Hash Trash
Run No. 1395
Venue: Rock Garden, Morogoro
Hares: Wet Dream, Cockroach, Panty Pockets
Grandmaster: Cockroach
Religious Advisor: The Perkle

Just Douglas (as he was then known) said that the run was rocky, stretchy and good fun, though I reckon Wet Dream is losing his grip, as he didn’t con anywhere near as many Hashers as usual to go up the near-vertical cliff. And as one who remembers being conned by him in the past, I like to see lots of others befall the same fate. To be fair though, he did his best to get us all arrested for pissing about in the waterworks, and, if it hadn’t been for Banzai’s diplomatic skills, we might all be still languishing in Morogoro Jail.

The GM kicked off the proceedings by pulling out of his bag a selection of thongs, anal floss, and sundry other pieces of female underwear that he claimed to have found in his bed when he woke up. The only Harriette brave enough to own up to owning any of them was Sparkle, and she called in Gypsy Queen, Takkatrakka, and Twitcher to join her in the Down Down. Anemone Queen (I just write it as the GM says it) and Tina (a.s.w.t.k.) were called to explain the strange noises they were making in the middle of the night. Kilin’Dago, Turtle and Sparkle were thanked for clearing up the mess. The RA had a rant about breakfast - with Candblower allegedly failing to deliver on her promise of The Big Breakfast, and Spits making everyone queasy with her bacon and peanut butter sandwich. There was a Fish Song from Get Me Off, Twin Peaks, Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, and Nuts4Love, as well as a new version of the Father Abraham song. It was announced that the much-anticipated Battle of the Dickheads had been won very convincingly by Get Me Off, who blew her opponent (Flatulence) clean out of the ring. She is our new Queen of the Dong. Just Douglas was renamed LEGLESS, and Tina was named CENTREFOLD. The Hashit went to AC/DC for caring so much about her appearance on the Hash that she was searching desperately for an iron at 6 a.m. on a Sunday morning. I ask you.

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BoB