Hash Trash 1531
3 December 2012
Venue: Jackie’s Bar
Hares: Tiny Sausage, Second Cumming
GM: Cockroach
RA: Shaggy Haggis

An awfy fine trail from Tiny Sausage, and awfy sweaty too. ManEater complained about the length of it, and some of the more high-minded Hashers took this to be a reference to the walking trail. Next Weeks Hash will be hosted by DumbAss in Regent Estate.
MissDemeanours included Hand Job and Finger Pluckin’ Good (FPG) for wanting to be pre-lubricated, Squirrel for trying to throw Inspector Gadget’s bitch (who’s a boy actually) under a bus, and Just Jeshua for wearing a silly Christmas hat – the aforesaid silly hat being quickly converted into a funnel through which his Down Down was poured into his open horrofice. Kili Ndogo was in deep doo doo for wearing his Crocs rather than his new trainers (he’s not as gormless as he looks). Returnees included Boogie Boobs, Wet Dream, Hand Job, FPG, Bradley Friggins, and Big Dick. Departees included Nutcracker, Tilly Willy, Just Nick, ManEater, and Second Cumming. Or the other way round – suit yourself – I don’t care. So many Virgins, so little time – this week it was the turn of the Boys from Buguruni together with Just Judith, their Mother Superior. Only Harry (predictably) could have come up with the FSP of ‘The Snivelling Turtle’ and when told to demonstrate it, he got himself in an awfy tangle with Tootsi and Boogie Boobs. Just Judith whispered her FSP into Shaggy’s ear, at which point he started foaming at the mouth (and maybe elsewhere). Second Cumming couldn’t get his Down Down down in time so he threw the rest over his head, forgetting (or did he? that is the question) that Sparkle was astride his shoulders. She wasn’t best pleased, though I reckon her hair needed a wash anyway. Needless to say (though I shall do anyway) there was a chorus of ‘CHILD ABUSE !!!’ from outraged Hashers. With all the humility that he could muster (which wasn’t much) Second Cumming nominated himself for Hashit, and, although he tried to make a contest of it by fingering BoB for writing a biased Trash (yet another attack on press freedom in East Africa, Ed), it didn’t wash with Hashers. And so it came to pass that Second Cumming was awarded the Hashit. Finally, as in all the best Circles, we sang Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.
Jackie’s mishkaki is to die for, and I had three – but then I am part of the Mismanagement team (sic). You too could enjoy such privileges, if you volunteer your services. Extreme incompetence is no bar to office, as you will have noticed.
Note: Mismanagement want to make it clear that no adults were harmed in the making of this Hash - just dogs and children
On On
BoB