Hash Trash 1542 – the RED DRESS RUN
11 February 2013
Venue: The Lunatic Asylum
Hares: Castrato, Nuts4Lurve, Wet Dream
GM: Cockroach
RA: Shaggy Haggis

What a fine sight to see – the pack in their red finery and in full throat surging down the leafy streets of Masaki. But very tough on all those Hashers in drag - what with nipple rash, split ends, strap bite, and crotch rot. Even the birds took part – a beautiful red-headed Lybius melanopterus – difficult to tell whether he or she was in drag because the sexes look alike. Although the red head is distinctive it is the broad brown breast band that is diagnostic – but of course you knew that. You couldn’t possibly confuse it with the Hairy Breasted Barbet (doncha just love hairy breasts) (this pathetic attempt to bring in hairy breasts doesn’t stand up, as of course the ranges of the Brown-Breasted Barbet and the Hairy-Breasted Barbet do not overlap, Ed). Now where were we – ah yes, the roundabout near the no-go area.

Notable new verse this week from the Hash’s songwriter was “Her ****** was squishy, It smelt a bit fishy.” Strap On was caught putting on sun-tan lotion after sunset, and Shafted, as always, was not paying attention – just two of the MissDemeanours that the RA trotted out for us – for the record they also included Twitcher, Just James, Slappa, Just Rose, Quiet Night in with the Wife, Banzai, Inspector Gadget and Nurse Ratched.

The Car Wash in aid of Head Gasket’s favourite charity – Dogodogodogo (Street Children project) – was a great success, and raised Tsh 640,000. And this does not include the donations that are still outstanding from those with Dip Plates and others who deliberately avoided the Car Wash, namely:
Wet Dream $......
Gary Glitter $......
Sir LanceseSlut $......
SCGIU Adam $......
Castrato $......
Thanks to all those who helped organise the event and took part.

For once it was the turn of the Harriettes to take the piss out of the Hashers. They had to parade past while the Harriettes passed unflattering comments about their bodies (just like a cattle market, Ed). Awards went to:
Outlaw Best Breasts and Legs
Squirrel Worst Dressed (what was Nutcracker doing letting him out like that?)
Huge Heffner Best Hairy Breasts
Boxer Best Filled Shorts
SCGIU Adam Best Bootylicious Butt

Virgins included Martha, Meg, Bullet Head (FSP: ten toes up), BDM and Ian (FSP: Cowgirrrls on top). By rights the Hashit should have gone to Sparkle because the greedy likkle madam had conned her bruvver into going round the Circle asking for the red necklaces back, but, sad to say, political correctness got the better of the Circle and they voted for Castrato – ostensibly for making the trail cross (which it didn’t, Ed). When asked for a note she sprayed the Circle with glistening globules of her spit (If you think she’s stroppy now, wait until till she’s a teenager, Ed). The Circle ended with the traditional anthem.

On On
BoB