Hash Trash Run 1307
11 April 2009 at Hondo Hondo Camp site in Udzungwa

The GM welcomed the fellow hashers to the 1307 run of Dar es Salaam Hash and called the hares into the circle. The hares, Fat Bastard and Flatulence seemed a bit weak after the days exercise and Fat Bastard asked to borrow the GM’s hash name for a while…

Gollum was called to give his verdict about the run and gave a “very confusing” comment while Paul called the walk “quite good and very wet”

There will be another run tomorrow and it was declared that Fat Bastard and Flatulence will make sure we get lost again.

Fat Bastard reminded us of the pure amber we are drinking and the hashers merrily sang “Warm Safari”. She was however in a hurry to drink it down and was rewarded with another one

Mr S.., was called as the Religious Adviser and called some misdemeanours into the circle. It was soon clear that a number of “responsible hashers” had been speeding in their eagerness to reach Udzungwa and been fined…. Not heroes was the verdict

Flatulence was called and we learnt about some drama in the morning when the car keys were found in a puddle on the floor – with a remote. The RA also pointed out that he had never seen such a lost hare during a run but fortunately he had been rescued by Head Gasket consistently shouting on-on and getting us all back on track.

RA then went to the Family Theme and called a Spare-part into the circle. He had managed to plough straight through a house. Mattias and Gollum were awarded a down-down for running as Wrecking Balls.

Paul named a flock of wild women, Anne-Claire, Fat Bastard, Sassie Assie and Nasty Pasty into the circle for making a mess at the back of the walk.

Beach Balls was called into the circle as a consistent offender – he was using his phone during the run and in the circle….

The RA welcomed four newcomers, Emmanuel from Mangula, Oliver and Hannah from Middleborough and Mark from Camberwell, London and they were given a welcoming song under guidance of the RA and MLP and Saddle Sore.

The GM took over wanted to plant a seed in everyone (or only some?) to use our heads and come up with a proper name for Paul who had brought all the ice and driven the beer truck etc. The proposals were many but finally the RA was called back and baptised Paul to for ever be called “Shaggy Haggis”.

Secondly the Spare part Mattias was called and unanimously given the name “Wrecking Ball” for his destructive path through the village. The famous and wet song “Arusha” followed….

The hash was missing the regalia for Hash Shit but a number of candidates were called. Shaggy Haggis for being a water thief, Gollum for being a front runner, Wrecking Ball for his destruction of the village, Head Gasket for some obscure abuse, Flatulence for getting us all lost. Everyone was voted as winner and to wear their own crown of grass for tomorrows run.

Wrecking Balls was called back for wasting Safari and Animal Queen administered a horizontal down-down. Virgins were called and after the final song we all went for a well deserved meal.

On-On, Spare