HASH TRASH
Run No. 1420
Venue: Twitcher’s Nest
Hares: Twitcher, SharkKiller, Wet Dream
Grandmaster: Cockroach
Religious Advisor: Undertaker

Finish on Top said the run was ‘funny’ (sic) and Wonderlust reckoned the walk was ‘twisty’. Perhaps we should switch to scoring Hashes out of ten. I reckon the run was a 7.7. Any road, the next Hash is in Stonetown on Saturday afternoon - meet at the Big Tree at 2.45. Mentioning no names (where is Pleasure Centre these days?) but please dress conservatively (smart casual, national dress is ok, but no kilts) so as not to offend the sensibilities of any Stonetownians who are not having a well-earned siesta. The next Hash after that - on Monday - is when you can / must wear your RED dress. The GM, amused by a press report that Malawi is banning farting, called on Flatulence to choose two other windy Hashers to partake of Down-Downs. For reasons known only to him he chose Foxy Pussy and SharkKiller. The Guest RA - Undertaker - had his work cut out humiliating a whole load of Virgins which Castrato had had shipped across the pond - probably cyberwarriors. Truly amazing that there was not a reverse cowgirl amongst them - instead we had rabbit style (which Shaggy reckons is doggy style but faster), donkey (Wet Dream trying to surreptiously Google this on his Blackberry) and golden shower. As for their names, well I remember there was an Yvonne - as in “Yvonne yer knickers yer mother’s coming” but just then Sparkle spilt some Fanta on my notebook and everything has gone a bit blurry. Departees / returnees included Legless (really), Wonderlust, BagOBones and Squirrel. Somebodybody had been telling tales about BagOBones enjoying himself away from the Hash, so he was told to collect two Virgins and take the Triple - which he did (it’s the nearest to a threesome that he’ll ever get - Ed.). Awarding the Hashit was the usual circumlocutory farrago. How is it that the GM was previously awarded the Hashit ? - this would never have happened under the Wet Dream regime. Any road, the Hashit went to Shaggy for being a greedy pig. And the Circle ended, not a moment too soon, with SLSC.

On On
BoB