HASH TRASH
Run No.1350 21 December 2009
Venue: Thai Village
Hares: Cockroach, and Easy Let

It was one of Cockroach’s shorter runs (ie normal length) but the pain of trudging around the streets of the Peninsula in 30 degrees of heat was leavened by numerous stops for Yuletide refreshments, good cheer, and carols that the Vicar wouldn’t approve of. The Grand Master, Camp Bed, kicked off his slot by dragging Wet Dream into the Circle for being a grumpy old scrooge - but his “punishment” was to choose three hashers to sit on his knee and light his fire, and he selected Slappa, Titmouse and Get Me Off - and they promptly did. The Religious Advisor (Mr S*i**ole) was Santa incarnate, despite a rear-end costume failure, and he dished out gifts to all and sundry (some of them very sundry indeed) with the “help” of a squeaky-voiced, dirty-minded elf - no prizes for guessing who that was. We sang the traditional Christmas songs - “walking round in women’s underwear”. Then it was time to play “pass the parcel”, but this is too complicated a game for most Hashers, so it took for ever, though finally, and not before Close Encounters promised ET a spanking if he didn’t give her the parcel back, it was unwrapped and displayed in all its tawdriness. The passing of the cucumber and onion round the Circle without using hands took even longer - and how did Get Me Off manage to snap the end off the cucumber? Then the RA worked some impressive prestidigitation that involved 4 harriettes getting laid on their backs. After that there was a traffic jam game that, true to life, went nowhere and involved much shouting, bad temper, and sheer bloody-mindedness. At long last we got back onto familiar ground with the “Humiliation of the Virgins” (Jacques and Shadrack) and “Awarding the Hashit” (Titmouse for being inappropriately attired). And just when most Hasher’s stomachs had long since given up the hope of getting anything, the Circle ended with a carol (Carol, Carol, who the f*** is Carol?).

On On
BoB