HASH TRASH
Run No.1334 14 September 2009
Venue: Bulldogs
Hares: Rippa, Wet Dream, Boogie Boobs

A classic trail around the familiar streets of the Peninsula - fast-ish, well-marked, and with a few loops and other tricks, as expected from a very old hand like Ripper. Just a pity that he chose a Back Hare who can’t read a map and who managed to get the Hashit and his floozy lost. Some people went for a walk.

I thought it was a cracking trail, but Bumtitty didn’t like it and Slapper said it was a little bit left. No announcement was made about the Morogoro Hash, for which we were all heartily grateful. But there will be no Hash on the 21st. Gives you a chance to do something worthwhile on a Monday night instead of hanging out with a load of sad, degenerate toss-pots and other low life. Talking of which, Erotic Chicken led us all in the singing of a new and charming ditty all about “Charlotte the Harlot.” Somehow I don’t think it will catch on, but all praise to EC for trying to get the Hash onto a more uplifting plane. That notorious “pinko” Candyman strutted forward to deliver his usual sanctimonious religious clap-trap, only to find himself assailed on all sides for forgetting he has a wife. So, he had a bit of a cheek to try and finger Bumtitty for the perfectly reasonable purchase of French Letters in mid-run. Anyway Bumtitty wasn’t having any, so the RA turned on the short-cutting bastards instead - who included Lord Whore Whore, Gobbler, Gobbler’s gobblemate, Wet Dream and BagoBones. Returnees with pathetic excuses included, Mr S**thole, Mr Bombastic, French Letters (aka Foxy Pussy), Lord Whorre Whore, Close Encounters, Service Me, and Extra Testicular. There were Virgins a plenty - there’s never one when you need one, and then they all come together in a rush - c’est la vie, as Foxy Pussy probably never says. Anyway, they were mostly Cheeseheads and Canucks with plebian FSPs, but the Circle noted with amusement that both Karen and Fralka like doing it in elevators - with Karen preferring to go down while Fralka likes it up.

“Mr Egregious” aka The Grand Master took back control of the proceedings with a throw-away remark about some Harriette’s proclivities (at least that’s what my notepad says he said). After some beating around the bush, Damas was named DumbAss, and some other dude was saddled with Byte My Mega. Sad sad to report that this was the last Hash for that flower of young British womanhood - Rubber Bum. Her farewell Down Down was kicked off by Boogie Boobs’s “Cover your ass girl”. Wise words, Boogie. The Hashit was a toss-up between CandyBlower and Flatulence, but I could sense that the Circle had a deep yearning to give it to CandyBlower, so thats where it went. Only fair really. And the Circle ended with the heavenly choir singing “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot”.

On On
BoB