BAGOMOYO RELAY 2007

Saturday 19 May 2007
Run number: 1200
To blame for the route : Wet Dream, Boxer, Mr Shit’le, Benoir and the motorcycle club .. and more.

Too much drivel - too long they say, but how can you write meaningful and enlightening prose about 150 people bushbashing from Dar to Bagomoyo without running ...... (haha) ... into two pages. I’m trying, honest - I realise some of you have to pretend productive activity.

An amazing feat of organisation (thanks to the GM letting Boogie Boobs and Park’n’Ride do most of the work, which means it did work) led to a 6.30am gathering of the mentally challenged from as far afield as Nairobi and Mombasa, to be issued with their Vodacom sponsored individual team T shirts. {A quick aside that the GM DID front up this year, which was generally thought to be good news; he having used the medivac option last year.}

The first casualty of many minor mishaps was Frozen Assets unscheduled dismounting from her bicycle only five metres from the start of the very first leg. Hey ho and of to Bagamoyo we go. Many more followed her example as the day progressed. Seventy two point one kilometres, in two bicycling stages, two walking stages and no less than fifteen running stages took the seven teams who eventually made it to the start line to the crocodile farm outside Bagomoyo in aggregate times which varied from less than five and a half hours to just less than seven. Great dollops of mud (long lengths of trail undulating through lakes of the stuff), sandy tracks, steep river banks, swamps, rain rutted hills to ascend, groves of shady trees, the occassional open dirt road, slack mouthed villagers, boorwurst rolls for lunch, more large baobabs, more mud holes, hot sun ....... it was a continuous assault on the muscles and senses. Even the hardy 4wd vehicles had fun, imagine the joys of traversing this with a dalla dalla - yes a dalla dalla full of Gappers was variously driven, floated and dragged along the route. This did slow proceedings down significantly and led to over thirteen hours as a total time on the route from Dar to Bagomoyo, and a curtailed visit to the crocs.

The Knight Support outriders and ‘Benoirs bikers’ roared up and down the trails the whole day, having a great time puddle jumping and trying to keep the runners on track at obscure junctions, or sedately leading the vehicle convoy to the next stage end, combined with finding alternate routes for the less daring drivers or those who valued the springs in their cars. Benoirs bikers had also done an advance recce of a lot of the route, so it was partly their doing that the only tar road we saw was on the two early bicycling legs, the lunch stop, and the penultimate leg which was a walk, so no one had to run on hot tar. Challenging stuff - Dar to Bagomoyo off road with a Safari can, a Coke truck and a Knight Support ambulance in attendance on all but the most extreme sections.

Despite the sweat, and sun, and tribulations, and hiccups, everyone arrived in good sprits at Bagomoyo to circle and find their accommodation. BB and PnR bravely took on the hoteliers (who had given away some of our pre-booked rooms even ignoring a final phone confirmation by BB during the lunch stop) and revamped the arrangements so that everyone had a bed should they wish to stop drinking before the next run at 10 o’clock on Sunday. Beer, wine and a few sodas were flowing and a grand spread was put out for the replenishment of stomachs, before the music and dancing started and went ‘til late (so I’m told - a soft bed looked so good - talk about bushed mate - knackered is the word).

By the way, Late Cummers team of ‘officials’ took copious and accurate notes of times for each and every stage, for each and every team, but it was an event to have done, not an event to simply win - so you won’t be interested in the final results will you.

Reeeeaaaallly, you DO want to know, oh just for the sake of completeness - I see.

Well I snaffled a scrap of paper on which I found some calculations and can tell you that the UNofficial total aggregate times are thought to be :

Pinochios Harem Scarums 417 minutes
Gappers 391 minutes
IST 359 minutes
Bum Vikings 354 minutes
Hare and Tortoise 330 minutes
Wet Dream Team 328 minutes
Nairobi Hash 325 minutes

Hey, I’m just the reporter, maybe someone else biked/walked/ran very slowly.

YES, LOOK AT HOW CLOSE IT ALL WAS - IF YOU’D JUST RUN A BIT HARDER ....
OR IF THERE HAVE BEEN A SLIP UP IN THE TIMING .......

I reckon the pink ladies should get the plaudits for obviously enjoying themselves the most; the Gappers spent so much energy pushing the dalla dalla its amazing they had any runners left; IST were looking at it as an intellectual problem; NeanderShorty’s Bum Vikings were totally hamstrung by Bum Titty’s athletic absence; and WonderBra’s Hare and Tortoise, Wet Dream’s team, and Topi’s Nairobberians, equally obviously took it all much too seriously with only five minutes between them.

Well done to all, and thanks to Vodacom, Knight Support, TBL and Coke for the great back up.

There, that wasn’t too bad was it, now you can go back to ....

ON ON

Squire L

{This is a psuedonym to disguise my identity, so that I can challenge the GM’s authority (why are you laughing) when necessary, without fear or favour.}

Scribe to the Dar HHH