Hash Trash 2009 0.5

A non-chronologically ordered list of the Hash Trash from the beginning of 2009 while the website was down.

Trash 1316

Run 1316, 18 May 2009

Location: Wet Dream and Boogie Boobs House with a touch of Ripper

The circle was opened with special down downs for the Hosts Boogie Boobs, Wet Dreams, Ripper and Mr Bean on behalf of our sponsors TBL, who still hadn’t managed to claim back their giant Safari Can.


Ripper, Mr Bean, and Boogie Boobs did a chaser for being the hares this week with Close Encounters suggesting the run was wonderful and Easy Let thinking the walk was a long one but a good one! Well that got Mancuff good to go.

Next Hash

Ripper tells us that next weeks hash is at TBL itself hosted by Boogie Boobs and Wet Dreams. WD suggested we shouldn’t piss all over everything if we want a brewery tour while Cock Roach suggested it would be superfagalistic. Ripper was then questioned why he would wear a dead parrot on his shoulder into the circle, the offending article turned out to be the boomeranging red glove, there where comments about why he would need such an industrial strength glove and all of a sudden your faithful stand-in scribe Rubber Bum was called into the middle along with Mr. Bean for being concerned about that relationship but Boogie just wanted it blown up.

RA Announcements

The Wet Dream Team spokesmen Flatulence, Shaggy Haggis, Wet Dreams and Cock Roach where called in to the centre to take their weekend glory and lead the hash in the singing of “Wet Dreams”

Wet Dreams are sticky like this
Hashers will not disagree
I travel the World and Bagamoyo Cesspit
Hashers everywhere looking for Beer
Flatulence wants to Gas it
Head Gasket wants to blow his top
Wet Dreams want to abuse it
Boogie Boobs wants to be abused

Wet Dreams are sticky like this
Hashers will not disagree
I travel the World and Bagamoyo Cesspit
Hashers everywhere looking for Beer
Easy Let wants to rent it
Camp Bed wants to Be-e laid
Cockroach wants to tie it
Spitz N’ Swallows sounds abused

Wet Dreams are sticky like this
Hashers will not disagree
I travel the World and Bagamoyo Cesspit
Hashers everywhere looking for Beer
Shaggy Haggis wants to pull the yanks
Boxer wants to hit the front
Horny Goat had her keys abused

The Forgetful

A handbag; some suspicious looking Lime Cordial, which apparently the Prawn was donating the hash for a toast to Big Lee and was in fact Vodka, Lime and Soda; Sunglasses; Hash t-shirtsx2; the official hash songs folder – Flatulence this might be useful to create your official website and finally a 1,000TSH fanta bill put on the room of My Little Pony. Boogie Boobs was made to pay the bill despite sleeping through the whole event. This was found to be Close Encounter’s bill despite an Enema Queen’s look-alike taking the wrap but that does not explain what Close Encounters where going on in My Little Pony’s Room and why some people tried to cover them up...

Horny Goat’s keys where found.

Candyman however, still a little sore about coming last in the relay to Bagamoyo brings new evidence to the court of Hash. On the reverse of the scoring sheets as large as life are two yellow post-its. Now to compile the evidence those of you who are paying attention will notice from Sunday that yellow appears to be our un-official time keeper Late Cummer’s favourite colour. These post-its read “Collect big bribe from Wet Dreams” and “Make sure Candy Warriors come last” Unfortunately these post-its cannot be examined by anyone else other than Candyman as they are due to be sent off to NASA for DNA and handwriting compatibility tests, undoubtedly they will come back positive for Wet Dreams, excuse me I mean favouritism. But when all is said and done, the Candywarriors where beaten by an 11 year old so that does rather take all seriousness out of their claims to the title. So much so that Dominatrix felt the need to shout in the court of the Hash that they where in fact losers!

To top the weekend’s vehicle incidents off Mr. Shithole was going south on Nasty Pasty in Late Cummer’s car when they where rammed by a crazed Dalla Dalla on drugs, this resulted in just a bit more damage to Late Cummer’s car this weekend, it didn’t quite match the red dint that had appeared on the opposite side of the car but it did exceed it in cost of repair! The Car damaged few of the weekend where then brought into the circle listing Nasty Pasty, Mr. Shithole, Easy Let and Cockroach, not bad going for one weekend me thinks. Reports on the Motor biker is that he has managed to get away with only one broken wrist and is generally OK – sending a healthy recovery wishes from all.

A final hash vodka shot was done by all for Big Lee. The memorial service was to be held as per the emails at 3pm on Tuesday afternoon.

It was then the turn of the pirates in the circle. While Horny Goat and Rubber Bum made it safely to loot the boat full of beer, wine and fine food, when the dingy returned to collect Flatulence and Late Cummer it spitted and spluttered up to the beach and ran out of get away juice. So Late Cummer and Flatulence drove half way back to Dar to find fuel but in the meantime ran into Kikwete’s possy and being the likely lads they where Flatulence was topless and Late Cummer was drinking at the wheel. 80,000TSH later and Mr Bombastic thinks they are Hash Heroes.


Shi-shi was caught quite literally with her pants down with the runners trots on the relay to Bagamoyo. Poor Shi-shi never even stood a chance it seemed pre-determined that her new name would be Forest Dump!

What followed was largely along the lines of Downs downs to the sponsors, communion of amarula drinking. A down down to the returnees such as Mr Bean. Old, new and acting GMs – Mr Bean, Wet Dreams, Ripper, Eric the Prawn, Cockroach , Camp Bed and Dominatrix. Next weeks shameless skivers where named as Forest Dump, Mr Bean, Mr Shithole and PIA Tara a bit.

Hash shit

Detached Member – Not sending the shit from the weekend with the other marines.
Candy man – late to the hash when he was the team captain on Saturday.
Wet Dreams – was nominated by Boogie Boobs for knowing where the Golding’s shower cape went, and could possibly be hash hero.
Rubber Bum – a 12 year old new comer to the Dar HHH from Thailand called Duracell with her cute little smile decided to say that Rubber Bum was wearing sandals in the circle.
Boogie Boobs – was sleeping when the bill was paid.

Rubber bum was the winner and Mr Shithole presented the Hash shit with a new necklace, no not a pearl one but a Maasai looking phallus.

A big thank you to our sponsors!

On On

Rubber Bum

Trash 1308

Hash Trash Run 1308
12 April 2009 at Hondo Hondo Camp site in Udzungwa

The hash on Sunday morning was clearly a recovery run – it was mainly a walk for everyone.
The GM opened up and called Prawn to be the RA of the day. The RA went back to yesterdays Hash Shits that had been poor in their performance – carrying their grassy crowns and thought they would get away with this. The RA thought they should be properly nailed to some trees – but as a milder punishment they were awarded a down-down, but to be drunk with their arms outstretched – to remind us of the cross….

From the night some misdemeanours were called, Camp Bed and Shaggy Haggins had been keeping up the noise for all night; Beach Balls had shown off his dancing skills – a new Michel Jackson?

Sassie Assie, Saddle Sore, Camp Bed and Shaggy Haggins ware all part of the singing “Swing Low” and we joined in the final song.

Trash 1307

Hash Trash Run 1307
11 April 2009 at Hondo Hondo Camp site in Udzungwa

The GM welcomed the fellow hashers to the 1307 run of Dar es Salaam Hash and called the hares into the circle. The hares, Fat Bastard and Flatulence seemed a bit weak after the days exercise and Fat Bastard asked to borrow the GM’s hash name for a while…

Gollum was called to give his verdict about the run and gave a “very confusing” comment while Paul called the walk “quite good and very wet”

There will be another run tomorrow and it was declared that Fat Bastard and Flatulence will make sure we get lost again.

Fat Bastard reminded us of the pure amber we are drinking and the hashers merrily sang “Warm Safari”. She was however in a hurry to drink it down and was rewarded with another one

Mr S.., was called as the Religious Adviser and called some misdemeanours into the circle. It was soon clear that a number of “responsible hashers” had been speeding in their eagerness to reach Udzungwa and been fined…. Not heroes was the verdict

Flatulence was called and we learnt about some drama in the morning when the car keys were found in a puddle on the floor – with a remote. The RA also pointed out that he had never seen such a lost hare during a run but fortunately he had been rescued by Head Gasket consistently shouting on-on and getting us all back on track.

RA then went to the Family Theme and called a Spare-part into the circle. He had managed to plough straight through a house. Mattias and Gollum were awarded a down-down for running as Wrecking Balls.

Paul named a flock of wild women, Anne-Claire, Fat Bastard, Sassie Assie and Nasty Pasty into the circle for making a mess at the back of the walk.

Beach Balls was called into the circle as a consistent offender – he was using his phone during the run and in the circle….

The RA welcomed four newcomers, Emmanuel from Mangula, Oliver and Hannah from Middleborough and Mark from Camberwell, London and they were given a welcoming song under guidance of the RA and MLP and Saddle Sore.

The GM took over wanted to plant a seed in everyone (or only some?) to use our heads and come up with a proper name for Paul who had brought all the ice and driven the beer truck etc. The proposals were many but finally the RA was called back and baptised Paul to for ever be called “Shaggy Haggis”.

Secondly the Spare part Mattias was called and unanimously given the name “Wrecking Ball” for his destructive path through the village. The famous and wet song “Arusha” followed….

The hash was missing the regalia for Hash Shit but a number of candidates were called. Shaggy Haggis for being a water thief, Gollum for being a front runner, Wrecking Ball for his destruction of the village, Head Gasket for some obscure abuse, Flatulence for getting us all lost. Everyone was voted as winner and to wear their own crown of grass for tomorrows run.

Wrecking Balls was called back for wasting Safari and Animal Queen administered a horizontal down-down. Virgins were called and after the final song we all went for a well deserved meal.

On-On, Spare

Trash 1305

Hash Trash

Run 1305, April 6th, 2009, hosted by Susan from the home of Raj.
Hares: Susan and Tiny Sausage

It all started as a family business, with several hashers bringing their kids along. Some returnees were there too, as well as four virgins. A nice big group with new faces. However, with the wet roads and the heavy traffic, a few late comers missed the start and walked with Raj directly to the beer stop…. which was late too…Runners had to sing silly songs and dance “Father Abraham” at a busy and muddy corner, while waiting for the beer to arrive.

Back to Raj’s home, the circle started with announcements. First: Those willing to join the Easter weekend in Udzungwa Mountains were reminded to pay on the spot the full amount, to Hot Safari, My Little Poney, Fat Bastard, or Saddle Sore. Secondly, Boogie Boobs announced the highly expected Bagamoyo Relay, organised on May 16 and 17, with good team spirit, drinking, running, walking, cycling and so on. Accommodation was limited, so hashers should sign up soon. The dream leaders’ team joined the centre of the circle: Candy Man, Wet Dream, Head Gasket, a substitute for Bump Tee Tee, and Tiny Sausage & Susan as substitutes for the Kenyans. Hashers should get prepared!

The hares (Susan for the walkers and Tiny Sausage for the runners) were then submitted to the people’s judgement, expressed by Aïe Aïe Aïe and Spare Part. I, poor little French, didn’t really grasp the judgement because, by then, the booze was flowing, hashers were getting confused, and the generator was working at full speed – making lots of noise. I think I heard “the walk was perfect” and “the runners got lost”. Or is it the other way around? Susan was blamed for having been busier looking for the beer stop than after the walkers. Tiny Sausage complained that there was absolutely no paper on the run, because some hasher and GM had failed to provide the paper. All “old” GMs were called to the circle as punishment: Captain Skid Mark, Boogie Boobs, Wet dream, Tiny Sausage, Camp Bed, as well as Susan and Saddle Sore. Beach Balls was blamed for not wearing running shorts nor shoes. Shishi, Kate (?) and Jacky, for not wearing a H tee shirt, and one of them for being sexy on the H (sorry, I didn’t grasp the name, but she will recognise herself). Returnees were invited to join the circle for a drink: Night Rider, Jackie, Shishi, Hot Safari, Candy Blower, Captain Something, Spare Lots, Renette (sorry for possible mistakes, confusion was getting really bad by then…)

Then the four virgins:
1. Chris Bin, was brought here by Night Rider, said he was originally Tanzanian but Night rider said he was lying and from Minnesota, favourite s/x position: Crossroad. A choir of ladies asked for a demonstration but was sent back to their imagination.
2. Wolfgang, from Germany, brought by Nimbless. “Any position will do”.
3. Leila, from Tanzania, brought by Willbarrow. Ouuuhh….sorry….., I didn’t hear the favourite s/x position.
4. Johanna, from England, brought by Scottish Birthday Cake (I realise this is an unusually soft H name so I might have got it wrong, sorry again…). Favourite position: Soixante-neuf (en francais dans le texte).

Then was the time for Susan to receive her H name. Hints were: she is a lawyer, engaged to a biker, and a bit of a prude – according to her friend. Proposals were: Hot briefs, lawyer bits, briefs on fire, Get me off!, Easy Lay, Slutty Susie, Muffy briefs, hairy briefs, sticky briefs, Sugar Mummy, Madam Parliamentary, Denis’ brief and briefing counter. Susie got on her knees and received the name “Get me off!” with a beer shower.

As for the nomination of the Hash Shit, the nominees were: Tiny sausage, for loosing the hash beer, Late comer, for not being able to organise this H properly, Beach Balls for being on the phone, Jubilee, who had been a hasher for many years and still didn’t know how to behave, Get Me Off for having a shower on the H, Wet Dream, for being silly, Spare Part for I don’t know what reason, a few others who I couldn’t get track of, and Stiff Cocktail, for not having brought back the hash shit clothes of last week and for being unable to tell where they had disappeared. And the winner was: Stiff Cocktail, for the second time in a row. Saddle Sore kindly gave a sexy night dress as costume for this time, while waiting for more to come next time.

The Virgins were called back for a final “Swing low sweat chariot”, before the –good- buffet opened.

PS: The night was still young and a bunch of hashers went to the pub quiz. Putting all our talents together, including Candy Man’s drinking ability, we won a bottle of whiskey, which we proudly shared. Don’t ask me what happened next, I don’t know.

Next Monday, Horny Goat and T&F will host the H from the Chinese Village (please check for confirmation).

On On!

A.C. (aka FoxyPussy)

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Hash Trash

  1. Hash Trash 1562
    Wed 29 of May, 2013 19:20 EAT
  2. Hash Trash 1561 (Again?)
    Wed 29 of May, 2013 19:18 EAT
  3. Hash Trash 1561
    Mon 13 of May, 2013 21:29 EAT
  4. Hash Trash 1560
    Mon 06 of May, 2013 17:38 EAT

 Failed to execute “top_quizzes” module

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