Monday 2 July 2007
Run: 1208
Venue: Classic Cafe, Oyster Bay Shopping Complex
Hares: Bombastic, Boxer, Beeper Tits

Your scribe of the last two weeks has decided enough is too much and taken herself on holiday, so the recording of hash history has once again fallen into the wrong hands. I begin to realise how easily history can be distorted by unscrupulous scribes - perhaps Ghengis Khan was really a pleasant stay at home family man ? Beware or you could become a fearsome legend to 30th century hashers.

A pleasant little run taking in a scenic stretch of beach, the odd back lane and some tarmac; a short run option for the feint hearted; and of course a walk for the those who like to ponder life’s mystery before they put each foot down - what more could you ask for to pass a Monday evening in fine company. Probably thirty-some hashers decided to escape the mundane, get out and do it.

The big advantage of the Classic Cafe venue is that the public can only be scandalised in small numbers when we pretend to be teenagers misbehaving in the heart of the Oyster Bay shops. So when Wet Dream called the hash to form a circle he felt free to immediately dispense down downs to Head Gasket, Mother Immoral and Park’n’Ride, before calling in the hares. Pinochio thought the run was nice and long, but had problems with pedestrians as he ‘HURTLED’ around the trail, whereas Nutcracker took her Mum for an impromptu beer stop after a few hundred yards of walking, and they only just got back in time for the circle. Down downs were administered but the down down chant was so appalling that the GM appointed DianA and Mother Immoral (possibly with Boogey Boobs and Nutcracker as helpers ?) to lead the singing for the evening.

Announcements - next MMC meeting Tuesday 10 July at Wet Dream/Boogey Boobs house; Pinochio’s bike from the Bagamoyo relay found by Head Gasket??; Nairobberians issue challenge to DarHHH for their Naivasha hash on 6/7 October (excuse for anyone with Kenyan connections to be down downed); next weeks run to be hosted by Pinochio from Karume Road (map to be emailed), with a swimming pool should you have any laundry to do, or just want to save fresh water in your own shower.

How many times have I written this .... in the absence of BothWays ... ....

HeadGasket stepped into the RA slot and revelled in the opportunity to call in Nutcracker’s Mum (not named Hazel) and describe her activities exactly fifty years ago, because Nutcracker admitted that it was her fiftieth birthday. He then moved on to late comers, mainly because Bum Titty turned up for a brief chat during the circle, but also casting his net over Wet Dream and Begging4it. Begging4it was immediately back in, with Boxer this time, for GM abuse, and Bombastic joined them for some smelly emission crime.

On to the more important aspects and the returnees were welcomed back - seven of them - including Eweshagger, Alililili...ya, Tiny Sausage, Beeper Tits and LateCummer. Three virgins were introduced - Fani from SA; Wayne from Zim; and Bernard also from Zim. Ursula (not named Hazel) was back in as a visitor .... and a round of ‘Warm Safari’ completed the RA’s work.

In the absence of Chicken Shit (last weeks HashShit), DianA proposed her to retain the title. Being a fair-minded and compassionate GM, Wet Dream considered this suggestion from all aspects, asked for other candidates but received none in the quarter second interval he allowed, and therefore agreed that ChickenShit should continue as HashShit. However in her absence he realised that we would need a stand in look alike for the evening - and he nominated DianA, who was initially reluctant to take up the garb - probably because she initially misunderstood the honour which had befallen her - but she did eventually don the toilet seat and high fashion mimi skirt whilst giving the sodden leggings a vigorous whirl over her head.

The proceedings finished in normal fashion with the virgins and HashShit in the circle for the hash hymn before we hit the food and another beer.

It’s such hard work attending the hash ???, but so rewarding to have done ?? There’s obviously a good reason to be there for a lot of people, and no good reason required for others, so why weren’t you ?

Think about it, if you came next week you wouldn’t have to read this rubbish again.

(And if you all came we could abolish the scribe and no one would have to write it !!)

ON ON

Squire L
Scribe to the DarHHH