HASH TRASH
Run No. 1445
Venue: Jackie’s Bar
Hares: NiteRider, Hitler, Panty Pockets
Grandmaster: Cockroach
Religious Advisor: Candyman

He’s not called NiteRider for nothing, and it must have been half past nine (cf “half past nine, hang yer knickers on the line”) when everyone finally got back to Jackie’s. There was a lot of running backwards and forwards to no great purpose, but I suppose that’s Hashing. Any road, I am sure next week’s Hash will be very different, as we were told it will have a German theme and will be hosted by Hitler from his bunker. Who will be his Eva Braun?

Get Me Off encouraged us to attend the Fashion Festival from 23-26th on Kenyatta Drive somewhere..there will be lots of laundry.. sorry, lingerie. It had completely escaped me that Hilary was in town, but not the GM, who used it as an excuse to re-enact one of the most climactic events in recent American political history - Castrato played the part of Bill, Boring was the spitting image of Monica, while Nuts4Lurve (to give her her real name for once) looked on in disgust.

The RA had a field day - what with
i) outrageously late Latecummers: Get Me Off, Boring, Banzai
ii) SCBs: Castrato, Boxer, Lady in Red, F-Off (“it couldn’t have been me, I’m too stupid to shortcut”)
iii) DoubleTrouble watering the trail
iiii) Twitcher twitching and Sharkiller stretching
iiiiii) Swinging Spear using his mobile (talking to his broker probably)
iiiiiiii) Returnees: Banzai, CandyBlower, NiteRider, Harry, and Violate My Booty

It had completely escaped me that it was the 50th Anniversary of the invasion of Tanzania by the Peace Corps - the first country in which they spread peace and joy and american values (sic). Claire and Amanda are the current, very acceptable, faces of this cultural imperialism.

Virgins included Simon - a lumberjack from Norway - plus three American Beauties/Cuties: Leya, Amanda and Claire. Wounded Knee made them come - you’ve got to hand it to him, he can charm the birds out of the trees. When asked the Big Question, Claire said “my favourite sexual position is boring....” and the rest was drowned out by laughter. Boring finally got lucky. Let’s hope he stops talking long enough to savour it properly.

Then Olivia and Sparkle did the Squashy Banana Dance (yeh, I like it...let’s add this to our repertoire). Nuts$Lurve has had a significant birthday and is flying off without telling her husband (following the Wikileaks State Dept revelations this is one service family that is now communicating only on a strict ‘need to know’ basis). The GM rounded up the usual suspects (must stop watching Casablanca so much) for Hashit, but the honour went to someone new - Castrato - who doesn’t know how to wear a girdle. And surprise surprise, it all ended on a musical note.

On On
BoB

Easy money
Faithless women
Red-eye whiskey ..for the pain