Hash Trash 1534
24 December 2012
Venue: REDACTED
Hares: Just Chelsey, Wounded Knee, Nurse Ratched
GM: Cockroach
RA: Shaggy Haggis

Rich Hashers bawling out Carols in a poor, predominantly Muslim, part of town wasn’t perhaps the most culturally sensitive thing, but the Christmas spirit was flowing and it felt good. As always, the local kids enjoyed our presence. Maybe the marking was a bit flaky (had the Embassy run out of secrets to shred?) but the trail was a fine effort from a Virgin Hare – we look forward to many more from this stable. Notwithstanding this, Bumtitty, when called upon to pass judgement brought forth a long list of complaints (querying the accuracy of the GPS used, amongst others) before ending with “otherwise it was quite good.” One of our more pedestrian Hashers, BadLuckBitch, commended the lack of piddles and puddles.

NWH on New Years Eve will be a funtasia at Still Can’t Get it Up Adam’s place on Chole Road. AC-DC was pressed into service as his lookalike. The RA announced that the protocol for the night was left-handed drinking, and who better to enforce this but Truncher Muncher (aka Missing in Action, Collateral Damage, and REDACTED).

Harriettes who had been mislaid, because they were yakking and hadn’t taken notice of where they were going, included Boogie Boobs, Desperate, Just Noldi and Truncher Muncher. They were made to drink a down down, but this was only the first of their many humiliations during the evening. Nutcracker was caught slurping a lollipop from her right hand – some people never learn. So many Virgins – and most of them made to come by that doyenne of the missionary position, Just Rose. Two US army guys, Just Justin and Just Bud, claimed a joint FSP – the Eiffel Tower. It is amazing how enlightened the Army has become, but I am surprised that the Commander in Chief did not draw the line at them participating in the relay race that followed – in which the mislaid Harriettes on all fours orally transferred a common vegetable spurting REDACTED from between the lubricious REDACTED of one Grunt to another. Meanwhile Truncher Muncher was threatening to strip search all the men to find her truncheon (I am reliably informed that she came upon it a few hours later).

Those in the frame for Hashit included Nutcracker and Ewe Shagger (not treating the goings-on in the Circle with the proper respect) Nurse Ratched as represented by AC-DC (for losing Harriettes on the walk) and Castrato (for wearing a tie to the Hash). Not much doubt there then and so it came to pass that we all sang SLSC.

On On
BoB

*Mismanagement would like to make it clear to all those secret watchers and listeners out there that no-one Second Decked during this Hash.