HASH TRASH
Run No.1329 11 August 2009
Venue: Close Encounters’s Close, Mikocheni
Hares: Close Encounters, Premature Ejaculation, Rippa

Another fast, well-run Hash trail - as we neared the sewage ponds, and with memories of Close Encounters’s last Hash still very fresh in the mind, I feared the worst, but we padded around the sanitary works (pads, sanitary, geddit? - I think that is worthy of Candyman isn’t it?) and we ended the trail smelling, if not of roses, of good honest sweat. According to one Hasher the walk was “very nice”. I ask you - where do we get these people from?

Next weeks hash is at CampBed’s tent - according to the Grand Master - who was no less than CampBed himself. He foretold of a price increase for participating in the Dar Hash - which went down like a lead balloon. However he did promise superior bitings, and invited suggestions - chapattis from BagoBones, and ugali (yuk) from Tiny Sausage. He then introduced The Guest Religious Advisor, Flatulence, who clearly had thought about the role a lot (perhaps too much?). He created two new Mismanagment Committee posts - firstly Hash Harlot, which he awarded to Dominatrix (without a vote) and then Hash Mouth. Now of course it is a toss-up (and I use the word advisedly) whether Shaggy Haggis or Flatulence is the biggest loud-mouth on the Hash, but it went to Shaggy. There was a Freddie Mercury competition, but all three competitors (Hot Safari, Maurene, and Dammass) were declared to be crap, and took the triple down down. Premature Ejaculation showed Close Encounters how to enrobe a water bottle with a French letter (whatever turns you on baby), and the Missdemeanours included Cockroach and Barney. Virgins were thick on the ground, and so many of them liked doing it doggy style, that Barney (Twist’s minder) was getting quite excited. Various hashers were fingered for the Hashit and what they all had in common was that they are accomplished piss-artists. Flatulence got it without much difficulty. Time’s up and I haven’t even mentioned Rubber Bum, or Hornigoat’s Sister Susannah who does unmentionable things on the sofa with a Great Dane, or Happy with Three Fingers. The Circle ended with SLSC.

On On
BoB