HASH TRASH
Run No.1352 11 January 2010
Venue: CampBed’s castle
Hares: Cockroach, and CampBed

It was another of Cockroach’s shorter runs (isn’t there someone else out there who can set a Hash trail?) and he cracked the whip unmercifully, because he didn’t want to get into hot water again by getting us back after dark (like what he usually does) (and give me the excuse to use my headtorch). Foxy Pussy was a hash heroine for checking out an obviously false trail when she was already puce in the face - everyone pushed on, and I left her to be swept up by the usual de facto Back Hare - Rippa. Hashdance really enjoyed the walk, and denied using it as an excuse to chatter to other like-minded souls about the vicissitudes of the expat life in Dar.

Upcoming features include the Blockbuster MacTilda Hash on Bongoyo Island on Sunday 31st January - a fun day out for all the family (provided they can swim) complete with sandy, undercooked chicken washed down with coolish beer - plus musical entertainment, games, and the traditional service in Bongoyo Cathedral. Bring cash (lots of it) to the next Hash to secure your place. You will only have a week to recover from this before the AGPU (Annual General Piss-Up to the uninitiated) - which will be on Saturday 6th February. This is your chance to throw out the tired old mismanagement regime, and vote in some new vigorous, thrusting types who will take the Hash in bold new directions. In the dim and distant future will be Hornigoat and Flatulence’s wedding - they are being a bit coy about when it will be, but I have been reliably informed that Shrijees has their wedding present list.

The Circle started with the Runnning Hare - Cockroach - being given a horizontal down down by EasyLet who was standing in for the usual torturer - Boogie Boobs (who was under the Doctor). He foamed horribly at the mouth. The so-called Trailmaster (Rippa) claimed to know that next weeks Hash will be hosted by Close Encounters, but no-one could make head nor tail of his directions, so wait for the email notice. Shaggy Haggis was the Guest RA - and a rather prickly one at that. Not only did he punish Cowpiss, Mr S*i*h*le, Potty and Cockroach for committing trivial misdemeanours, but he took umbrage at Flatulence for usurping his traditional role of calling the “Oggies” at the end of the “Warm Safari” song. He struggled to make himself heard over the racket from raucous hashers - who were giving him a touch of his own medicine. And talking of raucous hashers, the Circle was saddened to see Mr S, Nasty Pasty, and Potty troop out when Departees were called for. They have worked hard for the Hash over the years, and provided us with a lot of good, innocent, and not-so-innocent merriment - we will surely miss them. Most of the Virgins were from across the pond, having been brought to the Hash by their Embassy’s resident Jarheads - they included Chris, Paul and Rio. But there was also Jennifer from Dar es Salaam, who did a much better job of sinking her down down than the men. There were various sorry contenders for Hashit - Mr S, Oscar and TV Balls failed to make the cut, leaving only Shaggy and Mmbap in contention. TANESCO (who werent even invited to the Hash) had the last word, and cut the power off when Mmbap came up for the vote - this was taken as a SIGN from above. We ended with the traditional song, as in all the very best circles.

On On
BoB