HASH TRASH
Run No. 1264 6 July 2008
Venue: Wet Dream and BB’s beach hideaway, Kimbichi
Hares: Wet Dream, Squirrel, Candyman, Mr F’ing Nobody

The venue wasn’t called a “beach hideaway” for nothing, and various disorientated hashers, not to mention chemical toilets & My Little Pony, went gaily to and fro along the main road looking for the turn-off. It was worth finding though; a quiet (?) shady spot with a view out over a stunningly beautiful beach towards Indonesia (well thats what Squirrel told me and he should know - having crossed that ocean under sail). It was a good run - and so it should have been with four of the most experienced of Dar hashers setting it. The tall grass made things awkward for the more vertically-challenged Hashers, not to mention SlappA (oh, sorry, I just did).The beer stop at the lighthouse was positively life enhancing and then we ran / strolled back along the beach. Wonderful.

The Circle was a bit of a down downer after such a great run, but the following caused little titters (no, not Panty Pockets or Nutcracker) to ripple round the thong:
Mother Immoral declaring that she would have to use the wide-angle setting on her camera to get a photo of SlappA
Candyman insisting that his T-shirt is “cerise” not pink
My Little Disaster (ex M L Pony)
Bumtitty wearing cute pink CROCS
Boxer wearing green wellies - which were duly christened in the time-honoured manner
the bashfulness of the assorted Virgins, including Alex, Barney, Simon, Ricardo, and the lovely Mette from Norway
Boogie Boobs joining SlappA in her T-shirt in order to warm herself up ??
Hoity Toity people (notably CampBed and S & S) who camped upwind of the hoi polloi - and got their come-uppance
The Hashit went to My Little Disaster for his truly appalling performance the night before (according to Hannah, who should know). As a memento of his appallingness he was given a cross-eyed wooden phallus which he can hold in perpetuity. The Circle ended with a song.

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Run No. 1265 7 July 2008
Venue: Wet Dream and BB’s beach hideaway, Kimbichi
Hares: Wet Dream, Squirrel, and Klingon

The hare of the dog run burst into life (?) at the crack of 9.30. Runners were thin on the ground, but a few stalwart Zambians joined in despite having just endured half of a lifetime on the slow train from Kapiri Mposhi. Father Abraham put in a welcome appearance at one point. Wet Dream was chick-teasing while running, and SlappA (who had already suffered plenty of abuse from other people) declaimed angrily “The crap that I have to take from the GM!!” At one point we were told by the Hares to make sure that we ran on new paper not yesterdays. Another great finish along the beach.

Wet Dream introduced the Zambian’s Hash Master - Aged Lothario - and handed over to our RA. He brought in those two well-known Metrosexuals - Alex and Barney - for having sex on the Hash (Barney was caught naked in a compromising position with a musical instrument). Morocco got a down down for screaming in the night, as did Aged Lothario for losing his wife no less than three times. Then there was Marabou who urinated in Singapore’s tent, and Buju who was surprised to find that the sea is salty. We were treated to a very impressive demonstration of SQUITTING. Not to be outdone, Begging for It also squitted for us (where and why do girls learn these tricks? - and what other dirty tricks may they be capable of?). Aged Lothario baptised two of his flock: Sheila became Bin Breeding and Marion became Viagra. And on our side Hannah becomes Saddlesore. The Hashit went three ways: to My Little Pony - for being My Little Pony basically; Candyman for not being properly dressed, and Morocco for being too loud even for the Hash.

It pains me to have to praise the GM, but he and his motley crew must be given top marks for organising a cracking Hash weekend.
On On
BoB
Erratum: for “thong” read “throng”