Monday 28 May 2007
Run: 1203
Venue: Tania’s house
Live Hares: NeanderShorty and Head Gasket
Walking hares: Tania and Nasty Pasty

The swift change of venue from Yacht Club to Tania’s house may have caught out one or two, but some lazier hashers obviously felt the weekends cobwebs were too thick to overcome, and a smallish pack gathered on the roof of Tania’s house - only to find we had no trail.

The timely arrival of NeanderShorty (that well known FRB and live hare extrordinaire) at the top of the stairs, pointed to the obvious answer, saving Frozen Assets and Tania from being mauled by the pack. Head Gasket (who also needs brain surgery) volunteered to help NS and the pair set off with bags of paper and a few minutes grace. The trail they set was remarkably good, leaving the hounds sniffing and confused at a number of junctions, but stretching enough to cause a couple of shortcuts home. The walkers apparently went awandering in a gentle amble around the area, returning to the on in some time after the runners.

With Wet Dream sending a verbal sick note via Boogie Boobs, we were short a GM. However, your MisManagement Committee have foreseen such emergencies and planned for dire eventualities by appointing a Hash Ass (assistant everything) .... and this is .... NeanderShorty (I think we met him earlier in another role didn’t we) who manfully took over the mantle. The opportunity was too good and .. surprise surprise .. Tania and Frozen Assets were immediately in the circle for down downs for the lack of trail.

Bum Titty was next. He was to be team captain for the Bum Vikings in the Bagamoyo Relay, but didn’t front up, leaving (you guessed it) the Viking NeanderShorty to run the Bums as well ... down down.
Lesson : don’t get on the wrong side of NS.

The hares received great plaudits from the GM (wonder why) and were rewarded with a Safari infusion, despite Boxer saying the run was ‘awful’, and ParknRide complaining the walk was ‘bloody long’.

Next weeks run will be hosted by Jason and Tulip at their house on the dirt road between the Yacht Club and the Slipway (number 1205) and there was mention of Belgian beer but sadly no haggis.

The GMass also spotted some beer abuse; spitters and throwers Head Gasket, Tania and Chicken Shit being called in as an example to all. ParknRide had complained of being friendless and was offered an opportunity to pick three people to have babies with. The fact that she selected Boogie Boobs, Frozen Assets and Nasty Pasty says little for the male component of the circle.

At this point our RA generally takes over, but RA BothWays had to wash her hair and manicure her toenails yet again, RA ‘for the power of 2’ MrSh’ole has temporarily escaped the country, Prawn has wandered off on a jaunt at sea ... but our need was great and we were likely to descend into depravity without good religious advice from a firm experienced hand.
Did I mention earlier that Head Gasket needs brain surgery ? So he was the perfect choice and stood in with gusto and hernia to the fore, firstly giving away various unwanted phones and car keys from the valuables box, then moving on to no less than nine returnees. The newcomers (Aliya, Gordon, Theodore, Mark, Wendy, Simon, and Jamal) were welcomed, and BeggingForIt also made it into the circle for coming late, in high heels and designer dress. A round of ‘Warm Safari’ was followed by the full appropriate song and then a brief spot from Jamal as visiting RA from Kigali Hash.

Last weeks Hash Shit was DianA, who completed this run in spritely fashion - even twirling the sacred seat at the end of her outstretched arm whilst running - but she was seen by Tiny Sausage to have offloaded the seat to Ed, who was nominated for helping her. Chicken Shit renominated DianA because the mini skirt would look better on her; BeggingForIt was proposed for being improperly dressed; and Boxer was suggested because he had spent the last 20 minutes annoying everyone by looking for his car keys.
Democracy may have its day, but I think it was more to do with long legs in miniskirts, and BeggingForIt took the honours as the RA handed the circle back to the GMass.

Frozen Assets was especially called front and centre to explain why she is leaving us, this being her final hash in Dar; followed by half the pack for not wearing recognised hash T shirts (whats that word NS - equitette ?) and ‘Singing in the Rain’ was rounded off with the hash hymn before BeggingForIt led the way to a table laden with splendid tasty food sponsored by Tania for Frozen Assets departure.

Everyone seemed to return at least once for seconds, and desserts were stuffed into the final corners, yet there was still some uneaten, and even the alcohol consumption seemed to fall off as bellies bulged until eventually the replete pack dispersed.

So, you see, you missed another good one and will never be able to recoup the loss. Front up next week for Jason and Tulips run ... or simply suffer in Safariless silence on the sidelines ... your choice.

ON ON

Squire L
Scribe to the DarHHH