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Hash Trash 2007-2009

Weekly Hash Trash report of the Dar es Salaam Hash house Harriers. This blog covers run # 1189 (19-March-2007) to run # 1296 (26-January-2009)

Scribble 23 April 2007

Monday 23 April 2007
Run: 1196
Venue: Sea Cliff Hotel carpark
Host: Bouncer
Hares: Bouncer, Bouncer and eh, Bouncer


THE RUN

Billed as the first Trash Hash, suitable virginal white Sea Cliff Hotel sponsored T shirts were provided for hashers, along with a grand marquee (well an extended sunshade at least), pristine white table clothed eh tables and two water coolers with eh cool water man.

After everyone overcame the initial trick question - where the run was actually starting from - we were introduced to the concept of Earth Day and that we were expected to collect rubbish at the beer stop to support Earth Day. Most people think there’s enough rubbish already, but Bouncer thinks the earth needs more so we should do our bit and collect some ? ?

Due to the lack of hares the runners were initialy expected to follow a totally unmarked trail (which was unerringly spotted by Head Gasket and Salty Gonads). Inevitably the pack later executed the odd backtrack before stumbling on a few lonely American secrets shreds and homing in on the beer stop.

The grand plan was to get in quick, knock off (steal) the locals carefully hoarded bank of valuable recycling materials, and get out before they noticed or became too irate. Bouncer provided gloves so that we left no fingerprints, and swag bags for the loot. The beer truck was full and could not be used as the getaway vehicle, so walkers would be sent off early to have a chance of not being caught, whilst the runners bravely hung back to distract and cover the retreat - they would simply make a mad dash at the very last moment.

Incredibly everyone seemed to make a clean getaway by various pre planned routes back to the command centre, but the loot was not to be seen. It later transpired that it was to be taken to the rubbish tip ? Well I thought thats where we stole it from ? These Americans have some funny ideas - no wonder they ....... well enough of that.

THE CIRCLE

Announcements:

Park’N’Ride (Hash Cash) and Squirrel convinced the GM that they were in complete agreement all along and this was run no. 1196.

The Bagomoyo sub committee will meet at 6pm at GM’s house on Wednesday, anyone interested should front up.

The Bagomoyo run will be on 19 May starting from St Peter’s Church before sparrow fart. Teams from IST, Nairobi, Knight Support, and DHHH will be competing. Other teams are actively sought and very welcome.

13 May is a World Food Program event

Pinocchio announced a 50 year old party ? to be held on Friday 27 April. Check out www.drillers.com/party for venue and details -all hashers welcome.

next run will be Monday 30 April at DYC beach banda, hosted by Prawn, Old Mother Reilly, Room Service and Seaman Stains.


And the hares, and the - well the multiplee personalitied but singular haress.
Furry Burger thought the walk was stinky and sweaty; Tiny Sausage described the run as .... shitty. Fair comment all round really.


The RA’s spot

Mr Sh’ole took over the circle as RA of the moment, and immediately swerved away from the central theme of the day, to introduce some guy called George. As is MrS’ssss wont, a cameo was erected with a bunch of old dragons and a few well hung knights. Apparently George was made a saint for knocking off (snuffing out ?) a dragon and so Mr S had the knights, with their hardened swords, attempting to pierce the fire spitting females. (Apparently some Anglo types think 23 April should be dedicated to St George).

Getting back to the RA’s true role, MrS introduced hash discipline. Sounds fun eh, but somehow this was linked to Enema Queen and Spare being apart on the run, and a long winded rendition of Oh Sir Jasper (aka Shes a Most Immoral Lady).

Unfortunately, (Mother) Immoral almost owns this song, and in a fit of pique at this blatant misuse claimed she was GIVING UP ALCOHOL in protest, and selected Head Gasket to join her in puritanical ecstasy.

One visitor (Schloopstein deboop de loopy from Surabaya ??) and four virgins, plus seven returnees and six departees completed the RA’s down down give away show, leaving the GM to take up the challenge of remembering who was Hash Shit last week.


Hash Shit

MrS was notably quiet and unaccoutred, but never the less discovered to have claimed the title. Wet Dream listened gravely to stories of hash shit toilet seats and designer clothing cast from car windows likes toys from a pram, as the MrS ensemble exited the Valhalla venue last week (causing great consternation and confusion amongst the Valhalla guards), and without further adooooo adon’t adoo doo doo democratically determined that the decision should carry forward.


The finale

Hash Hymn with virgins front and centre; on food; sour wine ??; cold Kili; chitty chatty; off we go.



Good do next week, as four stalwart long time hashers take the plunge to set sail on the briny deeps, in a flimsy craft, for unexplored lands afar across the seas. Don’t miss it. See you at the Yatch Club beach banda. (Tides out big time so leave your swimmers at home).


ON ON

Squire L
Scribe to THE HASH

Scribble 16 April 07

Monday 16 April 2007
Run: 1195
Venue: Valhalla
Host: NeanderShorty
Hares: NeanderShorty, Tiny Sausage and Chicken Shit

Yippedeedooda - we have control of our web site.

Welcome back. I gave up writing this rubbish while the emailing system did not function to spread the good word for the eager reader. Now you have no excuse and must suffer again.

Due to Boogie Boobs ad hoc distribution of run directions, and despite the lovely cool rain, a good turn out of ridiculously overexcited hashers gathered in the shelter of the Valhalla banda.
Of course there was a bit of splashing from running jumps into the grotty brown puddles, but what can you expect from overgrown kids; and apparently the walkers split into search parties - but none of them found the beer stop. Topi, the visiting GM from Nairobi, got lost and went off for a self unguided tour of the peninsula and therefore missed a looooongg run which even still had paper piles after a day of drizzle.

The following circle was a little drippy (banda and hashers) in places, but was led off by Wet Dream, who still doesn’t know what run number we’re at.

The first news was that the GM has deemed it acceptable to allow attendance in the circle by video link, as we are a technologically advanced hash. And in order to be first to take up this option Frozen Scrotum went out on Sunday and broke his leg whilst not riding his motorbike very well. This allowed him to be medically unfit to run and therefore DarHHH’s first genuine, medically certified, video hasher (but certainly not the first certified hasher). The eager circle was able to view whats left of his leg and shout abuse at him, as one does when encouraging the less fortunate. Some people will go a long way for a place in the spotlight Mr Frozen, but bending your motorbike. Don’t ask how they smuggled the warm Safari into his room for the down down or the Agha Khan will close up their security.

Back to the mundane, your MisManagement Committee will meet on Wednesday at 8pm at the GMs house (also at Boogie Boobs house as she was quick to point out). Anyone interested in getting involved in anything is invited, especially if you want to be part of the Bagamoyo relay.

The Bagamoyo Relay will be the next great event of the Dar season, and is scheduled for the 19th May so make a note on your secretary now.

Appropriate recipients of the warm Safari were selected by the GM at each stage of these Announcements, and they suffered gladly.

Moving on to the hares, NeanderShorty, Tiny Sausage and Chicken Shit were joined by Topi for being lost and BB for walking alone in company with her husband. Down down down down.

Another first for the DarHHH came about due to careless parents losing children in airports around the world, when Mr Sh’ole and Nasty Pasty stranded young Tristan with no money or luggage in a well known european airport and then had pangs of conscience and slipped away from the circle to try to extricate him by remote control. This left us with no certified RA - not even an irregular vaguely insane one.
A Religious Adviser should be eloquent, funny, perceptive, sympathetic, quick witted, well versed in hash lore, and loud mouthed - in all respects above the standard of your run of the mill DHHH hasher. Perhaps this is why we don’t seem to have a regular RA, they none of them feel able to rise above themselves. (You can understand the biologically challenged BothWays, but perhaps MrS and Prawn could make a stand).

If you want to take a break now thats OK, but really it might be better to get it all read and done in one sitting. Then you can return to your other life

Stretchs and rotates neck


So eyes swivelled to Chicken Shit (presumably because she has a loud mouth) and to a swell of applause at her (c)(p)luckyness, she stepped into the breach. Not one to miss an opportunity, her first victims were Boogie Boobs and Immoral as Mothers Who Care For There Children (splutter cough from the fringes). A confusing story of hasher attacking dog had NeanderShorty, Head Gasket and Squirrel in the circle. Followed by the Nairobi connections to accompany Topi - got to give the esteemed visitors a beer eh.

An advert break for the St Georges Society Ball, was rounded out by Tailmaster Boxer announcing next weeks run (at Bouncer’s house near Seacliff); BB being done for carrying a parcel of suspicious green leaves around with her; and Park n Ride being slow with the down downs.

The GM saved the best for last, and proudly announced the resuscitation of the DHHH website (if you are reading this then you’ve found the www.darhhh address). My Little Pony accepted plaudits for the kiss of live and will henceforth be known as hash webmaster in chief.

Maybe you should have had a coffee break earlier but it really isn’t more than a para or two now


Hash Shit was Chicken Shit last week and she was keen to move on (hence the RA bit perhaps ?). Nominations this week were MrS (returned from his parental panic) for being a cheapskate and not sending offspring as accompanied minors; Head Gasket because he would look better with the miniskirt covering his hernia; My Little Pony for threatening the hash with dire retribution via the website should he be made unhappy; and an innocent Squirrel for having taken so long to get MLP to kiss the website better.

OK OK so you need to do something else as well today


Hash shit is MrS. No Hash hymn. On on food. More Kili. Rain stops. All slowly depart.
See you next week.Whew

Squire L
Scribe to THE HASH

Scribble 9 April 07

Run no :1194

date : Monday 9 April 2007

Venue: Park n Rides house

Host : Park n Ride

Hares : Boxer and Park n Ride

A hardened few turned up for the third hash in four days, with a miserable four runners checking out Boxers trail, although there were more walkers as per usual. The lack of prior announcemet of the run venue would have something to do with it - we must resuscitate the website to avoid the emailing list bottleneck.

It has to be said that the circle was also fairly brief, primarily due to a knackered GM (not the rest of us of course), but a valiant effort was made by RA BothWays to encourage participation with Easter eggs for anyone called into the circle. The finer details elude my memory, but they were fine and we had fun, so round objects to you you lazy bunch of stay at homes.

Trailmaster Boxer had twisted NeanderShorties arm and we are off to the Valhalla banda next week.

Normal scribe service should be resumed at the next run, so wipe your reading glasses clean and be there for a mention.

ON ON

Squire L

Scribble 7 April 07

Run No : 1193

Date : Sad Saturday 7 April 2007

Venue : Rock Garden, Morogoro

Hares : Wet Dream, Prawn

As the day before, an amazing turnout of Dar hashers, considering the time they slept. Even My Little Pony was eventually prised out of his pit, but narry a one of the mooted Morogoro crowd to be seen. Late Cummers magic poster with the wrong dates was mentioned in passing as a possible cause of the Morogoro stay-away.

The runners were suitably attired in the wedding finery for the celebration of Fat Bastard and Bitch’s wedding, and a dirty and wet set of walkers and runners returned from the ‘easy’ ‘day after’ trails. The altar was set up across the path into the rock gardens so that every visitor would appreciate the spectacle, but due to poor alcohol control on the weddings eve, the bridegroom had mislaid his dress (he maintains someone nicked it but I ask you, did you see that shiny sequined black number, he just hid it to avoid the embarrassment. easily embarrassed is our Bitch, ask any Dar hasher). The bride was providing a singular sight depending on which way she lent and therefore which one fell out, and the Kili was in demand. Wot more can a hasher expect. A moving service was conducted by Bothways as RA, after Prawn led the bride in to the circle, and marital advice of varying types was offered to them both. A quick secret huddle of harriettes showed Fat Bastard what to expect and how to deal with it, but she maintained her dignity and remained unphased and untroubled by it all - possibly a touch red in the face but we politely (haha) put that down to the running.

A convoy moved the pack on to that other hotel, which had promised a free beer to anyone in a wedding dress, but we was robbed and even the wedding couple had to pay their own way. And to add insult to injury, eventually they were abandoned by everyone and had to get a taxi back to Kola Hills where mcuch gathering of stray clothing was followed by a sad departure of the hashers.

Written from blurred memory, but truthfully told.

ON ON

Squire L

Scribble 6 April 07

Run No : 1192

Date : Bad Friday 6 April 2007

Venue : Kola Hills Hotel, Morogoro

Hares : Wet Dream, Boxer, Boogie Boobs

A very good turnout of Dar hashers, but narry a one of the mooted Morogoro crowd to be seen.

Wet Dream had set a trail up the hills, round the side and down again. Incredibly he then proceedced to do it all again with the pack. A couple of scenic beer stops and some very bedreaggled hashers returned to the hotel for a VERY welcome cold one. Spare was attacked by bities, everyone slid down the slopes and all had a grand time.

Due to non publishment of previous Scribbles, the Scribe was on strike and no contemporaneous (how about that for a word eh)notes were taken. Suffice it to say that, after the circle and some surprisingly good fodder, the party animals continued well into the morning, but apparently did not demolish parts of the hotel this year. Are we well behaved or what. It seems to have been noted that your scribe was comfortably in bed at a respectable hour.

ON ON

Squire L
Scribe to THE HASH

Scribble 2 April 07

Run No. 1191 on Monday 2 April 2007

Venue : Classic Cafe, Oyster Bay

Hares : Late Cummer, Boxer



Despite Park n Ride’s firm advice to the GM that this was run number 1190, we will continue on the path of verity and logic.

Run number 1191 was unannounced and undirected (unless you were at the real run 1190) due to Late Cummers email access problems, but then Late Cummer was the host and HE knew where it was to be, so hard luck if you missed it. However a fine turnout of keen hashers still found their way to the venue.

A run which included a stretch of Boxers favourite soft sandy beach was quickly completed by the pack, as plentiful paper led us around with few hiccups, and took us back to the Oyster Bay complex well in advance of the walkers. Mind you the walkers were controlling a pack of no less than five hash dogs - but whether this slowed them or quickened the pace you can decide.

Wet Dream opened the circle inside the sheltering walls of the shopping mall and within minutes the only other people around (two intense business ladies deep in negotiation over some meaningful paperwork) cleared up and hurried out with worried looks. Other passers gathered in amazement to hear raucous singing in the quiet confines of the complex.

Announcements were: a final reminder for Morogoro on Friday 9th and Saturday 10th; and a date for your diary - run to Bagamoyo on 19 May - the Wet Dream team will be auditioning in the near future, but other teams are also needed.

Late Cummer and Boxer were suitably rewarded for their efforts as hares, despite Bag O’Bones run commentary : short, wriggly and fast, and Panty Pockets version of the walk : doggy, and no beer stop!

In the absence of Bothways (RA = Rarely Attends, Runs Accasionaly ??) our Reliably Active MrSh’ole took up the slack yet again. Having noted the departure of the suited ladies, he counterpoised office workers and leisure consultants, with reps drawn from the pack, before moving on to what he characterised as the meat of his role - the Hash rules. Chicken Shit and Captain Skidmark were paired as possible sexual sinners, and by a subtle twist of logic this led on to Boogie Boobs current household members (half the hash it seems) who apparently all share a single housekey.

Two virgins were found amidst the pack. Ellen from Washington DC hopes to be around in the future, and baby Lennon was presented by proud parents Lord and lady Whore Whore. (Poison Dwarf got to be a Lennon look alike for down down purposes.)

Seven returnees (Moo, PnR, MrS, Joanna, Capt Skidmark, Bushbanger and Willie) were recognised before Boxer announced that Park N Ride will be setting next Mondays run at a mystery location. Lets hope the email directions find a way through the internet.

72 years of Dar hashing experience were gathered by the RA, to resolve the correct run number for the Bad Friday Morogoro rua. After much argument and stressfull cogitation it was determined that it would actually be the next run, and therefore we should add one to this run number and the answer would be before us. Naturally they proceeded to add one to 1190 and got 1191, when we know the proper answer is 1192. But it is truly amazing what a bunch of ancient experts can achieve given time and assistance, don’t you agree.

A deeply meaningful occasion was the penultimate feature of the RA’s spot. Rachel and Joanna both began hashing in Dar more than ten years ago, yet they had no proper names. They had been paraded before the circle earlier to set the brain cells working at appropriate hash names, and now they were recalled to the circle and voting proceeded to decide the most fitting from the proposals, despite Bushbanger trying to reverse the circles decision on a name for Rachel because she felt it did not reflect the outstanding fine legs of the harriette. Baptismal ceremony celebrant Prawn was then requested to confer the new names. She Wants One (ex Rachel) and Easy Let (ex Joanna) were honorably and individually baptised in holy beer with the power conferred on Prawn by the Great Gismet in the Sky.

The RA’s final act was to find a new hash shit, as Wet Dream had been a low key holder of the honour. My Little Pony was nominated for cold Guiness snaffling after last weeks run at Boogie Boobs house; Late Cummer for the lack of emailed directions and not setting his own run; and Bushbanger for being variously a Boring Old Fart, recalcitrant, or a Stroppy Cow. Democratic yelling and cheering decided that Bushbanger was the most deserving, and she proved it by refusing to don the plastic miniskirt and rasta hair/hat, whilst discarding the holy toilet seat after only ten seconds.

Sweet Chariot and food completed the formal aspects of the evening, and the hashers proceeded to drink the beer cooler dry.

Check your email for Park N Rides Monday run directions, or turn up at Morogoro on Friday for the next two running extravaganzas.

ON ON

Squire L
Scribbler to the Hash

Scribble 26 March 07

Run No. 1190 on Monday 26 March 2007

Venue : Boogie Boobs house (aka Wet Dreams house), Haile Selassie Road

Hares : Wet Dream, Old Mother Riley

Well I told you last week not to make the same mistake again, but some of you did anyway. Noting the obvious theme of the evening, tough toenails is not quite the phrase that comes to mind.

Boogie Boobs 50th (surely she’s done more runs than that?) was memorialised by the issue of yet another fashionable T shirt to the dedicated followers, and the first opening to the hash of their remodelled abode.

A good turnout of over twenty runners and lots more walkers were led astray on the peninsula, through scrub, beach, road and track, with a popular beer stop thrown in and a cameo appearance from Ulrika (wine bottle in hand). No complaints were heard, but then the GM never asked for the packs opinion - maybe he was concerned, but somehow I doubt it.

Wet Dream started the circle by explaining that a hash team had taken on the best in the quiz at O’willies after last weeks run, and now all were to be punished by having this weeks down downs in the winnings = a case of warm Miller. Drink it down down down ... A brief mention of the Morogoro Rua on Bad Friday 6 April and a plug for Fat Bastards wedding run on Saturday 7 April, somehow ended up with a bunch of husband searchers in the circle. Drink it down .... Followed by a choir of angels. Drink it ... Who knows how these things work - I certainly don’t. Responsibility for the commemorative T shirt was accepted by OMR (the model) and Late Cummer (not the model), accompanied by the birthday girl herself and more Millers. At which point the GM handed over to our very own RA. Bothways was said to have spent the last three weeks away at the hairdressers but then ‘fell’ into the pool and ruined the effect. Did I mention the pool - ah, well, yes, there’s a pool at the GM’s house. And it’s close to the bar. Probably no one noticed before the run ?? but it was discovered afterwards. Amazingly the circle was not held in it, despite a well known predeliction for wet T shirts amongst the hashers.

Bothways declared this to have been a sin free run, which(must be unheard of in past annals, but was much taken by the T shirt depiction of boobs through the ages. She did her best to make up for the dry shirts by coercing an example of the firm 18 year old chest into the circle, whipped off her own T shirt as representing the intermediate stage, and then had Boogie Boobs disrobe to display how exercise, fitness and a healthy life style (!!) can keep you young. Prawn was called upon as an expert in these matters, to judge on the best pair in the circle - and declared the undoubted winner to be ... Bum Titty, who was duly rewarded. Not wishing to change the subject (why is she called BothWays) the RA introduced and displayed a possibly prosthetic pair which became the subject of pointed remarks and intense inspection as to natural or not. Popular acclaim voted them to be real.

Six virgins were welcomed to the pack, followed by a menage of returnees, departees and latecomers. Moo is off to Mozambique; Poison Dwarf is back from SA for a visit; Candy Man and Lord Whore Whore dropped in to check that the hash is still fully functional; Prawn and My Little Pony fancied a beer; and the rest ..

Despite not being actually in the pool, the proximity was too much for Wet Dream and he demanded an Arushasha wriggle from all and sundry - there’s something about the ‘chests out, bums out, tongues out’ that gets him going. Being naturally hollow chested, knock kneed and pigeon toed I find the whole thing a bit strange, but it was given lots of ‘thumbs up’ by the circle.

Poison Dwarf was given a special spot in the circle to administer down downs to the vintage hash quartet of Wet Dream, Boogie Boobs, Prawn and OMR, which she duly did - don’t ask me why they had keyrings in the bottom of their beers.

Nearly finished and you can do something useful - couple more paras to read.
Clears throat, sits up straight.

Hash Shit Bum Titty had properly run in his full regalia but found the toilet seat chafed his neck as he charged around the corners at speed, so Lena carried it for him - wasn’t that thoughtful of her; OMR’s Chui was nominated for enjoying the smell of sweaty hash socks, and represented by Poison Dwarf on all fours; Candy Man had been away so long he deserved to be nominated; Lord Whore Whore in a similar vein; Bum Titty ‘cos he looked good in the gear. What a choice. Wet Dream wittled them away one by one until only the lovely helpful Lena was left - tension mounted - could it be, would it be ... Lena. But if you have a mouth you must use it and WD made a remark regarding Boogie Boobs possibly wearing the PVC miniskirt (an ageist remark to do with number of years young), it dropped into one of those instant silences, was overheard by every harriette in the place, and mob rule took over. Despite pleas of immunity from the GM, democracy had its day, Lucky Lena left the circle and Wet Dream acknowledged his sin, slipped his ‘slim’ hips into the miniskirt and led away to the dining - but only after Bothways and Wet Dream led the choral circle in the hash hymn of thanks.


By the way, at some point Trailmaster Boxer announced next weeks run is to be at the Classic Cafe in the Oyster Bay Shopping Centre, set by Late Cummer - see you there.


ON ON

Squire L
Scribbler to the Hash

OK, that’s it, no more excuses, you’d better go back to your life now, hope you enjoyed the coffee break

Scribble 19 March 07

Run No. 1189 on Monday 19 March 2007

Venue : O’Willies Irish Pub, Peninsula Hotel

Hares : Wet Dream, Boogey Boobs, Nasty Pasty

Not bad, not bad at all at all a tall Irishman said begorrah and bejesus (but confusingly neither Gorrah nor Jesus were there).

I hope you didn’t decide macrame was an exciting alternative to a fine Monday run - bad call.

With the return of Park n Ride, from the nether regions of the world, her painless and perfected performance of Hash Cashing was concluded with the issue of St Paddys day themed, Zantel green, T shirts for our delectation of the obviuosly fortuitous colour match between Zantel and the delightfully Irish St Patrick. A fine example to other overcashed businesses that would like to take advantage of the magnificent promotional advantages offered by the influential and trend setting hash pack. Get your request to sponsor the Dar HHH in now, and the Mismanagement Committee will vet the offers, allowing only the very best to follow through. What an opportunity - raise it at the next bored meeting.

After a shortish but varied run, with a delightfully Irish song at the beer stop, (yes .. beer stop) we ON IN’d along the scenic and smelly foreshore from the fish market (lucky the tide was going down eh Wet Dream). The pack were initially stymied by lack of the GREEN beer, but with technical assistance from (the not the silly) Moo (ex bar girl from Phuket - sorry, bar maid from Cambodia ??) the keg was connected to the pump (!!) and things went better. Thanks to TBL for the beer - funny taste but they tell me it wasn’t the green dye - just a simple Castle ale with a bouquet to suit. As MrS said ..... free beer YEEAAH what more could a hasher require (luckily we are all well mannered and no one said Kili).

The circle started with a delightfully virulent Irish green short, served in the best hash snifter balloon glasses (plastic cups to you), and got progressively less organised - apart that is from a delightfuly Irish dance exhibition from a trio of delightfully lovely Irish colleens who snuck in and out before the outrageous bits started.

A DHHH circle is nothing without the adverts these days, so Bouncer got in a swift plug for a trash pick up at SeaCliff on Friday; PnR and St Knickerless drew attention to their vagina monologues, coming soon to a venue near you; Boxer promoted next weeks run at the GMs house (specially renovated for the run) in aid of some female who will be reaching maturity at last; and the Morogoro Bad Friday rua/ easter Saturday wedding run slipped in as well. This involved multiple down downs and total confusion - in fact I’m not sure anyone was left in the outer circle - possibly ‘cos down downs were with delightfully Irish Guinness - amongst other things. In view of the lack of normal down down liquids, the Warm Safari song was rendered by way of explanation to the newcomers.

Not to alter the tone of the evening, MrS took over as RA - always good for a confusion injection. After a bit of sponsor licking, he defined some hash sins and drew examples from the guilty or innocent hashers around without distinction (actually wishing to demonstrate his powers and revel in the sinners discomfort, as per all RAs).

A fine run analysis from WonderBra, and walk synopsis from Alililililiya, was followed by the introdution of no less than ten virgins (isn’t it amazing what a free T shirt can get people to do), and visitors from Budapest and Nairobi, and two departees.

In the true singing spirit we had another go at the GM’s favorite version of ‘Singing in the rain’ (returnee Bum Titty having been in a town near Kili), before the Hash Shit stakes were run again. Late Cummer and Jason were divested of two weeks worth of shit gear, before the contestants lined up: Nasty Pasty for suggesting the delightfully Irish riverdance girls could be renamed the DHHH sewer dancers; Moo for wearing a Vodacom T shirt at a Zantel sponsored hash (and sitting throughout the circle); Eddy, also for the same grievous sins; and Foti for being Bum Titty. Democracy being what it is Bum Titty led on to the O’Willies special ‘beef and Guinness pie with mash’ - and highly tasty and nutricious it was en all. Did I mention the Sweet Chariot hymnal - well it happened again.

Free beer, free food, free T shirts - boy did yous pick a bad one to miss - but fear not for Wet Dream will be at his house next Monday to offer thanks for Boogey Boobs’ 49 years and 365 days youngness.

Don’t make the same mistake again - see you there.


ON ON

Squire L, in a guise as your most delightfully part Irish Scribe



PS I am pleased to say that I have a reader - yes a real reader. She was upset that I didn’t scribe anything about a recent run with which she was intimately involved. Well, I mean, maybe she doesn’t actually READ the scribbles, but at least she noticed their lack. Fame and fortune are around the corner, and I owe it all to DHHH. Thank you Mother Teresa.

Scribble 19 March 07

Run No. 1190 on Monday 26 March 2007

Venue : Boogie Boobs house (aka Wet Dreams house), Haile Selassie Road

Hares : Wet Dream, Old Mother Riley

Well I told you last week not to make the same mistake again, but some of you did anyway. Noting the obvious theme of the evening, tough toenails is not quite the phrase that comes to mind.

Boogie Boobs 50th (surely she’s done more runs than that?) was memorialised by the issue of yet another fashionable T shirt to the dedicated followers, and the first opening to the hash of their remodelled abode.

A good turnout of over twenty runners and lots more walkers were led astray on the peninsula, through scrub, beach, road and track, with a popular beer stop thrown in and a cameo appearance from Ulrika (wine bottle in hand). No complaints were heard, but then the GM never asked for the packs opinion - maybe he was concerned, but somehow I doubt it.

Wet Dream started the circle by explaining that a hash team had taken on the best in the quiz at O’Willies after last weeks run, and now all were to be punished by having this weeks down downs in the winnings = a case of warm Miller. Drink it down down down ... A brief mention of the Morogoro Rua on Bad Friday 6 April and a plug for Fat Bastards wedding run on Saturday 7 April, somehow ended up with a bunch of husband searchers in the circle. Drink it down .... Followed by a choir of angels. Drink it ... Who knows how these things work - I certainly don’t. Responsibility for the commemorative T shirt was accepted by OMR (the model) and Late Cummer (not the model), accompanied by the birthday girl herself and more Millers. At which point the GM handed over to our very own RA. Bothways was said to have spent the last three weeks away at the hairdressers but then ‘fell’ into the pool and ruined the effect. Did I mention the pool - ah, well, yes, there’s a pool at the GM’s house. And it’s close to the bar. Probably no one noticed before the run ?? but it was discovered afterwards. Amazingly the circle was not held in it, despite a well known predeliction for wet T shirts amongst the hashers.

Bothways declared this to have been a sin free run, which must be unheard of in past annals, but was much taken by the T shirt depiction of boobs through the ages. She did her best to make up for the dry shirts by coercing an example of the firm 18 year old chest into the circle, whipped off her own T shirt as representing the intermediate stage, and then had Boogie Boobs disrobe to display how exercise, fitness and a healthy life style (!!) can keep you young. Prawn was called upon as an expert in these matters, to judge on the best pair in the circle - and declared the undoubted winner to be ... Bum Titty, who was duly rewarded. Not wishing to change the subject (why is she called BothWays) the RA introduced and displayed a possibly prosthetic pair which became the subject of pointed remarks and intense inspection as to natural or not. Popular acclaim voted them to be real.

Six virgins were welcomed to the pack, followed by a menage of returnees, departees and latecomers. Moo is off to Mozambique; Poison Dwarf is back from SA for a visit; Candy Man and Lord Whore Whore dropped in to check that the hash is still fully functional; Prawn and My Little Pony fancied a beer; and the rest ..

Despite not being actually in the pool, the proximity was too much for Wet Dream and he demanded an Arushasha wriggle from all and sundry - there’s something about the ‘chests out, bums out, tongues out’ that gets him going. Being naturally hollow chested, knock kneed and pigeon toed I find the whole thing a bit strange, but it was given lots of ‘thumbs up’ by the circle.

Poison Dwarf was given a special spot in the circle to administer down downs to the vintage hash quartet of Wet Dream, Boogie Boobs, Prawn and OMR, which she duly did - don’t ask me why they had keyrings in the bottom of their beers.

Nearly finished and you can do something useful - couple more paras to read.
Clears throat, sits up straight.

Hash Shit Bum Titty had properly run in his full regalia but found the toilet seat chafed his neck as he charged around the corners at speed, so Lena carried it for him - wasn’t that thoughtful of her; OMR’s Chui was nominated for enjoying the smell of sweaty hash socks, and represented by Poison Dwarf on all fours; Candy Man had been away so long he deserved to be nominated; Lord Whore Whore in a similar vein; Bum Titty ‘cos he looked good in the gear. What a choice. Wet Dream wittled them away one by one until only the lovely helpful Lena was left - tension mounted - could it be, would it be ... Lena. But if you have a mouth you must use it and WD made a remark regarding Boogie Boobs possibly wearing the PVC miniskirt (an ageist remark to do with number of years young), it dropped into one of those instant silences, was overheard by every harriette in the place, and mob rule took over. Despite pleas of immunity from the GM, democracy had its day, Lucky Lena left the circle and Wet Dream acknowledged his sin, slipped his ‘slim’ hips into the miniskirt and led away to the dining - but only after Bothways and Wet Dream led the choral circle in the hash hymn of thanks.


By the way, at some point Trailmaster Boxer announced next weeks run is to be at the Classic Cafe in the Oyster Bay Shopping Centre, set by Late Cummer - see you there.


ON ON

Squire L
Scribbler to the Hash

OK, that’s it, no more excuses, you’d better go back to your life now, hope you enjoyed the coffee break

Scribble 19 March 07

Run No. 1189 on Monday 19 March 2007

Venue : O’Willies Irish Pub, Peninsula Hotel

Hares : Wet Dream, Boogey Boobs, Nasty Pasty

Not bad, not bad at all at all a tall Irishman said begorrah and bejesus (but confusingly neither Gorrah nor Jesus were there).

I hope you didn’t decide macrame was an exciting alternative to a fine Monday run - bad call.

With the return of Park n Ride, from the nether regions of the world, her painless and perfected performance of Hash Cashing was concluded with the issue of St Paddys day themed, Zantel green, T shirts for our delectation of the obviuosly fortuitous colour match between Zantel and the delightfully Irish St Patrick. A fine example to other overcashed businesses that would like to take advantage of the magnificent promotional advantages offered by the influential and trend setting hash pack. Get your request to sponsor the Dar HHH in now, and the Mismanagement Committee will vet the offers, allowing only the very best to follow through. What an opportunity - raise it at the next bored meeting.

After a shortish but varied run, with a delightfully Irish song at the beer stop, (yes .. beer stop) we ON IN’d along the scenic and smelly foreshore from the fish market (lucky the tide was going down eh Wet Dream). The pack were initially stymied by lack of the GREEN beer, but with technical assistance from (the not the silly) Moo (ex bar girl from Phuket - sorry, bar maid from Cambodia ??) the keg was connected to the pump (!!) and things went better. Thanks to TBL for the beer - funny taste but they tell me it wasn’t the green dye - just a simple Castle ale with a bouquet to suit. As MrS said ..... free beer YEEAAH what more could a hasher require (luckily we are all well mannered and no one said Kili).

The circle started with a delightfully virulent Irish green short, served in the best hash snifter balloon glasses (plastic cups to you), and got progressively less organised - apart that is from a delightfuly Irish dance exhibition from a trio of delightfully lovely Irish colleens who snuck in and out before the outrageous bits started.

A DHHH circle is nothing without the adverts these days, so Bouncer got in a swift plug for a trash pick up at SeaCliff on Friday; PnR and St Knickerless drew attention to their vagina monologues, coming soon to a venue near you; Boxer promoted next weeks run at the GMs house (specially renovated for the run) in aid of some female who will be reaching maturity at last; and the Morogoro Bad Friday rua/ easter Saturday wedding run slipped in as well. This involved multiple down downs and total confusion - in fact I’m not sure anyone was left in the outer circle - possibly ‘cos down downs were with delightfully Irish Guinness - amongst other things. In view of the lack of normal down down liquids, the Warm Safari song was rendered by way of explanation to the newcomers.

Not to alter the tone of the evening, MrS took over as RA - always good for a confusion injection. After a bit of sponsor licking, he defined some hash sins and drew examples from the guilty or innocent hashers around without distinction (actually wishing to demonstrate his powers and revel in the sinners discomfort, as per all RAs).

A fine run analysis from WonderBra, and walk synopsis from Alililililiya, was followed by the introdution of no less than ten virgins (isn’t it amazing what a free T shirt can get people to do), and visitors from Budapest and Nairobi, and two departees.

In the true singing spirit we had another go at the GM’s favorite version of ‘Singing in the rain’ (returnee Bum Titty having been in a town near Kili), before the Hash Shit stakes were run again. Late Cummer and Jason were divested of two weeks worth of shit gear, before the contestants lined up: Nasty Pasty for suggesting the delightfully Irish riverdance girls could be renamed the DHHH sewer dancers; Moo for wearing a Vodacom T shirt at a Zantel sponsored hash (and sitting throughout the circle); Eddy, also for the same grievous sins; and Foti for being Bum Titty. Democracy being what it is Bum Titty led on to the O’Willies special ‘beef and Guinness pie with mash’ - and highly tasty and nutricious it was en all. Did I mention the Sweet Chariot hymnal - well it happened again.

Free beer, free food, free T shirts - boy did yous pick a bad one to miss - but fear not for Wet Dream will be at his house next Monday to offer thanks for Boogey Boobs’ 49 years and 365 days youngness.

Don’t make the same mistake again - see you there.


ON ON

Squire L, in a guise as your most delightfully part Irish Scribe



PS I am pleased to say that I have a reader - yes a real reader. She was upset that I didn’t scribe anything about a recent run with which she was intimately involved. Well, I mean, maybe she doesn’t actually READ the scribbles, but at least she noticed their lack. Fame and fortune are around the corner, and I owe it all to DHHH. Thank you Mother Teresa.

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