HASH TRASH
Run No.1338 5 October 2009
Venue: Southern Sun Hotel
Hares: Head Gasket, Nite Rider, Wet Dream

Head Gasket took the runners on a merry dance around the golf course, the mean streets of the city centre, the car park of the Kempinski Hotel, and the chaos of the waterfront, before delivering them into the hell-on-earth that is the Fishmarket. True to tradition, hashers traded fish-smell jokes, and endured being gawked at by the wananchi, before heading home via State House. Cockroach’s duck imitations got the peacocks all hot and bothered on the run in.

The Grand Master (CampBed) strutted into the Circle wearing lederhosen, and his paunch and knobbly knees added authentic touches. However, the total effect was about as sexy as a wet February night in Grimsby. Various unsavoury delights were trailed, including My Little Pony, BagoBones and Close Encounters having a piss-up in Shooters Bar on Tuesday 13th October (7.30 ish)(all welcome), Mama Mia at the Little Theatre (tho’ avoid Friday night if you are of a nervous or sensitive disposition), and a Halloween Party at the Marine House on October 30th (you get a free shot if you turn up in costume - though who at I am not sure). Next weeks Hash will be hosted by Flatulence, and I guess this means that Hornigoat will spend her Sunday squeezing balls. (Editor’s note: the next hash will be hosted by My Little Pony)

The Bishop of Bongoyo, Aloysius Prawn officiated at the arcane ritual of humiliating those hashers who had been guilty of some misdemeanour (real or imagined) or those who had been foolish enough to tell ‘friends’ about some embarassing incident that had happened to them - such as Candyblower, Marianne and Liz burning their bottoms. LateCummer was fingered for giving beer away at the Fishmarket, My Little Pony was inappropriately dressed, and Nutcracker should have been punished for being caught ‘in flagrante’ in a fire engine. Head Gasket was alleged to have had a birthday, and this was used as an excuse to honour all our Hash elders - including Prawn, Panty Pockets, Head Gasket, Marianne, Liz, and BagoBones. I have been assured that the rumour that they are about to form a Dar Hash Over-60s Nudist Leapfrog Team is just that.

There was an unseemly squabble about whether the RA has the right to punish the GM by making him sit on the ice, but soon they were all on it - Prawn, Shaggy Haggis, Head Gasket, the GM, and Mr Sh**hole. But only Prawn and Shaggy Haggis sat it out to the bitter cold end. The Virgins were a cosmopolitan lot, but sad to say they all favoured doggy style, except for Emilian who likes ‘anything in the kitchen.’ Unfortunately for him, Marianne (who likes it up against the fridge) was leaving Tanzania the next day.

There was a very lack-lustre line-up of hopefuls for the Hashit, including My Little Pony (offence against the Dress Code), Two at a Time (racing), LateCummer (mismanagement of wet rations) and Tara (who was just making up the numbers). The Hashit went to LateCummer, pretty much by default. The Circle ended with the traditional song.

OnOn
BoB