Hash Trash 1525

22 October 2012

Venue: Goat Land

Hares: Beeryani Babe and Boxer

GM: Cockroach

RA: Shaggy Haggis

The run started with a check point every 100 meters or so before a confused Boxer tried to phone for help finding the trail. Hashers all started ignoring these constant check points and no one stopped at the actual check points which meant many long distances between checks and lots of lost folks. However, Sir Lances A lot said that it was a good run, as in exercise, despite the poorly marked trail. He seems confused about the purpose of the Hash. The walk was described as pleasant but with no water. And Gary Glitter started a new category of Hashing: start running and end up walking which he says is just to get him closer to the ladies. NWH will be hosted in Kinondoni by Night Rider. Rock Climber was called in for being called out as a big pussy in the Daily News and Cucci Gucci will be leaving us sometime in the future to some undetermined location. Shaggy Haggis and Gary Glitter did something wrong and Sir Lances A lot and Swiss Army Wife were accused of sex on the Hash that may have included whips and chains.

Shaggy Haggis took over and told us that it would be a reverse hash with a left-handed drinking rule. He named Mr. Bombastic hash shit for stepping in dog shit before the run even started and then moved on to naming Just Cristin. This caused quite a bit of excitement because she works in condoms and circumcision and the men were quite riled up. Sonia, an unsuspecting virgin and our host’s younger sister, somehow ended up being part of the naming as well because she was so excited by some of Cristin’s potential names. And so, from now on, Just Cristin will be known as Foreskin (much to Sonia’s dismay as that was her favorite) and Just Sonia will be known as Snip it (although she may never come back).

Mr. Bean was invited into the circle to lead us in a rousing rendition of a song about bullocks in the dust and a lobster before the RA tried to out Jimmy Sabile lookalikes Inspector Gadget, Outlaw, Santa, Squirrel, and a visiting old guy. Turns out Inspector Gadget Sabile is the real deal and the rest are fakes. Returnees included Bum Titties who was making babies, Cock Doctor who was working on cocks, Outlaw who was in Ireland, Rock Climber who was macking Shafted’s mom in dumb dumb land, Mr. Bombastic who was somewhere else, and Santa who was shagging his elves for some reason. Virgins included Snip It, who was called into the circle many times before and yet still couldn’t understand when to drink, who came to us from Nairobi via London and thinks “when it comes to sex, everything goes!” – take a number boys... Stuart came to us from Canada after being invited by a strange man swinging a spear on Coco Beach.

Despite already naming a hash shit, we elected Gary Glitter for being his creepy self after very little competition from Beeryani Babe, Boxer, Sexy Lizard, and SlappA all for being some version or another of rug munchers. Gary Glitter was soaked by the now experienced Snip It before the circle started SLSC and we went on to eat a tasty meal.

On on,

SlappA & Shafted