Road, and we are not talking sirnames here. He elected to name them the “Shites of the Square Table” luckily Merlin was away. Flatty shouted a very patriotic down down note.

Hares were back in the circle again for some serious faults with trail markings, joined by Outlaw was then caught fondling the scribes ink scaks, to which he downed some safari.

Guchi had a chicken on the run (not kuku) this was braetrhing, apparently this chicken survied the ramblings of a few hashers and just kim (one of the far two many hash dogs) this was the next item noted by second coming ” when one dog drinks all dogs drink” Is the AGPU going to be like a Cruffs show.

Returnees: welcomed back Squirrel from down under, boogy boobs, easy let who was also late to the hash

Departees: Nuts 4 Luv

Virgin’s: Fuchia from Brazil FSP - brazialian wax , Laura, Brazil FSP- Virgin, Cynthia, Brazil, FSP - does not have one, Jimmy, UK, FSP - Superman, Luke from Aus, FSP- Jack Hammer , Richard, FSP-in a lift, Amir a Dumb Dumb, FSP- wheel barrow, Betrice from Arusha, FSP should be gusher, we all get wet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rock climber was awarded hash shit for upsetting the children

Circle ended SLSC

ON ON

Hares: Inspector Gadget, Cox Dr and Second Coming

Location Jackies Bar

GM : Cockroach

RA: Shaggy Haggis

Scribe: Just Kristina

It was close to the shortest day of the year, yes you got it, we finished in the dark which really aided the lack of paper. Candyman mentioned that the hares ran off, it was long and very interesting as we meandered through the shanty del a sol (Namanga) to the beer stop. Little Dick the scribes better half (wonder if she named him ?) posted the walk to be different and lacking paper, nothing new there then, when have set a walking trail in advance ?

NWH : Hitler and Bananas in Pyjama’s from Hitlers Bunker

Second Coming gained another Down Down for a meet and greet incident, also did strap on whilst Kilidago was viewing from the tree, from the fear of dogs at the hash.

Mister miners; Takka Tracker and Sister were noted for holding hands very early on the run, Sparkle and Shark killer were posted not as lookalikes but by being of equal height, luckily Shark killer was standing on the high ground.

3 hashers were noted to have started the hash caring water, what ever next, we find hasher’s with personal trainers, (these are normal frequenting the bars to the early hours)

Then we discovered a most heinous crime, Candy Blower and Banzia had set up the Safari down downs, in side of a Tusker tent and on tusker table cloth, all they they were given down down’s they are lucky that Gary Glitter was not around.

Returnees included all three hares, a lady, Head gasket, Candy Man

Virgins: Wiilie from RSA, FSP - Spiderman (hopefully not on broadway)
Norman also a SAP, FSP any oke he can get !
Kenny from Aus, FSP - Get back (think that was the sheeps words)
Lance-a-lot from UK, FSP - Swiss Roll
Swiss Army Wife from swisland FSP - Lance-a-lot
Ester, FSP- depends on the mate
Andreas also Swiss FSP - 69
The welcome song of warm safari was sung to our new hashers.

Then we had an overdue naming of a husband and wife team just Kenny and Just Joan from Maryland, they both spoke about each other and a themes of profession, confusion and religion was duly combined.

Just Kenny - is now ” Missionary Impossible”

Just Joan - is now ” Rear Entry”

Then swiftly on to hash shit, Guchi duly de-robbed, he was in hurry to go and watch his team in the Euros,

Nominees for HS : GM, supplying a beer truck full of beer with no petrol (lame), Strap on falsely accused Candyman, should have been better halve, few others but Strap On made so much noise that she one hash shit (when will she learn

Off to food after SLSC

On On

Hash Trash 1505
11 June 2012
Candy’s Tuckbox
Hares: CandyMan, Dominatrix
GM: Cockroach
RA: Shaggy Haggis

A well-crafted run, with a few tricks and turns that mostly came off. I expected nothing less from Candyman, who, despite being, as the demographers are wont to say, broken down by age and sex, can still show some of the young thrusters a thing or too.
Dommy, whose last Hash it was, had the brilliantly bizarre idea that we should celebrate her leaving by tye-dyeing things – sadly I wasn’t allowed to tye dye the various rugrats and ankle biters that clutter up the Hash. We will miss Dominatrix (and Home Alone), not least for her map-making skills, her years of service both as Hash Harlot and Hash Cash, and being a good mate to everyone. She was given a special T-shirt that she will probably shrink into as she gets older.
As always, Shaggy had trawled up a long list of supposed miscreants, and those caught in his net this week included Wounded Knee (taking a call from the White House again) Kuchy Gucci, Twitcher, Strap-On, Quiet Night in with the Wife, Nuts for Lurve, and Head Gasket. Gary Glitter came late (but better late than early I guess) sporting a natty pair of loafers, which were duly christened with the amber nectar. Virgins included Rock Dassie (Procavia capensis to his friends), Tom, Sara, Maria and Kinky, whose FSP cannot be repeated in a family publication like the Trash. Kili’nDogo’s appalling singing was punished by being waterboarded by Twitcher. There was no shortage of candidates for Hashit: Candyman (allowing the footy to disrupt the Circle), Strap-On (for being noisy), Archangel (for breaking hearts), Bananas in Pyjamas (for taking the running too seriously) and Kuchy Gucci (for breaking RULE 2) – and surprise, surprise, it went to Kuchy Gucci. As in all the best Circles we ended with SLSC.

On On
BoB

Hash Trash run 1504 June 5, 2012

A Tuesday hash, what gives! Well in seems that many years ago, the DAR hash was always held on a Tuesday night. Then KLM decided to change their airplane landing to Monday, so the incredible genius mismanagement of the time held a secret vote (male members only) to change to Mondays as then the stewardesses from KLM would still be able to join weekly.

Hares: Wet Dreams, his dog, Cockroach

Comments on the run: Samilla; uh… BS… view really nice

Comments on the walk: BushBaby Banger; traffic, enjoyed it …. BS.

Then a note of “God save the queer” …

NWH: Candyman & Candyblower voluntold because Candyman looked so good.

First noteworthy item, from the evening of the night before known as the jubilee celebration, Fully Fitted was brought to the circle for stopping party at midnight, Candyblower for becoming VP St. Georges Society, and Wounded Knee for stripping off those Dum de dum dum shorts.

Passing over to stand-in RA “Second Coming” who was notably dressed out in full hash shit.

To celebrate the 60th anniversary of the dictator QE, with the special fireworks and a royal appearance, a royal throne appeared. Then all British male passport holders were called into the circle and a vote was held to see which of these topless specimens had the best assets which looked like the Queen’s herself. Ladies voted from: Polycarb, Head Gasket, Cockroach, Just Keith, Scareface, etc, however easily won by Wet Dreams. A special aperitif of Konyagi and Tangaowizi was then served to the new Queen with her kneeling servants around her, followed by the placing of the Safari crown on the royal head.

Returnees were called in; Rockclimber, Up in Adam, Latecomer, Bushbanger Baby, Just Keith, Headgasket’s sister in law, Grease My Shaft and EasyLet.

Virgins were then called upon such as:

Sena from Pakistan, FSP: Too many future sex years to come to get too specific

Tom from US, FSP: 3rd base

Gavin from British South Africa, FSP: Women, not handjob

Kelsey from Tanzania, FSP: haven’t figured it out yet

To help out Kelsey then, Kelsey wishboned Storekeeper from behind, and then out of the closet, Rockclimber pushes Kelsey out of the way and slips it into Storekeeper.

After that entertainment, the question “What are we drinking?” was answered by a chorus of Warm Safari song.

Lost property included Candyblower’s hat misplaced at Bagamoyo, Keys of Grease My Shaft, Fully Fitted‘s sunglasses. There was an attempted theft of Candyblower’s hat by Scareface, caught and handed sentence of kneeling in front of queen while RA talks about royal farts.

Misdemeanors: Candyman for being so well dressed in circle, Just Keith for being late and dressed in g string, Just Ru for wearing college shirt.

Just Keith again for dragging two women into a building on the trail for a quickie, however real culprit was EasyLet who wanted some action. Instead, they ended up on the Queen’s knees.

Misdirection went to Bonzai and Polycarb.

Rockclimber who had a whole 10 mins with GF before run asked for condoms and demonstrated how to be a dickhead. Scareface and Just Gavin were just failures.

An attempt at various hashers singing a particular verse had the circle in tears and the dog in the pool head under water.

Handing back to GM, Just Keith was given royal appointment and Candyman was denoted as the ambassador from Ferrero Rocher.

Candyblower stated that Wet Dreams has nice tits, such as the spice girls, so the hash’s own spice girl lookalikes Bushwacker Baby and Nuts4Luv were toasted.

Special thanks given to those sticky finger hashers Candyblower and Fully Fitted for the decorations.

Hash shit had plenty of enthusiastic appeal with nominees:

By Wet dreams: Fully Fitted for playing golf all day

By Candyman: Second coming for wearing hash shit so well and something about rugby (Scots beat Auz)

By Second Coming: Bananas in Pyjamas for pouring coke on hash shit

By Strapon: Second Coming stuffing sock down briefs

By Candyblower: Second Coming for pink thing hanging out

Obviously Second Coming was awarded the hash’s highest honor and not to be outdone, Rockclimber happily put on the hash shit. The liquids started to fly everyway so Singing in the Rain Arusha style started to keep everything flowing and my notes getting wet.

Virgins called back into the circle and a chorus of Swing Low Sweet Chariot belled. On-On to the food.

Santa

Hares: Castrato, Nuts 4 love, U Shagger
GM: Cockroach
RA: Gary glitter and Second coming

Fully fitted said the run was well organized forgetting he isn’t in one of his British diplomatic Meetings where he has to be full of gas to try and fit in

Hash dance talked about a wedding and cancer, an odd combination but a more hashy description of the walk

There is going to be a vote about NWH which will be as democratic as everything else concerning the Queen, check this space and hopefully you will receive an update before it happens.

Centre fold provided some entertainment singing in Swedish and jumping about froggily

Then there was something about our RA being in Mwanza and the guest RAs came on and enjoyed the attention or lack of...

There were a few virgins: Abdul, Tz, Advertising Dar and he didn’t understand the question but he was desperate anyway.
Then there was this person who came with Creamy cum, London, anything with fiancée and then the fiancé called Ru likes doggy.
Ben, London, Fully fitted, Backwards
Deepak, India, Slumdog, his hand
Manisha, Ghana, husband, 69
The husband-Nick, land of kamasutra, kamasutra
Samira, Kenya, Head gasket, doggy

Hash shit: Second coming who had it coming (I had to say that!)

SLSC

Food

On on
Shark killer

Run No: 1502

Date  : Mon 21st May
Venue : Fully Fitted’s Castle
Hosts: Fully Fitted
Hares : Dominatrix & Hoochie Gucci
GM : CockRoach
RA : ShaggyHaggis

RUN/WALK
In Shagger and Nurse Ratchets words ‘ It was a Immense, long and hard’
NWH will be hosted by Nutz For Love somewhere with yet another blue,
red and white American theme for Memorial Day. Dress code is
mandatory.

The RA started the circle with a lot of unclaimed valuables, which he
had held on to before anyone got a chance to claim them back. The
most prized one being Dominatrix’s penis that was worth about 20000.
He then went on to have a footie match more specifically a Chelsea
re-enactment from the weekend. Akul the Goalie didn’t have to work
hard to save Outlaw’s headed ball as he missed by a mile. Interesting
enough a basket ball was used instead of a football.
They were many returnees including Banana in Pajamas who actually
returned from a holiday from Somali Land. The Hash Shit is
officially back Jesus claimed that its an old hash tradition to steal
the hash shit and take it to another countries hash. Strap On who got
called in for having a chance to bring it back earlier from Kampala
and didn’t claimed she didn’t as it was under Jesus’s Loo. It was
agreed that Jesus would return the hash shit for his cooler that was
safely sitting in Up and Adams Kitchen. Lastly there was a fancy ice
chair noticed late in the circle the RA decided to use it for an ice
Ménage à trois and had Shaft Climber sandwiched in between Inspector
Gadget and Up and Adam, he loved it so much he decided to turn it into
an ice orgy and got himself and another hasher on top of the action.

Virgins: Finny the Pooh from Finland said her FSP was ummm.....Hell
Stinky also from Finland said his FSP was anything with his wife and
Tamara from Tanzania said her FSP was on top.
The GM came back to narrate a story about how ‘PosH Tanzanian Boxer’
came to BAgamoyo with his driver who he first said was his brother and
some hashers who had no idea who he was were chanting mwizi as he
returned to Boxers car after reliving himself in the bush....
Special Guests for the Hash where Drain Oil and Akul. Drain Oil being
one of only 3 hashers to have been to every interhash. Hash Respect

Hash Shit:
We actually had our very on Hash Strip Club as Jesus de-robed the Hash
shit and got all the way down into his knickers, quite a few heads
turned as they was fear of him pulling his knickers down too.
Strap on for wearing the Hash Sarong the wrong way round and not
bringing back the hash shit earlier
Pantsy Pockets for making the walk very long. Sharkiller & Umbilical
for running of into the Bush again. Unanimously it went to Strap on.

Fully Fitted was truly a Hash Hero and served everyone Gin & Tonics on
his Patio in honour of the Queen as we waited for and truly
scrumptious dinner.

To wrap up it was supposed to be a British Hash hosted by an American
(Fully Fitted) with some help from an Italian (Hoochie Gucci), there
was a small soccer game played with an American Basketball, there was
plenty of delicious American style food (was absolutely yummy) the
only British part about it was the Gin & Tonics which were much
appreciated. Looking forward to an ‘American Hash Next Week’ On On

Hash Trash 1501
14 May 2012
Twitcher’s Nest
Hares: Cockroach, Twitcher, Wet Dream
GM: Cockroach
RA: Shaggy Haggis

Under a threatening sky, a select group of hashers, still a bit hungover from the weekend, took part in this unremarkable, but not unappreciated, Hash around familiar streets of the Peninsula. NWH will be at Fully Fitted’s Palace. Canapes and Pimms will be served on the lawn, but don’t forget the bugg spray.
Desperate led us in an inspired version of the traditional kids song … “Oh yer canna shove yer Shaggy, Yer canna shove yer Shaggy, Yer canna shove yer Shaggy off the truck…….He will be rushing doon the hill when he’s stuck.” This wouldn’t have meant much to Fully Fitted, Polycarb, and Puffdog Millionaire who didn’t pitch up for the Bagomoyo Relay – and were duly punished. We were then diverted into a fruitless search for spare wombs. It was alleged that Twitcher had been knocked up by PuffDog Millionaire. CandyBlower was said to be a loose (T) woman. Visitors included Swollen Colon, Just Eileen, Blind Doug, On Top and Bottom Chief. We all had a bit of a gurgle on hearing that a Virgin called Isabelle Necessary on a Bicycle claimed that her FSP was 30m underwater. There was a scrappy line-up of candidates for Hashit, and eventually it went to Panty Pockets, who after over-dosing on Savanna, had been trying to flog tickets for some Jock Fest at the weekend. The Circle ended with Swing Low Sweet Chariot.

On On
BoB

Hash Trash 1499
12 May 2012
Started: Sister Belinda’s place
Ended: Palm Beach Resort, Bagamoyo
Hares: Wet Dream, Boogie Boobs
GM: Cockroach
RA: Shaggy Haggis
Over 100 odd hashers, including aliens from as far away as New Zealand, gathered at the crack of dawn for the start of the annual Bagomoyo Relay. Five teams took part – the much-fancied Wet Dream Team, the Dum Dums, the Ginger Nuts, the Candy Rastas, and the BumTitties. Each team had cyclists, walkers and runners. The oldest was 75 and the youngest was 4. 21 legs in total (4 cycle legs, 4 walking legs, and 13 running legs – totalling 61.3km).
And at 8 O’clock (only half an hour adrift at that stage) the first runners were off……straight into the mud. The long convoy of cars (Chelsea tractors mostly, but also a state-of-the-art Shaggin Wagon) set off behind the GM who immediately took a wrong turn – which he later claimed was a deliberate ploy to get drivers to practice their three-point turns in deep mud. Legs came and went so to speak, and then it pissed down big time. Breakfast was a soggy affair. Shaggy was desperate to show off the brand new Shaggin Wagon, which he had borrowed on the pretext of demonstrating it to all those hashers who are in the market for a 200 grand truck, and he took it up a hill where no truck driver had been daft enough to go before… and it got stuck.
Lunch was all ready for us at Centrefold’s works canteen, and how appetising it looked – only two little problems…..no plates and no cutlery. After much farting around (the defining experience of all Bagomoyo Relays) and only an hour or so adrift from plan (Plan ! there was a plan?, Ed) the runners set off uphill (what a bummer!) into a long, wet afternoon of bush-bashing. The kids put in some amazingly fast times on their leg, so much so that Nurse Ratched, who was the designated paramedic for the leg, couldn’t keep up and dropped out. By this time it was getting dark, and we were so far adrift time-wise that desperate and decisive action needed to be taken if we were not to be benighted in the African bush – so after only 30 minutes of discussion it was decided to do a walking leg. The subsequent drive through the night to the resort was much like a hash itself…. with several false trails, short-cuts, people getting lost …but everyone made it eventually.
The Circle was a rather subdued affair as everyone was cream-crackered. Kilin’dogo and Creamy Cum were in trouble for watering the trail – as if it wasn’t wet enough already. SharkKiller had been whingeing about being forced to drink Warm Safari Down Downs, but when she was given a vodka to drink she threw it all on the floor. You get the picture. Virgins included Christina, Little Dick, Just Amy, Georgina, and Just Chlamydia, but they were too woebegone to remember their FSPs (Favourite Sexual Positions ). The Hashit went to Shaggy again. And the results of the Relay were:
1st Dum Dum team (captained by Wounded Knee) 291.36 minutes
2nd Candy Rastas (captained by CandyMan) 297.06 minutes
3th The Ginger Nut Cases (captained by Rock Climber) 306.95 minute
4th BumTitties (captained by BumTitty himself) 317.06 minutes
5th Wet Dream Team (captained by Wet Dream) 321.24 minutes
It was the first time in 10 years that the organiser’s team (Wet Dream who else?) hadn’t won. I wonder why? Wounded Knee attributed success to his fast women ….if only his wife and kids hadn’t kept popping up all the time. There was a skit I’m told, but more of that tomorrow. And hashers trooped off to bed – and mostly to their own beds I think, as after a day like that sleep was the most powerful urge.

Hash Trash 1500
13 May 2012
Venue: Bagamoyo
Hares: Wet Dream, Second Coming, Shaggy Haggis
GM: Cockroach
RA: Shaggy Haggis
It was a cracking Hash, with something for everyone. We kicked off through the hysterical parts of Old Bagomoyo with a little lecher at each check. Hordes of five-year old kids shouting On On effortlessly overtook the decrepit Hashers and raced ahead. At one point Gary Glitter (who cares about these things) noticed that the image on Lady Frankenstein’s new T-shirt was off to one side …BagoBones claimed that it looked like that because her breasts were off-centre, but sadly there was no time for an undercover investigation, as the front-runners were calling ‘On On to the Caravanserai’. We then headed up the road to see where Livingstone’s heartless corpse spent the night – not many laughs there then. And whose bright idea was it to have the beer stop in the Mission church car park in the middle of Morning Service? It was a short trudge from there to the Mission’s sewage ponds, and, as we plowtered through Holy Shit, Pissholes was heard to say “This is real Hashing – this is what you come to Africa for” (praise indeed.. from him).
This time the Circle was a much more upbeat affair. Totally unstructured free form stuff verging on complete incoherence. So, in no particular order:
We sang Hashy Birthday to WheelChair who was 65 years young on that day, as well as Gary Glitter who is forever stuck in the ‘50’s – the 1950’s. Hitler and Mr Bombastic had been out clubbing in the Bagomoyo red light district – which is pretty much the whole district really. Just Amy had left her blouse behind. Wounded Knee, Candyman and Shaft Climber were in trouble for feeling up Santa. Chunderwoman was given a wheel cover. War and Peace sang “Germans have no sense of humour – HAHA HAHA HA’. Gary Glitter was mocked for having a long, wet ride with his three D-cup concubines- Desperate, Dr Cox, and Dominatrix. Higgins plugged the Brussels Interhash 2014 (a number of Dar hashers signed up – see www.interhash2014.com ). Shaggy bravely ‘came out’ with his special friend John, who said nothing, grinned a lot, and crossed his legs to avoid wetting himself (a common consequence of drinking Safari apparently). Pissholes was honoured for having the chutzpah to get a hot date with a local woman at one of the checks. War and Peace washed his trainers in the swimming pool. Santa and Weeny Schnitzel were down downed for falling arse over tit, and Wounded Knee joined them. Second Coming had come across two pairs of balls on the trail and he asked four sexperts – Cox Dr, Just Amy, Slappa, and Creamy Cum to have a feel and identify which Hashers they belonged to – a task which they performed with obvious relish. PantyPockets had been feeling men’s bums as they got down from the truck. Kilin’dogo was hailed as a Hash Hero for his untiring quest to avoid Hashers becoming thirsty. He was joined for his down down by two other precocious kids, Sparkle and SharkKiller. CandyMan was awarded the Hashit for putting on the worst skit – or was it for trying too hard?
And:
The Fastest Cyclist was Inspector Gadget
The Fastest Walker was Higgins
The Fastest Runner was Umbilical
The Captain of the winning Dum Dums Team was given a commemorative plate that read ” IST 2011” – doesn’t that speak volumes for the competence of the Hash Mismanagement.
The weather could have been kinder, but it was a hugely enjoyable event. Many many people put in a lot of time and effort to make it happen, but none more so than our Grand Master, Cockroach, who is truly a Hash Hero.
On On
BoB

Hash Trash 1498
7 May 2012
Hitler’s Bunker
Hares: Hitler, Banzai, Dominatrix
GM: Cockroach
RA: Shaggy Haggis

It seemed very fast to me. The days when I could shamble along at the back in bad company - Mr Sh**hole, Wet Dream, Ripper et al – seem to be long gone. It was alleged that the walking Hare, Dominatrix, abandoned her flock of sheep at the beer stop, and flocked off, so to speak – so much for her being in loco parentis.
NWH is full to bursting – we are leaving Hotel Belinda at 07.30 sharp on the Saturday morning – and we won’t wait for latecummers. Mismanagement may issue some advice along the lines of : wear sensible shoes, clean underwear in case you get knocked down, sunscreen, hat (but not in the Circle), bugg spray. If you want to see how the team selection is ‘fixed’ come along to Thai Village at 7pm on Friday. You will also get first pick of the foreign ‘singles’.
Amazed that Cox Dr was given a bottle of vodka for being the first to buy one of the new ‘coutured’ T-shirts - that lift, separate ….and drop after the first washing. There was a lot of hanky panky going on behind the trees….Aieeee with Queasy Queasy, and Strap On with her toy boy. BagOBones and Panty Pockets were named ‘Oldest swingers in town.’ So many returnees, including the long lost Slappa, as well as Night Rider, Cuchy Gucci, PuffDog Millionaire, Quiet Night in with the Wife, Aieeee, and Gary Glitter. Gary was in his element – partaking his own product from the Triple in very close company with two sweaty Harriettes. Virgins included Barbarian and Pond Scum from some God-forsaken speck in the ocean, and the Archangel from Cape Town – but sadly there was nothing uplifting about their FSPs. Candidates for Hashit included Shaggy, Gary Glitter, Strap-On, Wounded Knee and his Nurse, ……and it went to Shaggy for reasons which my notebook is silent on. And when everyone had almost lost hope of ever seeing their homes again, the Circle came to an end when SLSC was forced on it by reform-minded hashers.

On On
BoB

Hash Trash 1497
23 April 2012 – Queens Day Hash
Valhalla
Hares: Cockroach, Rock Climber, CandyBlower
GM: Cockroach
RA: Shaggy Haggis

Everyone was supposed to wear something in honour of the Dutch Queen, but trust RockClimber to go to extremes and dye his hair orange. Fashionistas like SharkKiller refused to wear orange because it didn’t go with her plus-fours (sic). Miserable conditions for a Hash - it was ‘smirrin’ and I feared my hair would go frizzy, but there were more arrows than in Custer’s horse, so no-one got lost. When asked to give an account of what had gone on, Wounded Knee said it was wet and slippery, and he also found the run rather muddy. Boogie Boobs commended the walk for the opportunities it gave to stock up on Luku.

The GM told us that NWH will be from Dr Cox’s couch, but he was talking through his ‘R’s as usual – it’s from Hitler’s bunker. The Annual Bagomoyo Mudfest takes place on 12 / 13 of this month, so sign up now to avoid the last-minute rush. Nuts$lurve won’t be there because Castrato is whisking her off for a romantic weekend in Chalinze (if he thinks she will forgive him as easily as that he’s got another think coming). Apropos of wayward spouses, Boogie Boobs was invited to choose two new husbands, so she picked out Fester, Boxer and Shaggy Haggis – proving once and for all that she has neither taste nor numeracy. I will pass quickly over various absurdities (SharkKiller as a Nasty Pasty lookalike? c’mon, get real) and arrive at the exploits of our extreme sports specialist, RockClimber – he ingested 17 of the 24 shooters on offer in the G&D Drink and Vomit Challenge before throwing up the towel. Beaten by a girl! The RA fingered Banzai, Rock Climber, Head Gasket and Candyman for various misdemeanours, and they were all made to take their down downs with a vile-looking / tasting chaser. The only Virgin looked anything but pure and untouched, and the RA let him duck out of answering the all-important question. Boogie Boobs nominated Wet Dream for Hashit, and the justice of this was recognised by everyone present without her having to spell out the reasons. And so it came to pass. And the Circle ended with the singing of the traditional anthem.

On On
BoB