Run No. 1191 on Monday 2 April 2007

Venue : Classic Cafe, Oyster Bay

Hares : Late Cummer, Boxer

Despite Park n Ride’s firm advice to the GM that this was run number 1190, we will continue on the path of verity and logic.

Run number 1191 was unannounced and undirected (unless you were at the real run 1190) due to Late Cummers email access problems, but then Late Cummer was the host and HE knew where it was to be, so hard luck if you missed it. However a fine turnout of keen hashers still found their way to the venue.

A run which included a stretch of Boxers favourite soft sandy beach was quickly completed by the pack, as plentiful paper led us around with few hiccups, and took us back to the Oyster Bay complex well in advance of the walkers. Mind you the walkers were controlling a pack of no less than five hash dogs - but whether this slowed them or quickened the pace you can decide.

Wet Dream opened the circle inside the sheltering walls of the shopping mall and within minutes the only other people around (two intense business ladies deep in negotiation over some meaningful paperwork) cleared up and hurried out with worried looks. Other passers gathered in amazement to hear raucous singing in the quiet confines of the complex.

Announcements were: a final reminder for Morogoro on Friday 9th and Saturday 10th; and a date for your diary - run to Bagamoyo on 19 May - the Wet Dream team will be auditioning in the near future, but other teams are also needed.

Late Cummer and Boxer were suitably rewarded for their efforts as hares, despite Bag O’Bones run commentary : short, wriggly and fast, and Panty Pockets version of the walk : doggy, and no beer stop!

In the absence of Bothways (RA = Rarely Attends, Runs Accasionaly ??) our Reliably Active MrSh’ole took up the slack yet again. Having noted the departure of the suited ladies, he counterpoised office workers and leisure consultants, with reps drawn from the pack, before moving on to what he characterised as the meat of his role - the Hash rules. Chicken Shit and Captain Skidmark were paired as possible sexual sinners, and by a subtle twist of logic this led on to Boogie Boobs current household members (half the hash it seems) who apparently all share a single housekey.

Two virgins were found amidst the pack. Ellen from Washington DC hopes to be around in the future, and baby Lennon was presented by proud parents Lord and lady Whore Whore. (Poison Dwarf got to be a Lennon look alike for down down purposes.)

Seven returnees (Moo, PnR, MrS, Joanna, Capt Skidmark, Bushbanger and Willie) were recognised before Boxer announced that Park N Ride will be setting next Mondays run at a mystery location. Lets hope the email directions find a way through the internet.

72 years of Dar hashing experience were gathered by the RA, to resolve the correct run number for the Bad Friday Morogoro rua. After much argument and stressfull cogitation it was determined that it would actually be the next run, and therefore we should add one to this run number and the answer would be before us. Naturally they proceeded to add one to 1190 and got 1191, when we know the proper answer is 1192. But it is truly amazing what a bunch of ancient experts can achieve given time and assistance, don’t you agree.

A deeply meaningful occasion was the penultimate feature of the RA’s spot. Rachel and Joanna both began hashing in Dar more than ten years ago, yet they had no proper names. They had been paraded before the circle earlier to set the brain cells working at appropriate hash names, and now they were recalled to the circle and voting proceeded to decide the most fitting from the proposals, despite Bushbanger trying to reverse the circles decision on a name for Rachel because she felt it did not reflect the outstanding fine legs of the harriette. Baptismal ceremony celebrant Prawn was then requested to confer the new names. She Wants One (ex Rachel) and Easy Let (ex Joanna) were honorably and individually baptised in holy beer with the power conferred on Prawn by the Great Gismet in the Sky.

The RA’s final act was to find a new hash shit, as Wet Dream had been a low key holder of the honour. My Little Pony was nominated for cold Guiness snaffling after last weeks run at Boogie Boobs house; Late Cummer for the lack of emailed directions and not setting his own run; and Bushbanger for being variously a Boring Old Fart, recalcitrant, or a Stroppy Cow. Democratic yelling and cheering decided that Bushbanger was the most deserving, and she proved it by refusing to don the plastic miniskirt and rasta hair/hat, whilst discarding the holy toilet seat after only ten seconds.

Sweet Chariot and food completed the formal aspects of the evening, and the hashers proceeded to drink the beer cooler dry.

Check your email for Park N Rides Monday run directions, or turn up at Morogoro on Friday for the next two running extravaganzas.

ON ON

Squire L
Scribbler to the Hash