HASH TRASH
Run No.1276 23 September 2008
Venue: Jackie’s Bar
Hares: BendHer, OverEasy, Squirrel and Nutcracker - otherwise known as the YOTTIES

It was a run for runners again - or I am just getting old? I was that cream crackered that I short-cut to the beer stop - and whilst so doing I caught sight of a couple of virgins walking along hand-in-hand. I stored the memory away for use in the Circle, only to discover later that they were on their honeymoon - and even I would not be such a cad as to get virgins into trouble for having sex on their honeymoon. Now where was I ? - oh yes, those Easy Vikings aka Hornigoat and Pissed in Action put in an early appearance in the Circle for being ..... well easy I suppose. And there were various announcements of no great consequence, including CampBed being the new Trailmaster, CandyBlower being the new Hash Cash, and next week’s hash being at Hoon Towers with celebrity guest ParknRide.

The Religious Advisor (and ex-pinko) CandyMan was in the mood for discipline, but as Miss Whiplash was on duty in the Q Bar that night, he had to make do with castigating Jesus for letting his skirt slip, Pissed in Action for lusting after Marines, and various flatulent hashers for creating a draught. Virgins parading demurely in the Circle included Alistair, Yvonne (as in “Yvonne your knickers, your mothers coming”), and honeymooners Leticia (whose father made her come) and Stefan, who was too frightened to tell us his favourite sexual position because his father-in-law (Frozen Scrotum) was listening. Returnees of little note included Mr S...hole, Flatulence, Tiny Sausage, Louis, Gay Haggis and Triar F..k. Jesus led us in a comic song - the “Wild Hasher” - whilst wearing a lime-green Borat thong. And there wasn’t a dry eye in the house as Wet Dream announced that this was the end of the Dream Team of RentBoy >>> Hornigoat, on account of the formers imminent departure to paddies new. In appreciation of all the romance and glamour that they have brought to the Hash, and so that they will have something to remember each other by, RentBoy was given a stuffed goat to cuddle in perpetuity, and Hornigoat was given Torsten’s Friend on temporary loan. The Hashit went to ParkNRide because it will be her last chance to have it, so to speak. There was a song to finish.

On On
BoB