Hash Trash

Run 1305, April 6th, 2009, hosted by Susan from the home of Raj.
Hares: Susan and Tiny Sausage

It all started as a family business, with several hashers bringing their kids along. Some returnees were there too, as well as four virgins. A nice big group with new faces. However, with the wet roads and the heavy traffic, a few late comers missed the start and walked with Raj directly to the beer stop…. which was late too…Runners had to sing silly songs and dance “Father Abraham” at a busy and muddy corner, while waiting for the beer to arrive.

Back to Raj’s home, the circle started with announcements. First: Those willing to join the Easter weekend in Udzungwa Mountains were reminded to pay on the spot the full amount, to Hot Safari, My Little Poney, Fat Bastard, or Saddle Sore. Secondly, Boogie Boobs announced the highly expected Bagamoyo Relay, organised on May 16 and 17, with good team spirit, drinking, running, walking, cycling and so on. Accommodation was limited, so hashers should sign up soon. The dream leaders’ team joined the centre of the circle: Candy Man, Wet Dream, Head Gasket, a substitute for Bump Tee Tee, and Tiny Sausage & Susan as substitutes for the Kenyans. Hashers should get prepared!

The hares (Susan for the walkers and Tiny Sausage for the runners) were then submitted to the people’s judgement, expressed by Aïe Aïe Aïe and Spare Part. I, poor little French, didn’t really grasp the judgement because, by then, the booze was flowing, hashers were getting confused, and the generator was working at full speed – making lots of noise. I think I heard “the walk was perfect” and “the runners got lost”. Or is it the other way around? Susan was blamed for having been busier looking for the beer stop than after the walkers. Tiny Sausage complained that there was absolutely no paper on the run, because some hasher and GM had failed to provide the paper. All “old” GMs were called to the circle as punishment: Captain Skid Mark, Boogie Boobs, Wet dream, Tiny Sausage, Camp Bed, as well as Susan and Saddle Sore. Beach Balls was blamed for not wearing running shorts nor shoes. Shishi, Kate (?) and Jacky, for not wearing a H tee shirt, and one of them for being sexy on the H (sorry, I didn’t grasp the name, but she will recognise herself). Returnees were invited to join the circle for a drink: Night Rider, Jackie, Shishi, Hot Safari, Candy Blower, Captain Something, Spare Lots, Renette (sorry for possible mistakes, confusion was getting really bad by then…)

Then the four virgins:
1. Chris Bin, was brought here by Night Rider, said he was originally Tanzanian but Night rider said he was lying and from Minnesota, favourite s/x position: Crossroad. A choir of ladies asked for a demonstration but was sent back to their imagination.
2. Wolfgang, from Germany, brought by Nimbless. “Any position will do”.
3. Leila, from Tanzania, brought by Willbarrow. Ouuuhh….sorry….., I didn’t hear the favourite s/x position.
4. Johanna, from England, brought by Scottish Birthday Cake (I realise this is an unusually soft H name so I might have got it wrong, sorry again…). Favourite position: Soixante-neuf (en francais dans le texte).

Then was the time for Susan to receive her H name. Hints were: she is a lawyer, engaged to a biker, and a bit of a prude – according to her friend. Proposals were: Hot briefs, lawyer bits, briefs on fire, Get me off!, Easy Lay, Slutty Susie, Muffy briefs, hairy briefs, sticky briefs, Sugar Mummy, Madam Parliamentary, Denis’ brief and briefing counter. Susie got on her knees and received the name “Get me off!” with a beer shower.

As for the nomination of the Hash Shit, the nominees were: Tiny sausage, for loosing the hash beer, Late comer, for not being able to organise this H properly, Beach Balls for being on the phone, Jubilee, who had been a hasher for many years and still didn’t know how to behave, Get Me Off for having a shower on the H, Wet Dream, for being silly, Spare Part for I don’t know what reason, a few others who I couldn’t get track of, and Stiff Cocktail, for not having brought back the hash shit clothes of last week and for being unable to tell where they had disappeared. And the winner was: Stiff Cocktail, for the second time in a row. Saddle Sore kindly gave a sexy night dress as costume for this time, while waiting for more to come next time.

The Virgins were called back for a final “Swing low sweat chariot”, before the –good- buffet opened.

PS: The night was still young and a bunch of hashers went to the pub quiz. Putting all our talents together, including Candy Man’s drinking ability, we won a bottle of whiskey, which we proudly shared. Don’t ask me what happened next, I don’t know.

Next Monday, Horny Goat and T&F will host the H from the Chinese Village (please check for confirmation).

On On!

A.C. (aka FoxyPussy)