HASH TRASH
Run No. 1397
Venue: Valhalla
Hares: Arse Liquor, Castratus, Spits and Swallows, Panty Pockets
Grandmaster: Cockroach
Religious Advisor: The Perkle

You would think the local residents would be very blase about Hashers by now, but there seemed to be more than the usual amount of “staring in disbelief’ on this Hash - all became clear when I ran abreast of Pleasure Centre, as she was wearing an off-the-shoulder number that looked as though it would imminently become an off-both-shoulders-and-the-rest number. Talking of decolletage (as you do), Easy Let was all got up in a cracking Arabian Nights costume, but sadly the RA missed the opportunity to get her to do the dance that went with it.

I have written before in these hallowed pages (cf Trash 959) how I sleep well at night knowing that Spits is on duty watching out for threats to world peace, so you can imagine how horrified I was to learn that she cannot read a map! When given a map to guide the walky talkies on their little stroll, she got it completely a... over t..! Fortunately there were others less navigationally-challenged (yes, I do mean you, Dominatrix) to keep everyone on track. As for me, I guess it’s back to the sleeping tablets.

Now where were we? Ah yes, Valhalla. CampBed - a virgin runner - said the run had broken his balls and had anyone got a Band-Aid? EasyLet said the walk was dusty, but it was good on the hole (no, we won’t go there). NWH will be at Windy Towers and will beset by those three well-known Hash Incontinents (I think you mean ‘Incompetents’ - Ed No, I know what I mean - Scribe) Flatulence, HorniGoat and Haggy Shaggis. There were interminable announcements of important events including in no particular order or accuracy: Arse Liquor’s Leaving Thrash at F.I.N’s old house this Saturday starting 1900, a St George’s Treasure Hunt on Sunday morning at 1000 at Oysterbay SC, TANZACAT, the 1400th Hash at Wet Dream’s Beach Palace on 9th October, MLP’s birthday on October 13th (free drinks all round), somebody’s Annual Ball at the Little Theatre on October 16th, Halloween, November the 5th and 6th, the Marine Corps Ball, Christmas, New Year, the Mactilda Hash on 23nd January, and the All Africa Hash on 6/7 May in Addis.

There was a morass of LateComers, Departees, Premature Finishers, Returnees, Virgins and The Inappropriately Dressed, but I do remember Jesus in his RA RA skirt, Alice (who the .... is Alice?) liking to do it on her tummy, and the welcome return of Nutcracker. But of course the big story of the night was that it was the last Hash of Arse Liquor - call him what you will - Freddie, Lady Gaga, King of the Piss Artists, Obama’s Secret Weapon - he gave us a helluva lot of laughs during his short time with us. Years from now, some grizzled old Hasher (Kilin’dogo?) will still be talking of when AL gave us the “Alabama Crabdangler’. Go well - we will surely miss you.

The Hashit went to Pleasure Centre for teasing everyone with hectares of bare flesh, and she had the brass neck to put the red soutien-gorge on Pleasure Pooch. (I hope Foxy appreciates all this week’s frog stuff - Ed) And the Circle ended with SLSC.

On On
BoB