Hash Trash 1404

Spitz n Swallows and Camp Bed’s Farewell Hash

At Camp Bed’s camp ground, along Grants Road (ED. You missed the ‘ in Grant’s. SCRIBE: No I didn’t, go look at the sign yourself. ED. Can’t, someone stole it. PC: Bastards.)

Hares: Mancuff and Dominatrix

GM: Cockroach

Guest RA: Gary Glitter

Scribe: Pleasure Centre

This week’s hash was a rather melancholy affair as we bid farewell to two of our most stalwart Hashers: Spitz n Swallows and Camp Bed! They will be missed terribly, not least by our erstwhile trailmaster, who could always count on them to host when nary a place could be found.

Sniff!

Anyway, on to the proceedings:

The Run was short and fast and the Walk long and sweaty, according to Dumbass and Tomba.

Seeing how it is normally the other way ‘round, I assume this means that NWH, a costumed charity extravaganza at Wet Dream’s Den, will have a long fast run and a short sweaty walk, just to mix things up. By the way, if you DON’T wear fancy dress to NWH, there could be trouble!

It is Ball season in DSM… first there’s the Marine Corps Ball, on the 6th (tickets still available, $65 a pop, see Mancuff if you want one), then the DYC ball on the 13th (members only, ya schlubs), then the St. Andrew’s Ball on the 20th. Tickets for that one will sell like hotcakes, so have your finger hovering over the “send” button on Monday morning, 8am sharp, if you want to reserve one (or a table!). The same band as last year will be performing, as well as warming up on the 17th at the Irish pub (a Scottish band at an Irish bar!?! The horror!), and again on the 19th at a charity event at the Holiday Inn (see Shaggy Haggis for more details). The big question- will the piper get tied to the beer truck again during the Hash? – remains unanswered, but we can only hope it will be an affirmative.

Not really a ball, but certainly a shindig- come one, come all to the Wild Things sponsored Charity Halloween Party at the Little Theatre on Saturday, 30 October. Wear Fancy dress, you might win a prize, and bring lots of cash to bid on some schwag. Kiddies party is early, adults come out late. Tickets (for adults) are 30,000 in advance (at Novel Idea), or 35,000 at the door.

Now that we got all the Balls out of the way (insert testicular related joke here) we can get back to celebrating Spitz and Camp Bed’s 3 year run with the DH3 with some lovely personalized bright blue t-shirts. Start counting SS:CB downdowns now: 1:1

The Guest RA pranced into the ring and started right into the misdemeanours:

Yours truly for “wiggling” on the dance floor at the farewell party Saturday night (or was that early Sunday morning?), but as one can’t drink alone SS and CB were nominated to join for the obligatory downdown 2:2

Wounded Knee got called in for messing up our lovely T-shirts by pouring beer on them (ED: I thought that was “enhancing” them), and as he couldn’t drink alone, SS and CB were invited in to join him (ED: I think I see a trend here… PC: Ya think?) 3:3

Shark Killer got called in for damaging the Peninsula with her knees, but when falsely accused of wearing new shoes by Legless, she got her revenge when HE had to a horizontal downdown out of her most assuredly OLD shoe.

CB and Spitz got called back to deal with something about Coal miners… (?) 4:4

Virgins!!

Nice big group of newcomers to the Dar es Salaam Hash:

Tomba a Hasher from Kenya brought by Craig who is a bit old fashioned in the sack…

Johanna, from Sweden, brought by Johannes who likes to spoon…

Jacob, from Sweden, brought by Johanna, who demonstrated a lovely torpedo maneuver…

Hennessy, from Toronto, brought by Mohammed, who likes it doggy style (woof woof!)…

Mohammed (who snuck out early on his REAL virgin hash), from Tanzania, brought by someone (my notes got sloppy here) who shares his friend’s preference for howling..

And last, but Certainly not least! Bambo’s Bitch, a former GM from Kazakhstan AND Armenia, brought by Wounded Knee, and with a predilection for spelunking.

Next the leavers and returners:

SS and CB (duh) 5:5

Foxy Pussy, back from SA

Dominatrix wasn’t really gone, but had to come back to work…

One final misdemeanour (or is this hash heroism?) went to AC/DC for her mesmerizing running technique, among her downdown sharers were, you guessed it, SS and CB 6:6

Back to the GM, who got down to the serious business of naming, appropriately, CB’s cousin! Lots of different options were discussed, we had a lot to work with, what with all the childhood traumas as described by CB, but it was finally narrowed down to … (drum roll please…)

Porker Stalker!

CB shared a Downdown with his newly christened cousin. 6:7 – CB is in the lead now, for those of you keeping track

Another leaving gift (a beautiful giraffe tray) for SS and CB led to another downdown 7:8

As there were no fewer that three ex GMs (CB, Bambo’s Bitch, and Wounded Knee) in the circle it was clearly a call for whipping out the new triple… 7:9

A whole slew of the inappropriately dressed were properly chastised (they had NO excuse, not when shirts were for sale right there before the circle!!).

SS and CB, on their way to the land of dum, dum, dums brought some other dumdums into the ring to send them back to the home of the brave: Nuts for Love, Butt Woman, Mancuff and Wounded Knee. 8:10

Finally we ended with the Hashit… Bambo’s Bitch’s nomination of Wounded Knee for being a copying lookalike (wearing the same Armenian hash T-shirt) won out over a slew of others.

The Circle ended with the usual song, and hungry hashers descended upon a truly huge amount of food.

For those counting, the final score was Spitz with 8 downdowns, and Campbed edging her out with 10.

Farewell fine friends… we will miss you terribly, and look forward to seeing you here again in February on your way to Maputo (or perhaps before in DC!).

ONON