HASH TRASH
Run No. 1432
Venue: The Lunatic Asylum
Hares: Castrato, Nutzy Crunch, Panty Pockets
Grandmaster: Cockroach
Religious Advisor: The Perkle aka Candyman

Fancy asking a Virgin what he thought of the run - of course he said it was ‘very good’ - compared to what exactly? I can tell you - it was long, and I’ll bet a penny to a pound that Castrato hadn’t completed a Risk Assessment Form beforehand. Donkey Bonker said the walkers trail was suspiciously similar to Nutzy’s morning constitutional... i.e. crap...said someone.........I just write the stuff down.

NWH will be at Triniti (sic) Bar in the Deep South. It will be Candyman’s birthday and he has very generously agreed to provide the chocolate cake. The Easter Hash will be on Friday 22nd April - all part of another Udzungwa Experience. Options include luxury tents, tents, tarpaulins strung from a tree, scrapes in the ground, and sleeping under your car. Sign up and pay SharkKiller now or else. The St Georges Ball is on the 7th May. You have been warned.

It felt more like a Prayer Meeting than a Hash Circle ...wot with no Shaggy, no Flatulence, no Head Gasket and no Close Encounters,...... and the RA didn’t exactly set the congregation alight. Still, he did the needful: late cummin bastards such as Cockroach, Wounded Knee and Nurse Ratched were punished, as were :
...FRBs - Banzai, Castrato and Nutzy,
...Bottom dwelling bastards - SharkKiller and assorted Harriettes
...Inappropriately dressed / pelmet wearers - SharkKiller
...NSOTH - Nutcracker and Squirrel
Castrato demonstrated that he hasn’t yet grasped how to do a Down Down. Fortunately, Bonkey Donk was on hand to show him, and she did such a good job of it that she has now been appointed Official Hash Down Down Demonstrator - she had a busy night and was well awash the last time I saw her.

Virgin Mike’s FSP involves going online - he’s just the sort of sad bastard that the Hash appeals to. Virgin Palan told us that she comes from the Essex part of London (sic) - at which Gary Glitter spluttered “Are there really any Virgins in Essex?.” Mancuff and Huge Heifer have had dental problems - did we need to know? .. is this really what the Hash Circle has come to? But finally it was Hashit time, for which there was very little enthusiasm. Panty Pockets was nominated, cos she’s dumb, ...and she gotta lotta votes, but the GM didn’t have the bottle to award it someone as old as his granny, so he dumped it by default on SharkKiller in her guise as Boring’s understudy. And as someone said, “Boring has never looked so good”. We all sang SLSC.

On On
BoB