Hash Trash 1543 – Third Stonetown Hash
16 February 2013
Venue: Sunrise Bar, Stonetown, Zanzibar
Hares: Swinging Spear, BagOBones, Just Rose, Panty Pockets
GM: Wounded Knee
RA: Loves That Shit

Meeting at The Big Tree (where else) a select pack of 23 odd (some very odd) Hashers set off bravely into the narrow, labyrinthine streets of Stonetown. All the venerable traditions of the Stonetown Hash were upheld – SS lechered the walkers on the history (this year’s theme was “Slavery”) – the runners tore through the Fish Market shouting “the fish is off” – there was an ice cream stop – the beer stop was atop an Arab harem – and the Circle was at the bar where SaddleSore famously spewed up in 2011.

The Circle got off to a stuttery start due to the GM having an attack of stagefright. Of course it didn’t help that local residents were stoning us, but he finally got the show on the road. Loves That Shit complained that the trail was too twisty, and Bloody Tampax said that the walking lecture was very informative but mostly bullshit. There were far more Virgins than Dar Hashers (shame on you My Little Pony, Slappa, Beach Balls, and Inspector Gadget for frigging about on Zanzibar and not attending, though I heard that Inspector Gadget was legless most of the time, so would have been as much use on the Hash as a chocolate fire guard) and they included: J. Owen (from Kigali Hash), J. Caroline, J. Jen, J. Ben, J. Daniella, J. Dennis, J. Gabriella, J. Frederic, J. Marc, and J. Lo, Kamikaze and Bloody Tampax (all from the Jebel Hash in Muscat). The RA complained about the Hash being taken over by Culture Vultures, but subsequently showed that he is a bit of a history geek himself when he got into an arcane dispute with the GM about who ruled Zanzibar when. Any road, there was general support for the thesis that the Arabs screwed up here, so the Omani-Zanzibaris from the Jebel Hash took Down Downs, followed by the Brits, who screwed up too many places to mention, and finally the Germans, who have also got a lot to answer for – including, according to the RA, corrupting the Eurovision Song Contest.

Contestants for the Hashit included AWOL Dar Hashers My Little Pony (F*** She Got), Inspector Gadget (Just Owen – you owe him big-time, Gary), Slappa (Aieeeee), plus Swinging Spear (too many stairs to the beer stop), Aieeeeee (for her disappearing act), and the GM (forgetting the plot). The honour went to the GM. And the Circle ended, surprise, surprise, with the singing of “Swing Low Sweet Chariot.” See you at next year’s Stonetown Hash (theme: “Freddie Mercury – his troubled childhood.”)

On On
BoB