HASH TRASH
Run No. 1378
Venue: Jackie’s bar
Hares: Arse Liquor, Nits for Love
Grandmaster: Cockroach
Religious Advisor: Shaggy Haggis

Unusually, it was a Live Hare run. By tradition, if you catch the Hare, you get to strip them, so perhaps this accounts for the great hurry everyone was in - with no holding of checks, and much racing. I could have understood it if we had been chasing the Walking Hare, but the thought of what a Marine has under his shorts doesn’t bear thinking about. Foxy Pussy pitched up breathless at the beer stop, and the pack, kind souls that they are, welcomed her with the Hash version of the French national anthem. Any road, Dumbass said the run was “sweet” SWEET ?*!!* Our Trailmaster promised us that next weeks Hash will be an amazing affair at a mystery location, which as every seasoned Hasher knows is a euphemism for “I haven’t got a fu**in clue”. This brought back fond memories of our last Trailmaster, who scaled the pinnacles of ineptitude, and relied on his insouciant charm to get him out of trouble. Arse Liquor (who I understand doubles as the American Cultural Attache) told us that the Thirsty Thursday Movie Nights have been reinstated by popular demand - starting 17.30 precisely at the Marine House - it is easy to get in - just show the guards at the gate your jerry can. Dominatrix tried to tell us about some big drama at the IST Theatre, but she had lost the plot, the title, the cast, the date of the performance, and whether parental guidance is needed - it amazes me how she finds her way to school every day.

Shaggy was the stand-in RA, on account of the Perkle having caught the pox (I reckon it was those Swiss girls he pulled at the Bongoyo Hash). He started off by castigating Dominatrix for confusing her nipper - Charley - about her gender. Sadly, this proved to be the high point of his lucidity, and after that his all-too-familiar tergiversatious ramblings got worse and worse - or as he would have it.......”wurss and wurss”. At various times the Circle was occupied by Desperate, Boxer, Head Gasket, Vince, Elephant Balls, Foxy Pussy, Arse Liquor, Just Lealah, Panty Pockets, Nutcracker, Squirrel, Wounded Knee, and Poptart, but why they were there is anybody’s guess. And does anyone care? Virgins included Bridget, Popcorn, Rob, Vince, and Ingrid - all of whom had very sad FSPs. I wandered away at that point in search of the greater mental stimulation of collecting car numbers on Haile Selassie Road, but I vaguely recollect that the Circle said a tearful goodbye to Freckles, awarded the Hashit to Arse Liquor, and ended, as it should, with the traditional song.

On On
BoB