Friday 2 November 2007
Run: 1228
Venue : Arabella’s golf driving range, Chole Road
Hosts : LateCummer and BothWays
Walking Hare : WetDream

The Halloween hash - or no moon hash - or full moon hash - no one seemed sure what it was, but ghoulish and witchy costumes were in abundance amongst the forty or fifty attendees.
The delayed start to the walk allowed for a few extra beers - especially knowing that no running would be expected - and good use was made of the opportunity. In fact beer cans or wine bottles were much in evidence at all times, even when arriving at the beer stop, and replenished before moving on after a spirited version of the Rocky Horror Picture Show’s ‘Lets do the time warp again’ led by Suzy and the GM. Various impromptu check points allowed a quick Masaai dancing lesson (bit like kangaroos really, made the ozzies feel at home mate).
In the meantime Arabellas building site had been fired up with braais and BBQs and the RA organised party games such as brrrroooom stick racing, apple dunking and a spaghetti eating competition with bats blood sauce ... yum.
Non appearance of the promised sound system did briefly cause some concern, but Frozen Scrotum to the rescue with the beermobile doors left open and the trusty car stereo boosted to full volume worked a treat.

Due to over indulgence by most of the pack, no one remembered to actually have a circle, and so we started on the food as it came off the grills ... washed down with a small tipple when the saliva stopped flowing .. and the evening deteriorated into eating and drinking ... did I say deteriorated .. well I can think of worse ways to go ... bananas and rum and maple syrup to round off the gastronomy.

See you on Monday at 999 Kahama.

ON ON

eSquire L
for the DHHH

Monday 29 October 2007
Run: 1227
Host : Friar Tuck at his monastery on Old Bagamoyo Road
Running Hares: BothWays and Boxer
Walking Hares : Frozen Scrotum and LateCummer

Before we started, the run was advertised by Bothways as the shortest and most check pointed in hash history. Even the GM was so encouraged that he was seen to not just run, but front run (although yes that was an aberration after yet another successful short cut). As the pack followed trail across Mikocheni’s slowly drying sewage ponds the opportunity for mud pack skin treatment and heavy metal absorption was shunned by most, but Squirrel took advantage from the knees downwards after valiantly checking a false trail and then attempting to sprint across the crust to regain contact with the pack. Unaccountably he was given a wide berth and ran in a noticeable gap in the pack until the garden hose came into service back at the venue (having been seen looking pensively at the swimming pool, he was firmly redirected to the hose).

However the small hashers were out in numbers and the pool was indeed put to grand service as a kids corral, with the advantage of the splashing noises usefully covering from tender ears the odd unsuitable phrase uttered in the nearby circle.

It having been a fast (short??) trail, even allowing for the beer stop, WetDream only opened the circle about the time the second refreshing ale was beginning to run dry. Boxer was in trouble for his car alarm, and NeanderShorter (who proved to be good at car alarm impersonations) got to join in as well.

FriarTuck was next to gain the GM’s notice, as he was the host but had managed to delegate all functions except driving the beer truck, and all four hares received the appropriate degree of enthusiasm for their efforts on the trail, and seemed to think they had done good !

Announcements started with LateCummer finally being in a position, after months of prevarication, to advertise the full moon/no moon/halloween run - dah dah de dah - it will be on Friday 2 November at Arabella’s golf driving range at 7pm, there will be a single walk/run en mass, you are to be ‘spooky’, and the cost is Tsh15000 per head including dinner.

Trailmaster Boxer followed with next Mondays run, to be hosted by Bag’o’Bones from 999 Kahama Road (near the Chole Road speed bumps).

MrShi’ole got in there for meandering through the sewage whilst in parental mode with Potty - he claimed that being in parental mode was his excuse ?? - before the GM handed over the circle to our very own RA BothWays, who immediately took her T shirt off. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but BothWays has recently been keen to get her kit off in the circle - not that we’re complaining mind - but one does wonder at her ability to maintain the necessary air of priestessly purity and dignity whilst swinging her clobber around her head ? Oh well, at least the views a lot better than if MrS or other guest RA’s did it. Perhaps we should consider making disrobing a traditional and essential part of the RA’s spot ... and then selectively pick guest RAs ... hmm ... enough ...

The theme for the RA was turds and all such recycled stuff, and she professed to sadly miss Dancing Lemon Turd so called in TinySausage as a lookalike, and Jesus ability to walk on fluids would have been a benefit (LateCummer as the stand in), and of course you can’t have a tur(gi)d conversation without MrSh’ole himself so he was also back for another Safari.

The RA’s role is to censor those who break the hash rules (so she said) and to make the point she and HeadGasket had conjured a ditty about Squirrel shortcutting into the shit and MrS being one too, to the tune of ‘Loo, Loo, Skip to my loo’. Unsurprisingly the words had not been much amended, but the circle enjoyed the spirited rendition and joined in. Attention was also drawn to the presence of the ‘Song Mattress’ NastyPasty and demand made for further choral opportunities in the future.

A few reprobates without hash T shirts were punished by forced dressing with a proper T shirt by other hashers, and subsequent removal for the next in line (she does have a thing about taking clothes off, she must have) and a couple of virgins trembled in the circle through it all, agog with concern at their potential fate, only to be joined by further sinners who had been spotted by the eagle eyed RA, either leaning or stretching on the circumference of the gathering. All this somehow led into a group exercise class to ‘Father Abraham’ with his seven sons, and a round of ‘Warm Safari’ to follow it up, so we did get plenty of singing anyway.

To round off the event the South African front row returned to the circle with the hash shit regalia, and despite a few putrid conciliatory attempts at alternative nominations who received hardly a murmur of support, Squirrel was acclaimed as this weeks worthy winner for brave and dignified forebearance in the face of social ostracism on the run, selfless denial of the pool on return, and generally being a fine fellow in all ways. (If you have an alternative view of this eSquire L offers to relinquish his role as an unbiased and faithful recorder of history as he sees it, and you can take up the pen.)

Did I mention the food yet ? The GM having completed the formalities and capped them with the hash hymn, the hash shit was persuaded against his better judgement to partake of fine food in order that the others may eat as well ... and it was good ...especially with that one more beer available because the beer truck was staying put.

So, don’t forget Friday at Arabella’s, or Monday at 999 Kahama.

ON ON

eSquire L
for the DHHH

Monday 22 October 2007
Run: 1226
Venue: Dar es Salaam Yacht Club beach banda
Running Hares: Squirrel and Boxer
Walking Hare: LateCummer

The tide was out but no one noticed as a large pack gathered in the beach banda for the best entertainment of the week. Boxer even donned his running gear for the first time in many hashs, and acted sheep dog to the pack of eighteen runners as they winged their way around a superbly marked trail (unbiased assessment from your scribe) encompassing the scenic shoreline of Seacliff and the rustic rubbish dumps and enthralling back lanes of the peninsula.
Walkers chatted happily of all things hashy and were a milling crowd totally obscuring the beer truck when the runners rounded the corner for refreshment, and the Yacht Club security staff were totally bemused by the unusual number of self propelled persons returning to their gate.

Cooling breezes and an unusually large crowd gave every exuse to stand and catch up on other peoples doings, but GM WetDream called the circle to order quickly so as to fulfil the South African contingent’s dreams and invite them in to show off their unusual green and gold rugby shirt ‘hash T shirts’. Apparently they had recently won a rugby game or two somewhere in France - did you hear anything about that ?? Anyway, with true British acceptance of defeat, WD had the surrounding circle sing a few lines of the immortal ‘Swing Low’ (which doubles up as the Englsh rugby anthem in case you are unaware) whilst NastyPasty taunted the Springbok front row by dancing around in fromt of them with a red and white St George’s flag.

Announcements continued with RentBoy claiming his keys from the valuables box, helped by F’ing Nobody and FatBastard; LateCummer being still unable to define when or where his mythical halloween event is to be arranged - apparently the village museum are not keen on hashers running around their grounds after the venue is closed ?? And not to be left out, the MisManagement Committee will meet on Thursday at 7pm in “our house” as the GM so politically correctly put it. BoogieBoobs deigned to join him for a Safari as he had been soooo polite.

The RA, her holiness BothWays, was in our midst (having sneeked in to the beerstop, being a trifle tardy herself) and seemed to be feeling the cold as she was visibly wearing multiple kangas and T shirts and possibly additional items. Her claims of overdressing to protect her good name caused hoots of derision from some unmannered souls - OK everyone - and her subsequent harrassment of poor innocent virgins, by inciting them to choose clothing for her to remove, did little to uphold the concept of BothWays and shy being in the same language. Mother Immoral got into the picture as the circle broke into ‘Oh Sir Jasper’ to accompany BothWays in hip swinging gyrations, and F’ing Nobody showed up again, but I can’t explain why. There were only six virgins so WetDream suggested someone run up to the bar and find some more as BothWays still had some clothes. And ‘Ou est le papier’ got in there somewhere as well.

Multiple returnees (I counted nine) owned up to various putrid excuses for having absconded from the previous run(s), and someone was silly enough to announce they had been to a well known northern Tanzanian town, giving the necessary excuse for a contortionists convention as WetDream led Arushashasha in the rain.

Being a busy big businessman with lots on his mind it was totally understandable that the GM had forgotten to mention the hares earlier, and the jeers of old age and altzheimers had no relevance and would have been ignored, except that the venue and host for next weeks run was also missed. I know you’re desperate to find out, after reading of the enthralling exploits you missed this week, so FriarTuck will be hosting us at his monastic residence along Old Bagamoyo Road. But before you groan at the thought of the traffic, its not even as far as Garden Road - plot 352A, marked with large white numbers, with a black and white kerb outside, and next door to Fontanellas.

I understnd that the South African brigade pride themselves on braaing stuff, as well as playing rugby ... so lets see if they can improve on the rations served up at the YC.

ON ON

eSquire L
Chief Recycling Administrative Person (CRAP) for the DHHH

Hash Scribbles 1225 - October 15th 2007

The circle got underway with the stand-in scribe totally unprepared. Up’Skirt was called into the circle for a down down for her forgetfulness after which Park’n’Ride assisted Up’Skirt with much needed pen and paper with which to perform her scribe duties. Park’N’Ride and Spare (as a Boxer look alike) were called into the circle for being this week’s hares. Ben called the run “windy” and Horny Goat’s comment for the walk was that the “GM is always right”. Is Horny Goat sucking up to the GM or is she just full of BS? Perhaps both. Captain Skidmark said, “What a load of Rubbish.”

Announcements

• There is a special run around Halloween. Late’Comer tells us that the run will be held at Museum Village but was not quite sure of the date. It was determined after some discussion that it will be held some date around November 2nd-6th. He chose 4 hashers which would look good at a grave yard and those hashers included Head Gasket, Captain Skidmark, Horny Goat and Boogie Boobs. Hooray

During this point, the GM remarked that this circle’s singing was pathetic and lame and had Frozen Scrotum choose 3 people who needed to improve; Slappa, Park’n’Ride and someone whose name is illegible on my notes agreed to try harder.

• Mismanagement meeting is not this week.

• Ben and Sifa forgot to collect their keys so they will be having to walk home.

Religious Advisor Time
Head Gasket was acting RA

• Returnees were brought in the circle.

- Slappa was entertaining her parents but wouldn’t show us how
- Tanya was somewhere else
- Nasty Pasty was taking a break from the strong Texas influence
- Boogie Boobs was in Glasgow
- Spare was freezing
- Willy and Slimy Bastard were both at the beach

• There was quite a bit of alcohol abuse in this weeks circle. It is a hash offense.

• Virgins included Gavin, from Zimbabwe and brought by Slimy Bastard, Gary, from the UK working for Head Gasket, Mikaela, from UK whom Park’N’Ride made come. The virgins were given a quite lengthy history lesson from Head Gasket on the significance of warm safari and then we concluded the lesson with the song.

• Ben did not wear a hash T-Shirt for which he had absolutely no excuse.

• We celebrated visitors who had hashed before in far away lands and those included, Kim, Wurzel, Cynthia and Daniel.

• It was announced that Head Gasket and Captain Skidmark would host next week’s run at the horrible inn, but I suspect these plans and venue were recently changed per the recent email.

• Hash Shit was given to Park’N’Ride for forgetting to bring the gear. Her offense superseded the other nominees which included Spare for shooting two moose and not bringing any meat, Boogie Boobs for not bringing Stilton cheese, and Mr. Bombastic for looking particularly good in the gear. Park’N’Ride’s punishment was that she has to preserve her phallic flower she collected on the walk for all of eternity.

On on

Monday 8 October 2007
Run: 1224
Host: RentBoy at the Millenium Towers Hotel, New Bagamoyo Road
Running Hares: RentBoy, Bago’Bones
Walking Hare: PantyPockets

Personally directed parking arrangements, the most salubrious of surroundings, and not a wimper from the staff as we invaded the most up-market hotel environs in the area .... and a free T shirt too boot ... not to mention the great grub ... you won’t get value like this very often ... and you missed it did you?? Yah boo shucks.

In our splendid new glossy white T shirts, a good turn out of hashers set off for a well marked and varied trail to comments of ‘makes a change from the peninsula’. And it did. The beer stop was popular and well attended (the walkers moved out as the runners steamed in) and the runners even had a long or short option afterwards, promoted by RentBoy as a cheetahs or chickens choice .. buaak buk buk back went three of the pack, leaving the svelte slinky specimens to run in (well OK there were a couple of less svelte ones - more stinky than slinky).

Having paraded through the main lobby in our aromatic state, we took over the third storey outdoor pool deck, with great views of the traffic jammers attempting to go home, and a gentle cooling breeze wafting our choral attempts upwards as they bounced off all the glass on the hotel towers above. Good acoustics.
Get on with it will you

The GM began with TinySausage and HornyGoat for chatting; moved swiftly through the hares; had HeadGasket in with HornyGoat again (apparently he couldn’t recognise her with her clothes on .. three times .. which is what TS and HornyG were talking about to start with); moved on to PussyWhipped for dismembering the T shirt he’d just bought to make a singlet when he could have bought a singlet in the first place; realised the potential and had all the septics in to sing the song with the hard words .. dum, dum, dum de dum; on the subject of T shirts had Capt Skidmark, Captains Cabin and Frozen Scrotum in for not wearing their free T shirts; and moved swiftly on to Park’n’Ride as the host of next weeks run (but she didn’t know where it will be !!).
Quick enough ?

As Hash Ass. Everything, NeanderShorter took on the RA role ‘cos poor BothWays had got her leg scratched over the weekend .. and we aren’t asking who by. Having ranted on and on about how he’s unfairly accused of ranting on and on, NS brought in CaptSkidmark and the CaptainsCabin to display her wounded ankle to independent witnesses; Sifa and Ben and Alililili...ya and John for fronting up at the circle without even the vaguest pretence at athletic endeavour; Molly from Ohio, and Gordon from Texas as virgins, accompanied by John ‘cos no one remembers when he last showed up, if ever; the returnees Park’n’Ride, F’ingNobody, UpSkirt, CaptSkid’ and Capt’sCabin completed the role call.

HashShit last week was Bago’Bones and he did run in the skirt, although the negligee and honourable seat were sadly missing on the trail, yet magically appeared for the circle. He proved the cutting honesty of hash names by disrobing and hence displaying the frame beneath. New nominations began when Bo’B accused TinySausage of sprinting away from the checks; PussyWhipped was proposed for being so dumb dum de dum with his T shirt; PantyPockets suggested WetDream for extending the walk past the stinky ponds; WD countered by proposing PP for NOT leading the walk past the .... ; and WD had a second bite with UpSkirt for not understanding why the GM should be immune to such low tricks as nominating him for HashShit.
In the interests of fair play, NeanderShorter conducted the voting by volume, and TinySausage was this weeks winner with PussyWhipped as a close runner up.

It all went swiftly because the buffet was ready and saliva dripping for the hoped for feast, and I heard no complaints as the dishes of steaks and salads and potatoes and rice and steamed veges and roast chicken were attacked with vigour .. accompanied by the usual cleansing ale or three.

General consensus = GOOD RUN and thanks.

See you next week at ........ the venue to be announced ....... and give Park’n’Ride an opportunity to show her stuff.

ON ON

eSquire L
Trasher for the DHHH

Monday 1 October 2007
Run: 1223
Venue: Lora International Restaurant and Pub
Running Hares: Tiny Sausage and Bombastic
Walking Hares: Sifa

Oh poor me, am I in a bad mood now. And even poorer you ‘cos you’ve missed out on such a fantastic treatise. AND it’s all your fault, ‘cos if you’d been there I wouldn’t be doing this at all, let alone rewriting it after the computer just eat the first magnificent version. Can someone please invent a computer that doesn’t crash at he first twinge of whatever - OK so pencil and paper don’t, but I’m not about to write it out twenty five times and hand deliver.

Clears throat, sits up straight, flexs fingers
The curse of Mikocheni has come up before, and yet again some wimps obviously decided that the traffic was too much, so they stayed in the office to be smarmy to the boss. In reality even the GM made it on time so it CANNOT have been bad.

The FRB long striding hares had set a typical Kenyan run with some enormous legs between checkpoints and when GM WetDream called the circle to order SlimyBastard was asked to comment on the walk (lousy etc etc but he hasn’t actually set one himself yet) and RentBoy noted that the run was long, long, very long, and had he mentioned that it was long as well?

RentBoy returned to the circle immediately, as the host for next weeks run from the pool deck of the Millenium Towers Hotel on the New Bagamoyo Road. Apparently the security staff will be instructed to allow riffraff and neerdowells through the hallowed portals, and parking is available. The unusually dry nature of the circle at the Lora Pub (not a touch of pool water to be felt) may possibly be accounted for by WetDreams wet T shirt predeliction being postponed to the Millenium pool? This is a new venue so obviously the management will be out to grab the attention and impress the influential trend setters who make up our select company, so it could be a good one?

The final announcement was for the proposed halloween run to be organised by LateCummer. With true attention to detail the date has been set as somewhere between the 31 October and 5 November, and venue is to be advised, so you can make a firm arrangement to be there. In LCs absence the obvious lookalike was HeadGasket (despite claims that he had paid his taxes LAST year) and he inveigled NastyPasty into the centre to share his dismay.

Toe nail touch ups, or Him-a-laying retreats, caused Bothways to absent herself, but the MrShi’‘ole took on the mantle of lorebearer, educator and disciplinarian without fear or favour, starting with a newly returned beermaster. FrozenScrotum had positioned the beerstop downwind from a burning rubbish pile and tenuous links were made between third world smoking and first world bans, but FS chose Sifa as the person he would most like to give up smoking in bed with??; RentBoy was back again for dropping out of the run at the beerstop with claims of a blister; and Rich for the same sin AND he claimed the same blister??: Squirrel was taken to task for a brief nap at Bunny’s bash on Saturday night; and NastyPasty extolled some linkage between parliamentary candidates, quantities of hair and Algeciras - you really have to be there to follow this sort of logic - and a few Kili’s help.

Our only visitor was Seppo from Finland via Uganda; but we had two virgins: BJ from Portugal (but born in Dar); and Suzy from bonnie Scotland via Nairobbery. We actually had a third virgin (Lucy from London) but she had a better offer for a free feed so sloped off after the run promising to come again next week. MrS and the choir educated the guests with a round of ‘Warm Safari’ - both liquid and vocal.

WetDream called NastyPasty into the centre to divest herself of clothing and explain why she should not remain HashShit. With some desperate quick thinking on her part she nominated Tiny Sausage for having no hair to pull out; FrozenScrotum was proposed for the beerstop; Bag’o’Bones for a servicing so poorly done that PantyPockets asked MrS to check out all her parts; Rich for catching a beertruck ride back; and SlimyBastard for walking so slowly that he slowed down the walk??. The GM’s idea of democratic voting quickly dispensed with TS and SB, but a brief recount of decibel metering had BoB donning the miniskirt with ease, but an understandable reluctance to put on BeggingForIt’s negligee without a prior demonstration form her.

The RA had a swift reprise (his memory’s not so good apparently) and Ben was down downed for late arrival; Thom and Rich for getting lost on their powerful steeds on the way to the venue and being herded in by the GM; and WetDream for stumbling over the haberdashery bag as he left the house but still failing to actually bring it with him when we could have sold five T shirts.

Generally ‘Swing Low’ with virgins etc marks the end of the proceedings, but bonnie Suzy took umbrage at singing an English rugby supporters song, so WetDream and MrS led the singing of some dreary Scottish rugby supporters dirge to show we are not at all biased, whilst she entertained by bobbing around in a sword dance over the crossed Kili cans.

See you next week at the magnificent Millenium Towers and give RentBoy more blisters whichever way turns you on on on.

ON ON

eSquire L
Rubbish Purveyor to the DHHH

Sigh of relief all round

Monday 24 September 2007
Run: 1222
Venue: Valhalla banda, Valhalla Estate
Running Hares: Bunny and NeanderShorter
Walking Hares: BeggingForIt and Mother Immoral

First an ackowledgement for provision of paper and pen to your scribe. I was specifically required to admit in writing that fronting up without said implements was not useful, despite unbelievable claims of a photographic memory, or slanderous suggestions that it was all made up anyway. Nuff.

When spotted earlier in the day and approached for a sneek preview of the run to come, Bunny and her cohorts said that this would be a flowing trail for the true runners - but this is the hash Bunny, things that flow are supposed to be liquid and alcoholic. But maybe they were, as it turned out that the walking hare got lost although the walkers didn’t, and the beer stop was so much in demand that it was positioned half way around the run.

Announcements
- Wet Dream took back his GM role and had Tiny Sausage (a Boxer lookalike??) stand in as Trailmaster to announce next weeks run from the Lora International Pub and Restaurant in Mikocheni.
- the mismanagement meeting last Thursday was variously avoided, attended early or late, or ignored due to everything already being perfect??, but resulted in : LateCummer will be setting up a Halloween Hash somewhere between 28 Oct and 5 Nov; and Bunny has signed on as a mismanager and will be HashBassador (ambassador for the hash) to promote and arrange international hash events.

The hares
- were honoured for their efforts. SlappA winged about the beer stop being so far away from the end, but no one MADE you drink so much SlappA, and anyway its obviously fun to run with a brew fermenting in the tum - burp. And just because BeggingForIt lost the walkers didn’t mean she was lost - simply encouraging burpy runners to go forward.

Before handing over to the RA, the GM rounded off with Dead Loss in the circle for being Belgian and trying to sell Belgium on eBay. Assisted by the land grabbing Spare, Raj2 for being another obvious developer, Boogie Boobs for not exporting enough Scots to Belgium, and Mother Immoral (for being herself?), downdowns were administered.

The RA
BothWays has returned again and proved she had been away by bringing in Bunny for a hashybirthday song - which we did last week. Asking for ideas for her 50th birthday activities, Mr Sh’thole proposed Zimmer frame racing, nicely supported by NastyPasty’s idea of incontinence pad testing, but out of tune with a motorbike rally across Australia which is NutCrackers dream.
NutCracker and Bunny were held back for beer abuse, to be joined by RentBoy for insensitivity to religious matters when swigging beer on the run during Ramadan, but Bunny was also rewarded with a birthday present of the virginal young Richard to use as she pleased, which caused some jealousy from the other harriettes.

Mr S contrived a link between flour and things frenchy which led into ‘Ou est le papier’, to be followed by an Origin of the Species’ competition between MrS, NeanderShorter, and Raj2, because the famous species origin expert who recently featured in the world press (proof displayed in the circle), our very own UpSkirt, was available to judge the matter. However she deemed the choice too limited and dragged RentBoy into the line-up. Democracy amongst the harriettes inevitably left RentBoy as the preferred option for future procreation- predictably shallow, no way would the harriers judge a harriette by the shape around her mind - the rest of her body maybe, but not the head.

Moving on, BothWays called in the virgins. Thom had introduced Bunny’s birthday present Richard and St Knickerless was responsible for Jane from Pangaani. They were joined by Alililili...ya as a latecomer and Mother Immoral so that we could sing ‘She’s a most immoral lady’. The returning Mr Shit’ole was ignored but took it like a true Khazhaghshtani and had another beer, whilst the GM took over for the final spot - hash shit. Bombastic tried to sneak in the gear he had been bestowed some weeks ago and NastyPasty was only the messenger to return the toilet seat awarded to knickerSniffer, so WetDream nominated them both, whilst DeadLoss proposed LateCummer because LC thought he looked really good in the tights and miniskirt (and presumably DL agreed??). NeanderShorter suggested Bunny for the beerstop location, and Bunny counterproposed NeanderShorter for ... . The GM got confused but NastyPasty helped out by accepting defeat without a full vote and she willingly donned the regalia, so we finished with NP and the virgins for the hash hymn.

On on food, courtesy of the hashHash, and a significant improvement on the previous week led to many plaudits. Apparently the supplier runs as a stand alone business, paying rent and power and staff costs to the US embassy, so the meal was within budget with no subsidy from the CIA, which means the microchip comms devices embedded in every mouthful are truely ours.

Remember, the Lora Pub seem to like their pool being polluted by sweaty hashers, and combined with the GM’s known prediliction for wet T shirts, be prepared with extra dry clothes at next weeks run.

ON ON

eSquire L
Garbage Techologist to the DHHH

Monday 17 September 2007
Run: 1221
Venue: Classic Cafe, Oyster Bay shopping plaza
Hares: Bombastic, Tiny Sausage

Beach, beach, beach, beach - cloggy, soft and lopsided to run on, but Tiny Sausage loves to make people suffer. RentBoy described the run as long sandy wet and nice - huh. At least ChildAbuse, the visiting RA from Maputo hash, recognised that the walk was short by choice. And the hares ... got their just rewards.

Hash Ass GM NeanderShorty led off the circle with next weeks run announcement (to be hosted by Bunny, from the Valhalla compound) and had BumTitty in as a totally convincing Viking lookalike.
Continueing the theme, the Valhalla girls LeakyLucy and Bunny were front and centre for Hashy Birthday down downs shared from linked arms with their dream hashers - how did HeadGasket and BumTitty get in there?
Make a note of 29 September at Little Theatre for a pig roast and party to celebrate the Bunny birthday.
Finally the mis-managers (and any one else who’s interested is invited) will meet at the GM’s house on Thursday 20th at 7pm. If you want to find the GM’s house, go to www.darhhh.com and click on the ‘venues’ link.

To round it off, the GM found some idiots who had recently returned from a town in the north of Tz, resulting in a body contortionist convention, accompanied by ‘singing in the rain’ ... Arusha sha, arusha sha, arusha sha sha.

Moving swiftly onward, our esteemed RA BothWays was unavoidably detained back at her Him-a-lay an hideaway reclusive retreat, presumably pondering great thoughts (or pampering great thighs perhaps, who knows and if you do perhaps you shouldn’t admit it). However, by great good fortune the Dancing Lemon Turd was again in town and agreed to take up the challenge.
- no less than seven newcomers to the Dar Hash were welcomed : Seema from London; Thom from NZ; Dion and Janine from Botswana; ChildAbuse from Maputo; Henry from Tz; and Jessica from Yanksville; were educated about the origins and virtues of the down down elixir with a round of ‘Warm Safari’.

- Capt Skidmark and Anthea were privileged to have their new shoes filled with said Safari and both downed the brew with style.

- sinners BumTitty, RentBoy and EweShagger were punished for relying on the poor elephant’s tusks to support themselves during the circle;

- PantyPockets, DeadLoss, BeggingForIt and LeakyLucy were all overheard complaining about the need for a longer walk but DLT pointed out that the longer walk is called ‘the run’ and was easily available for their use.
- NastyPasty was noted strolling into the circle half way through, and not even properly dressed, so she was down downed to the strains of ‘Ou est le papier’ (parents meeting at French School being her excuse).

- Departeesandreturneesmingledamongstthemselves for a free beer before we progressed to the problem of a hash shit. Having been both named and annointed hashshit last week, KnickerSniffer obviously found it all too much and decided to contemplate his navel this week. So, no gear, no incumbent ... nominations for virtual hash shit were: Bunny for child abuse (small letters = being bad to a small person, big letters = Maputo RA) ‘cos she encourages her daughter to .. attend the hash (surely a heroine trait if ever there was one); HeadGasket for suggestively stroking the elephant’s tusk .. well what do you expect from HG; Dion for setting a lousy example to his toddlers by bringing them to the hash .. no comment; and Swooping Tiger for beer abuse .. Beer Abuse .. BEER ABUSE. Guess who’s the latest addition to the list on the toilet wall.

So after a moving rendition of Swing Low with the virgins, Swooping Tiger led on to the very large plates individually unfilled with a smattering of rice and beans. (And of course the hash hashmaster F’ing Nobody had sneeked off after the run so we couldn’t even winge to him.)
But you can come to the mismanagement meeting on Thursday and express your delight with all things hashy, or bring ideas for the betterment of our lot.

Otherwise, see you next Monday at Vanessa’s Valhalla, where the vestal virgins can visibly verify the virtues of Viking viagra, while the vigilant vicar’s vintage vineyard might be vexingly violated if I could think of a verb beginning with v - why does vice come to mind.

ON ON

Squire L (or eSquire L if you read this by e-mail?)
Scribe to the DHHH

Monday 10 September 2007
Run: 1220
Venue: Salty Gonads’ pad, Regents Estate
Hares: Salty Gonads, Bothways, LateCummer.

Salty G lives quite a long way along one of those typical extended Dar traffic jams (unless you go the really bumpy silly way) so we did well to have a prompt start with only a few lost souls still trying to find the venue. Initial confusion with the ‘other’ paper trail (from BothWays run two weeks ago) was easily overcome by the front hare yelling ‘not that way you stupid ...’ and heading off in the opposite direction. The problem resolved itself after we played chicken with the killer dalla dallas on Old Baga Road and crossed into the pristine tranquillity of the local village lanes, to be cheerfully encouraged by the understanding inhabitants - duh. Spare thought the village looked better when it was underwater, remembering Sinderellas last run in torrential rain last year, and certainly cleaner.

In fact DianA described the run as ‘long and stinky’ when the GM called her into the circle for a brief synopsis, but Panty Pockets was bored with the walking trail - maybe no dalla dalla dashs.

Choral apathy reined on the fringes of the circle during these proceedings, but Wet Dream had noted the presence of one Lord Whore Whore - ex songmaster to the DHHH - and promised him a down down for every person not singing lustily for the remainder of the circle. The peer was subsequently very noticeably active in rushing around the outer edges pour encourager les autres - didn’t do a lot for the singing though.

Next weeks run is to be hosted by Bombastic from the Classic Cafe in the Oyster Bay shopping thingy place - almost a guarantee of a section of the run on that favourite claggy sandy shoe sucking beach - yeah.

Boogy Boobs announced that plans are in the making for a special run on Friday 21 (or is it 28th) for Vanessa’s birthday. Details will be forthcoming in due course.

Tiny Sausage was called in as Park’n’Rides lookalike, because the next MisManagement meeting will again be postponed, this time to Thursday 20 September at WD/BB’s hash central.

Enough of the GM, BothWays is excelling herself and yet again dismissed her other responsiblities in order to run, and offer her own interpretation of Religious Advise. For some reason this entailed her giving a brief life history, including the pivotal phrase ‘when I came to Dar’ which led to a rendition of the ‘Warm Safari’ song. She then proceeded in reverse and called in the virgins and returnees. Anicka - ‘a bit of alright’; Chris - a YC sailing person; Mr Swedish Embassy; and Atasha(?) from Nairobi were all welcomed with a down down.

However her primary role at this circle was to pass out collection orders from the Oyster Bay police station Lost Property Office. Apparently they have been holding various items thought to belong to hashers, and BW had been called upon to assist with identifying the owners : Salty Gonads - a horse (??); Wet Dream - some knee cartilage; Booby Boobs - elastic breast suspension equipment; Spare - a lost wife; Panty Pockets - the gift of the gab; F’ing Nobody - a rubber doll (sex not determined); My Little Pony - running shoes; Swooping Tiger - a crouching dragon; Squirrel - a sense of order; NutCracker - a horses penis; and Atasha mzee - a T shirt. There were also items possibly belonging to LaurA and DianA, but their entry to the circle brought up a more important matter - their lack of proper names. Some meaningful pondering and base thoughts led to a general concensus, and The RA called upon the Great Gismet In The Sky to recognise forevermore the harriettes SlappA (ex DianA) and UpSkirt (ex Laura).

Somehow a Pavarotti lookalike or two got to belt out a bit of ‘opera’, and then the GM said enough of the RA and Bombastic returned to the circle as the HashShit, only to be immediately renominated by the GM for not having the skirt and negligee. Alex was also nominated, for doing alright with ‘a bit of alright’, and for still having the RA’s clothes (no one dared ask in front of Anicka), and for .. and for .... At this point some minor barracking and name calling from the circle, led to a building frenzy for a further naming ceremony. The GM took control and by the power invested in him Alex became forevermore (to general pleasure and agreement) KnickerSniffer. I’m fairly sure that was a big grin that Anicka was hiding behind her hand.

And Wet Dream, conveniently forgeting Mr Bombastic, announced that in the absence of other candidates KnickerSniffer was this weeks HashShit.

Virgins and Swing Low. On food, on beer, put the worlds problems behind you.

See you next week at Classic Cafe, and note that Bombastic is another FRB so we should look forward to another good trail.

ON ON

Squire L
DarHHH scribe