Run No. 1190 on Monday 26 March 2007
Venue : Boogie Boobs house (aka Wet Dreams house), Haile Selassie Road
Hares : Wet Dream, Old Mother Riley
Well I told you last week not to make the same mistake again, but some of you did anyway. Noting the obvious theme of the evening, tough toenails is not quite the phrase that comes to mind.
Boogie Boobs 50th (surely she’s done more runs than that?) was memorialised by the issue of yet another fashionable T shirt to the dedicated followers, and the first opening to the hash of their remodelled abode.
A good turnout of over twenty runners and lots more walkers were led astray on the peninsula, through scrub, beach, road and track, with a popular beer stop thrown in and a cameo appearance from Ulrika (wine bottle in hand). No complaints were heard, but then the GM never asked for the packs opinion - maybe he was concerned, but somehow I doubt it.
Wet Dream started the circle by explaining that a hash team had taken on the best in the quiz at O’Willies after last weeks run, and now all were to be punished by having this weeks down downs in the winnings = a case of warm Miller. Drink it down down down ... A brief mention of the Morogoro Rua on Bad Friday 6 April and a plug for Fat Bastards wedding run on Saturday 7 April, somehow ended up with a bunch of husband searchers in the circle. Drink it down .... Followed by a choir of angels. Drink it ... Who knows how these things work - I certainly don’t. Responsibility for the commemorative T shirt was accepted by OMR (the model) and Late Cummer (not the model), accompanied by the birthday girl herself and more Millers. At which point the GM handed over to our very own RA. Bothways was said to have spent the last three weeks away at the hairdressers but then ‘fell’ into the pool and ruined the effect. Did I mention the pool - ah, well, yes, there’s a pool at the GM’s house. And it’s close to the bar. Probably no one noticed before the run ?? but it was discovered afterwards. Amazingly the circle was not held in it, despite a well known predeliction for wet T shirts amongst the hashers.
Bothways declared this to have been a sin free run, which must be unheard of in past annals, but was much taken by the T shirt depiction of boobs through the ages. She did her best to make up for the dry shirts by coercing an example of the firm 18 year old chest into the circle, whipped off her own T shirt as representing the intermediate stage, and then had Boogie Boobs disrobe to display how exercise, fitness and a healthy life style (!!) can keep you young. Prawn was called upon as an expert in these matters, to judge on the best pair in the circle - and declared the undoubted winner to be ... Bum Titty, who was duly rewarded. Not wishing to change the subject (why is she called BothWays) the RA introduced and displayed a possibly prosthetic pair which became the subject of pointed remarks and intense inspection as to natural or not. Popular acclaim voted them to be real.
Six virgins were welcomed to the pack, followed by a menage of returnees, departees and latecomers. Moo is off to Mozambique; Poison Dwarf is back from SA for a visit; Candy Man and Lord Whore Whore dropped in to check that the hash is still fully functional; Prawn and My Little Pony fancied a beer; and the rest ..
Despite not being actually in the pool, the proximity was too much for Wet Dream and he demanded an Arushasha wriggle from all and sundry - there’s something about the ‘chests out, bums out, tongues out’ that gets him going. Being naturally hollow chested, knock kneed and pigeon toed I find the whole thing a bit strange, but it was given lots of ‘thumbs up’ by the circle.
Poison Dwarf was given a special spot in the circle to administer down downs to the vintage hash quartet of Wet Dream, Boogie Boobs, Prawn and OMR, which she duly did - don’t ask me why they had keyrings in the bottom of their beers.
Nearly finished and you can do something useful - couple more paras to read.
Clears throat, sits up straight.
Hash Shit Bum Titty had properly run in his full regalia but found the toilet seat chafed his neck as he charged around the corners at speed, so Lena carried it for him - wasn’t that thoughtful of her; OMR’s Chui was nominated for enjoying the smell of sweaty hash socks, and represented by Poison Dwarf on all fours; Candy Man had been away so long he deserved to be nominated; Lord Whore Whore in a similar vein; Bum Titty ‘cos he looked good in the gear. What a choice. Wet Dream wittled them away one by one until only the lovely helpful Lena was left - tension mounted - could it be, would it be ... Lena. But if you have a mouth you must use it and WD made a remark regarding Boogie Boobs possibly wearing the PVC miniskirt (an ageist remark to do with number of years young), it dropped into one of those instant silences, was overheard by every harriette in the place, and mob rule took over. Despite pleas of immunity from the GM, democracy had its day, Lucky Lena left the circle and Wet Dream acknowledged his sin, slipped his ‘slim’ hips into the miniskirt and led away to the dining - but only after Bothways and Wet Dream led the choral circle in the hash hymn of thanks.
By the way, at some point Trailmaster Boxer announced next weeks run is to be at the Classic Cafe in the Oyster Bay Shopping Centre, set by Late Cummer - see you there.
ON ON
Squire L
Scribbler to the Hash
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