HASH TRASH
Run No.1365 22 March 2010
Venue: Valhalla
Hares: Candyman and Rippa
Grand Master: Cockroach
Religious Advisor: Candyman

It pains me to admit it, but I couldn’t find much wrong with the trail. The Hares sold us the dummy successfully at several points, and we all had a good workout without getting completely cream-crackered. Other trail-setters please note. Hornygoat and another of the female persuasion gave the run and walk respectively a clean bill of health and this set the tone for the evening. A very, quiet, inoffensive, not to say anodyne, Hash. Of course Hash Mouth wasn’t there, which accounts for a lot of it, though I did see him skulking around at one point, and his partner-in-crime Flatters had blown out of town. Miss Demeanours included Sushi (Queen of Korogwe) and Boxer for their cool-down routines (how many times do we have to tell people that the Hash is not about healthy exercise, fitness, and all that crap). Announcements came thick and fast: a lecture on how to dynamite fish at IST (sic) on Thursday (25th) evening, a beach binge for Rippa at the Goldings Hideaway on Sunday 28th, a St George’s Soc Treasure Hunt on the same day, the Udzungwa Experience over Easter, and the Bagomoyo Run on 15th / 16th May. NWH is at the Golding’s TownHouse. Rippa is leaving us for sandier pastures, but the GM’s plea for a replacement Trailmaster fell on deaf ears. I think the problem is that everyone is put off by the impossibly high standard that Rippa set in performing this duty. The Religious Advisor, Candyman, called on Boxer to parade in his silky, cream, oh-so-tight-fitting, cycling shorts - when he lifted his T-shirt a little I saw a sight that will haunt me for ever, and Candyblower nearly fainted clean away - he seemed to be impossibly well-endowed, and, sure enough, Foxy confirmed to me afterwards that Boxer has been known to keep a spare pair of running socks down there. Let’s move quickly on now to the Inappropriately Dressed / Returnees, who included Rubber Bum (bouncing in that very day from New Zealand), Christian, Amit, Bijal, Bumtitty, Squirrel, Deep Throat, and Never Pays (as he was then known). I feel a new paragraph coming on.

It is always good to have Virgins, according to the RA, and he should know, having defrocked scores over recent years. They included Sandra, Meredith, Slip Inside, Melanie, Burton, Marcus and Jenna, and their FSPs conformed very much to the national stereotypes, ie involving cowgirls(US), dogs(UK) and sheep(NZ). Nuts for Love’s other half (Never Pays that was) was named Castrato (I haven’t got time to explain fortunately). The serious business of awarding the Hashit by popular vote has degenerated to the stage where it now appears to be the personal gift of the GM - how else to explain that it was awarded to the blameless Rippa? And the Circle ended in the traditional way.

On On
BoB