Monday 23 May 2011
Run Number : 14 something - the GM just guesses anyway.
Venue : OOOOOOR HOOOSE (BogieBoobs and WetDreams Boarding House)
Hares : The House Guests from Hell (United) aka DildoDan, MudDevil, Mr.S and NastyPasty
GM : CockRoach
RA : CandyMan

The real ‘after’ run for the Bagamoyo relay was a gentle affair to accommodate the
stiff portions of anatomy coyly hidden by many of the relayers. The run was described
as ‘muddy’ and BumTitty confusingly thought the walk was ‘surprisingly hilly’ - which
surprised the other walkers as well - no idea where he went.
NWH will be hosted at the clinic of NurseRatchet, where WoundedKnee feels at home. Map
to be issued.
MyLittlePony reminded the circle of FatBastard’s 333rd birthday on Friday evening and
the TrailMistress circulated a plea for more hosts and hares to keep the hareline
receding.
BoogieBoobs and NutCracker were displayed in the circle as examples of the diligent
workers who made the Bagamoyo Relay happen. The rest of the MisManagers who also made
it happen were not displayed - grateful sighs from the crowd. Then yet another re-
enactment of Dominatrix being horizontal, joined this time by CentreFold and they each
had a horizontal downdown (DildoDan as an unconvincing Domi lookalike).
CandyBlower was accused of losing her shirt but refused to swop the one she was
wearing, and Boring and FlavourSaver did something I missed while I waited for CB to
swop her shirt.
The RA took over the circle and FlavourSaver came straight back in, to collect his
phone, joined by NutCracker who’d mislaid her bag. Aiyyayayayaya was a latecomer, as
was MLP, but he hoofed it off to the Irish pub for a quick one before the pack returned
and was almost late twice.
The after effects of the relay were particularly obvious in CentreFold who had brought
along a killer puppy dog in order to justify not running, and BumTitty who had no
justification at all for walking. And so it went onnnnnn .... I won’t bore you more ...
just names for those who like to see their moniker in print : Mr.S, NightRider.
Dumbass, and Mr.S, WetDream, MLP, NastyPasty, NurseRatchet, Nuts4Love, TakkaTraka,
WoundedKnee ... a good bit was the RA giving the Hares/Departees/House Guests from Hell
a down down for the umpteenth time and they jointly spat it back at him in perfect
syncrony. A wet RA with a rather rigid grin.
One VeryLateComer was combined with the virgins and introduced:
Paresh who comes from down the road, was brought by his dog and likes doggy style;
Jan from Denmark, courtesy of HeadGasket, and likes to be on top of everything;
Brian from Minnesota came with AC/DC and enjoys bunny ears (crys of roger rabbit);
and finally Neema from Kilindoni who also came with AC/DC (proof if it was needed) and
rather likes the same as Brian - some matches are made in heaven and some struck at the
hash.

The Relay winners were eventually noticed and allowed to reprise their WetDream Song,
followed by all the team Captains giving thanks that it’s all over for another year.

Dildo and MudDevil distributed some small gifts for weekend achievments : CentreFold as
the last dancer standing; Flatulence and HornyGoat for not having sex on the run;
Hitler for saving children; F Off for nearly dying of over exertion; and CandyMan for
not bribing CandyBlower better. The GM then gave away three of the Kenyan hats to
NastyPasty, MudDevil and Nutcracker but they had to swallow the triple to earn them,
and eventually we got to the HashShit Stakes.
Frontrunner was the WetDream and BoogieBoobs combo for trying to kill americans
(TaliCan and AleQaeda were amongst the comments); Rhema for being so incessantly
chattery; Boring because he has to be nominated; and Nutcracker ‘cos she was a bit rude
to Mr.S and he wanted revenge even though she apologised. After a lacklustre show of
democracy at work and multiple recounts, NutCracker was declared worthy and led the
virgins in SLSC before heading for the food.
It wouldn’t be the same if the pool wasn’t used so NastyPasty was joined by MudDevil
and a large inflatable organ in hydrotherapy.
Enough enough. See ya next week.
Squire L