Hash Trash 1429 – April Fools Hash at Golding Beach House

Hares: Cockroach, Wet Dream

GM: Cockroach

RA: Shaggy Haggis

Scribe: Shark Killer

Nut Cracker is back! And she made it be known by volunteering to talk about the run non stop until Safari song was started to shush her. Panty Pockets said the walk was mysterious and rickety but much to Wet Dream’s disappointment, nobody fell into any pools.

Cockroach went on about the math of the last run at the location being the 1400 (it was actually the 1401) and that this was the 1428 so 14 X 2 = 28 etc (it was actually the 1429).

NWH – Taka Tracker as bait for date for people to bring kites. (She had some advice about which route to take, but it’s Wednesday now so eh).

English Ball – 7th May

Misdemeanors:

Forgetful bastards: Shark Killer and Umbilical (car key – obviously it wasn’t her fault)

Inappropriately dressed: Take Tracker (non hash kikoy), Shark Killer (tiny dress but with hash kikoy), Twitcher, Flavour Saver and Boring (half naked).

Head Gasket was late, Squirrel got stuck and Bonzai rescued people that got lost. Nut Cracker sent Boogie Boobs into the bush to check if something that looked like a snake was a snake before she went in.

Returnees: Panty Pockets (weee), Nut Cracker (loo), Easy Let (working and claimed to be partying)

Visitors:

Neil (Bandage) from Belfast who came with Umbilical and likes any FSP as long as he gets some.

Wet Dream and Boogie Boobs got down downs for being wonderful hosts as always.

Boring told an “epic” tale of his April fools joke, where his mother believed that a lion mauled his teacher in the middle of the lecture hall at UDSM. It tells as much about his mother as it does about him.

Hashit:

Boring for going over crop field twice

Head Gasket for no tent and being late

Wet Dream because Boring is stupid

Of course Boring got the honour, for being so bloody boring.

On on

Shark Killer

Hash Trash 1430 – Beach

Hares: Cockroach, Wet Dream

GM: Cockroach

RA: Shaggy Haggis

Scribe: Shark Killer

Hot, hot, hot

Heaps of misdemeanours from Bonfire!

Shaggy was DJing, Shark Killer and Twitcher were shaking ass, Shaggy tried to copy Shark Killer’s moves and Umbilical did a better job of it, but we suspect he’s had private coaching. Easy Let or not so easy let played a “motherly” figure trying to look after other hashers like she does with our beloved GM.

Just Helena (ASWTK) and Just Amanda got some girl on girl action skinny dipping in the ocean. Boring tried to intrude but was unwelcome.

Desperate’s tent zip opened, somebody peed right outside her tent, and then the zip closed. We were at a loss as to who it was that couldn’t have moved a wee bit further away.

Something to do with plasters (Bandage) played Hash Hero keeping barbed wire away from runners, as Wet Dream did for walkers

Twitcher arranged tents and collected payments and made a success of April Fools hash, so was awarded with a down down.

People stripped on beach – we didn’t see any pockets but we saw panties on Panty Pockets, Desperate, Wet Dream and Kili Dogo (thank god for small mercies)

Inappropriately dressed: Twitcher, Shark Killer, Easy Let, Bandage, Just Jenifer (ASWTK), Foxy Pussy, Just Amanda, Just Helena and Flavour Saver (who kills sharks using his teeth as opposed to Shark Killer who uses poisonous venom).

Sitting in circle: Helena (hung over), Nut Cracker (shagging all night)

Naming:

Jenifer – Silent Stroker

Helena – Liquor Lover

Hashit:

Boring for not wearing gear

Twitcher for being hash haberdasher and not wearing hash gear (saved by the bell)

Taka Tracker (late nominee) for having 47 showers and changing her clothes as many times

Take Tracker won coz of the difference between how she and the other hashers looked.

On on

Shark Killer