Monday 16 April 2007
Run: 1195
Venue: Valhalla
Host: NeanderShorty
Hares: NeanderShorty, Tiny Sausage and Chicken Shit

Yippedeedooda - we have control of our web site.

Welcome back. I gave up writing this rubbish while the emailing system did not function to spread the good word for the eager reader. Now you have no excuse and must suffer again.

Due to Boogie Boobs ad hoc distribution of run directions, and despite the lovely cool rain, a good turn out of ridiculously overexcited hashers gathered in the shelter of the Valhalla banda.
Of course there was a bit of splashing from running jumps into the grotty brown puddles, but what can you expect from overgrown kids; and apparently the walkers split into search parties - but none of them found the beer stop. Topi, the visiting GM from Nairobi, got lost and went off for a self unguided tour of the peninsula and therefore missed a looooongg run which even still had paper piles after a day of drizzle.

The following circle was a little drippy (banda and hashers) in places, but was led off by Wet Dream, who still doesn’t know what run number we’re at.

The first news was that the GM has deemed it acceptable to allow attendance in the circle by video link, as we are a technologically advanced hash. And in order to be first to take up this option Frozen Scrotum went out on Sunday and broke his leg whilst not riding his motorbike very well. This allowed him to be medically unfit to run and therefore DarHHH’s first genuine, medically certified, video hasher (but certainly not the first certified hasher). The eager circle was able to view whats left of his leg and shout abuse at him, as one does when encouraging the less fortunate. Some people will go a long way for a place in the spotlight Mr Frozen, but bending your motorbike. Don’t ask how they smuggled the warm Safari into his room for the down down or the Agha Khan will close up their security.

Back to the mundane, your MisManagement Committee will meet on Wednesday at 8pm at the GMs house (also at Boogie Boobs house as she was quick to point out). Anyone interested in getting involved in anything is invited, especially if you want to be part of the Bagamoyo relay.

The Bagamoyo Relay will be the next great event of the Dar season, and is scheduled for the 19th May so make a note on your secretary now.

Appropriate recipients of the warm Safari were selected by the GM at each stage of these Announcements, and they suffered gladly.

Moving on to the hares, NeanderShorty, Tiny Sausage and Chicken Shit were joined by Topi for being lost and BB for walking alone in company with her husband. Down down down down.

Another first for the DarHHH came about due to careless parents losing children in airports around the world, when Mr Sh’ole and Nasty Pasty stranded young Tristan with no money or luggage in a well known european airport and then had pangs of conscience and slipped away from the circle to try to extricate him by remote control. This left us with no certified RA - not even an irregular vaguely insane one.
A Religious Adviser should be eloquent, funny, perceptive, sympathetic, quick witted, well versed in hash lore, and loud mouthed - in all respects above the standard of your run of the mill DHHH hasher. Perhaps this is why we don’t seem to have a regular RA, they none of them feel able to rise above themselves. (You can understand the biologically challenged BothWays, but perhaps MrS and Prawn could make a stand).

So eyes swivelled to Chicken Shit (presumably because she has a loud mouth) and to a swell of applause at her (c)(p)luckyness, she stepped into the breach. Not one to miss an opportunity, her first victims were Boogie Boobs and Immoral as Mothers Who Care For There Children (splutter cough from the fringes). A confusing story of hasher attacking dog had NeanderShorty, Head Gasket and Squirrel in the circle. Followed by the Nairobi connections to accompany Topi - got to give the esteemed visitors a beer eh.

An advert break for the St Georges Society Ball, was rounded out by Tailmaster Boxer announcing next weeks run (at Bouncer’s house near Seacliff); BB being done for carrying a parcel of suspicious green leaves around with her; and Park n Ride being slow with the down downs.

The GM saved the best for last, and proudly announced the resuscitation of the DHHH website (if you are reading this then you’ve found the www.darhhh address). My Little Pony accepted plaudits for the kiss of live and will henceforth be known as hash webmaster in chief.

Hash Shit was Chicken Shit last week and she was keen to move on (hence the RA bit perhaps ?). Nominations this week were MrS (returned from his parental panic) for being a cheapskate and not sending offspring as accompanied minors; Head Gasket because he would look better with the miniskirt covering his hernia; My Little Pony for threatening the hash with dire retribution via the website should he be made unhappy; and an innocent Squirrel for having taken so long to get MLP to kiss the website better.

Hash shit is MrS. No Hash hymn. On on food. More Kili. Rain stops. All slowly depart.
See you next week.Whew

Squire L
Scribe to THE HASH