HASH TRASH
Run No. 1430 no, it’s 1431
Venue: Takka’s Truck Stop
Hares: TakkaTrucker, Close Encounters, Panty Pockets
Grandmaster: Cockroach
Religious Advisor: Shaggy Haggis

Long, fun, tiring, dark, they said. But champagne at the Beer Stops in celebration of TakkaTrucker’s 21st birthday - classy. Haven’t been to many Hashes before where the traditional running order is turned arse over tit, just because a Virgin has to leave early .....Wet Dream must be turning in his grave (What! - he’s not dead yet? oh sorry). Anyway, Reema from Nairobbery took a long time trying to come up with her FSP before confessing to liking being the ‘good ole girl on top’ ......of her husband Kishan - so she claims anyway. When asked for a note, Foxy looked confused and flushed - turns out she was having a wet dream about Reema & Kishan. Well it beats listening to the GM any day, but so early in the proceedings?

NWH is at the Funny Farm. The Easter Hash will be at Easter. The Walk for Water will be on land. Panty has been getting at Shaggy to keep it short (sic) so his bright idea was that we should sing the Hash songs at a faster tempo. He ritualised Twitcher, Wounded Knee, Close Encounters, Head Gasket, Mancuff, Desperate, Nurse Ratched, Foxy Pussy, Easy Let, Get Me Off, Sparkle and BagOBones. They must have been Latecummers, Returnees, Departees, Miscreants, Militants, or Assorted Degenerates. Who cares which?

Tears welled up as the Circle came to realise that this would be Close Encounters’s last Hash. We will sorely miss this ‘Queen of the Private Parties,’ but we’ll be able to hear the Grand Master more easily (if you are not having a wet dream that is). She has always been very good value: - who remembers the time she sent the runners through a waist-high deep open sewer, and we all had to go to IST afterwards to get checked out? - or the time she threw a bottle of water at Mr Sh**hole and it hit him in the face? - or, the event which has gone into the anals of the Dar Hash, when she ran so fast in a Bongoyo race that she left her bikini bottoms behind? (Over the years the Scribe has got a lot of mileage out of her bottom...Ed ).

The GM called Master Luqman into the Circle, but he desperately needed to point percy at the porcelain so he was excused. On returning he was named GOTTA GO. I never thought that after a months absence from the Hash the saga of Flatulence’s Speedoes would still be ongoing. A reward has now been offered for information leading to the recovery of the same - it’s a date with Hornigoat at Coral Ridge Spur. Candidates for Hashit were TakkaTrucker, F*** Off, and the Private Party Queens, but it went to Boring by default. And as in all the best Circles we ended with SLSC.

On On
BoB