HASH TRASH
Run No.1273 1 September 2008
Venue: Hooker and Dhow Bar, Msasani
Hares: Nutcracker, Boxer, Candyblower

The GM (Candyman) announced the passing away of Boogie Boobs’s Dad, Joe. Prawn paid tribute to him, and hashers observed a minutes silence. Other, happier, announcements included the Morogoro Hash Weakend on 18 October (names to PantyPockets) and Proms in the Park on 13 September - the latter seems a tad jingoistic to me, but it is in a very good cause - Nutcracker explained that all proceeds will go to a charity that supports victims of female genital mutilation, but warned that the cut-off point for tickets was the 9th September - not the most felicitous choice of words in the circumstances. Hashers sang “Hashy Birthday” to Irena who claimed to be 40 years old (Sounds like, Sounds Like, ....). CampBed, when asked what he thought of the walk, said it was “very nice”. VERY NICE! - is that the best you can do CampBed? - after that expensive Harvard education your parents scrimped and saved for all those years. “Very nice” is what you say to your aunt when you open the ghastly present she has given you for Christmas.

Prawn was the guest RA, and, as always, he was good value for money, though he sailed a little close to the wind at times. He had the birthday girl Irena tuck Torsten’s Friend under her armpit (tho thats not really where it is meant to go) while he poured a down down into her. There were no less than 9 Virgins, including a Belge, a West Coast girl who had come to the Hash to find a man to lie on top of her, and Stefan who is into the sex business - and not forgetting Richard (Wingco) who for the second time was attending a Hash inappropriately dressed - the RA concluded that he must have learning difficulties and gave him a horizontal down down - cutely poured by SlappA. But, enough of these dashes, let’s get back to proper sentences. There were quite a few Returnees. One was a three-times GM (Uganda, Jamaica, and ?) called Slapper (no relation) who tried to claim that his status gave him immunity from all Hash rules, but Candyman wasn’t having any, and made him repeat his down down. Krystal and Daniel were thanked for throwing open the Hooker and Dhow to be trashed by the Hash. And then, lo and behold, it was Hashit time. Candidates were Irena-the-birthday-girl, Bagobones for not giving the GM the credit he thinks he deserves, and Nutcracker for her cutting remarks. This was a no-brainer - so it went to Nutrcracker. And then the Circle ended with that cottonpickin’ song.

Editors Apologia: The Hash Trash is renowned for its adherence to the highest journalistic standards, so it is with profound regret that I confirm that there was an error in Trash 1272. It was reported that Knight Support had donated an almost completely useless First Aid Kit to the Hash. Although the Trash was quoting the GM verbatim, this statement was incorrect. It was Ultimate Security who donated the almost completely useless First Aid Kit to the Hash. On behalf of the whole editorial team I wish to apologise unreservedly to Knight Support for this unwarranted slur on their reputation.

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BoB